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Head of the household.

Bullshit, yall aint talk about it long enough

I'm running around trying to find the popping thread all night long and all along it was in here smh

Why a nigga couldn't get a mention?
 
AP21 said:
anyway, the only reason why i brought up to trini the point about men and breast milk is because yes, men have the tools to breastfeed a child. They have breast tissue, they have nipples, and i believe they have the glands or whatever to actually produce milk, however, they dont have ALL the things required to do so. I wonder why. Could it be, it is not their role to breastfeed their offspring? NO....cant be right?

But no one bats an eye that a man isnt supposed to be able to breastfeed his offspring. Let me be crystal clear, my opinion is not one that suggests that women should not be treated as equals when it comes to decision making in the house. HOWEVER, i do feel that by the natural design of things, women are very emotional creatures and more often than not, base decisions on emotion. That is not to say there are no women capable of making decisions based on logic, but an overwhelming majority of women do not. Men, otoh, are the rational, logic based decision makers in the relationship.

When i say a man comes to his wife with a vision for the family. Thats not me saying he beats her over the head with a club and drags her back to the cave, or tells her that her place is the kitchen so stfu. No, im saying that he comes to her with ideals that are going to govern how his family will operate in the capacity that will best suit his family dynamic. The woman is always welcomed to give her opinion, but lets think about this for a sec. There are two people trying to make a decision. Who is the tie breaker when they dont agree? Thats when the man weighs the pros and cons of both povs, then makes a decision, BUT i do believe he owes it to his wife to tell her how he arrived at that decision. your vision of a marriage sounds like my idea of hell but probably another woman's heaven.

Judge Dread said something about not doing any activity w/o talking it over with his wife as she is the only who keeps up with the calendar, for lack of a better term. I see nothing wrong with that in that they have identified that his her strong suit. She is probably more organized when it comes to that aspect, so there is nothing wrong with him running something by her so that she can confirm it does not cause any scheduling conflict, but that does not make her the head. That is just him simply recognizing that she does something better to him and they use that as a strength in the relationship.
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That sounds cool and all but still nothing compelling to defend that one size fits all. your fundamental point is that men should by default lead the home when personality types vary so broadly to the point where that's ridiculous. there will be men who won't even want that simply because their wives might be more equipped.

no shade but I think this logic is primitive and best left for the caves. good news is, a whole lot of people will agree with you and opinions like mine are likely the minority.
 
BNE said:
That sounds cool and all but still nothing compelling to defend that one size fits all. your fundamental point is that men should by default lead the home when personality types vary so broadly to the point where that's ridiculous. there will be men who won't even want that simply because their wives might be more equipped.

no shade but I think this logic is primitive and best left for the caves. good news is, a whole lot of people will agree with you and opinions like mine are likely the minority.
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aye mayne, i didnt invent biology lol
 
Kandy said:
I'm sick of all these damn rules. The husband is supposed to do this, the husband is supposed to do that. Everything don't work for everybody. If splitting the bills is what makes us work, then that's what it's going to be. It doesn't make him any less of a man.
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This
 
What does head of household even mean? The one who pays the majority of the bills? The one that literally takes care of the house? Who is really concerned about that in their relationship? I don't make major decisions without her and she doesn't make them with me. What decisions or veto power make you the head of your household for those that actually live with someone else?
 
Judge Dread said:
What does head of household even mean? The one who pays the majority of the bills? The one that literally takes care of the house? Who is really concerned about that in their relationship? I don't make major decisions without her and she doesn't make them with me. What decisions or veto power make you the head of your household for those that actually live with someone else?
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The one who pays the majority of the bills? ...NO

The one that literally takes care of the house?...NO

Who is really concerned about that in their relationship?... I'm under the belief that every dynamic has to have a vision. The vision varies from relationship to relationship.

I don't make major decisions without her and she doesn't make them with me....this is dope and should be at a minimum, pretty common in all relationships, but the reality is, it aint.
 
AP21 said:
you do that
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I'll send u the list via pm in a few mins.
Judge Dread said:
What does head of household even mean? The one who pays the majority of the bills? The one that literally takes care of the house? Who is really concerned about that in their relationship? I don't make major decisions without her and she doesn't make them with me. What decisions or veto power make you the head of your household for those that actually live with someone else?
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it's an abstract idea. it used to be go hand in hand with the breadwinner, now that there have been a couple recessions and the ego is still alive and thriving, you got folks saying "it doesn't matter if you're a house husband, or the financial dependent of your wife, you're still the head of the household by design". they're more likely to accept a-historical household roles within that and adopt the most liberal interpretation of the "head of the home" concept, than they are to consider the idea of 2 adults leading a household... together. it's revolutionary and hilariously regressive at the same time. fascinating.

what you've described between you and your wife sounds like a partnership. Goals!
 
The concept of a person who's "head of the household" is quite antiquated, and really it's only a tangible idea when dealing with taxes (head of household literally means someone who's pays 50% of the cost of running a home and lives at said home). Outside of that it's not a truly defined idea, it's very abstract and varies on who you ask, some would say it doesn't truly exist, most people run the home as a team with their partner no matter financial status. And I don't see that trend changing in the near future, so really it depends on who you ask.
 
AP21 said:
The one who pays the majority of the bills? ...NO

The one that literally takes care of the house?...NO

Who is really concerned about that in their relationship?... I'm under the belief that every dynamic has to have a vision. The vision varies from relationship to relationship.

I don't make major decisions without her and she doesn't make them with me....this is dope and should be at a minimum, pretty common in all relationships, but the reality is, it aint.
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Isn't vision a shared thing? When you are dating don't you discuss your plans for the future and she discusses hers and both of you come up with a vision? Or you just say this is what we are going to do and she follows?
 
Judge Dread said:
Isn't vision a shared thing? When you are dating don't you discuss your plans for the future and she discusses hers and both of you come up with a vision? Or you just say this is what we are going to do and she follows?
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you can have a similar vision, but not the same paths on how to get there

you not gon ALWAYS agree on that. There are going to be times more often than not where someone will concede to the others way of thinking. Thats just the dynamic when you have two people who have been primarily individuals for most of their lives coming together as a union
 
AP21 said:
you kinda did
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just checked.
BNE said:
seeing as breastfeeding parties in lesbian marriages have been the "leader", your argument already aint looking good.

you're assuming everybody is heterosexual and that everybody wants the same setup.

especially in a day and age where tons of women don't breastfeed and have their kids in daycare early af.
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BNE said:
you're feeding the baby. plenty of women exclusively pump and fed their baby via bottles from the jump, what you're doing is no different.
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Doesn't look like I advocated for or against anything related to breastfeeding.

whatever y'all read, had nothing to do with what I typed lol
 
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