Child Support - Fair or Foul?

Knock_Twice said:
Ok Du

I hear you breh

You gotta put ppl in roles.


Let's say you wasn't married.

Let's say you picked out a g/f, you got her pregnant and things didn't work out, and yall broke up. I'ma even say, yall had good break-up, she went her way and you went your way, you still in the child life and all, still providing


What would stop her from just waking up one day, having a feeling about your current situation (you being married) not go downtown to put you on child support?

How would you stop that?

Remember the g/f you picked didn't show red flags and isn't trifling but she seeing you with a new girl/wife isn't sitting well with her while she's lonely and alone
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this doesn't' happen to me.

i'm far too paranoid.
 
AP21 said:
I'm not going to try and speak from a position like I know everything so let me say, I'm not familiar with no other state outside of Louisiana. Hell, Louisiana is either the only state or one of the few that require the two parties that are getting a divorce to be separated 12 months first if they have children. Other states either do 6 months and the rest make it final as soon as the papers are signed by the judge.

With that said, in the state of Louisiana, just because you are a woman and walk into a court trying to file papers, they not just gon automatically put a dude on support. Again, this not a one size fits all approach. If you have done the bare minimum or Jack shit, don't be surprised you gon end up contributing something.

There is a formula involved based on income levels between the two parties. How bout you seed up a chick who not working an hourly wage. That might help the scales in your favor if you make a significant amount of money compared to her.

But, let's say, you have checks, receipts, etc showing that not only do you contribute financially, you do it every single month without missing a beat. Who can argue that you need to pay more? At that point all going to court does is take the moment directly out of your hands to give to the mother who is just going to turn around and, hopefully, do the exact same thing?

At that point, it's just the perception that she has you court ordered to do something you were already doing in the first place.
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Breh don't believe that, that's your feelings vs what's in the law.

That last paragraph you type will get thrown out the window, the best you can hope for is that your payment are low.

The judges don't care about that breh, what is that so hard for you to understand,

If your gf or whoever, goes downtown and file for petition, your lawyer you get, will only work with you to present you as a fair decent dude and will help lower your payments breh.

If everybody did what you did, the good dudes that are getting their check garnished wouldn't be going through what they going through

You aint the 1st person to think of that breh
 
Savage Du said:
maybe not every.....

as i said i hate to use blanket statements....

but one outta the two is trifling for sure.......and the other has to share some of that shit for breeding with them....

i only say that because ideally child support wouldn't even have to be on the table. something went wrong. some things were said. and at some point the realization was made that this person had to be ordered by state to take care of their own child.

And i'm sorry if this is a difficult point of view to accept. I'm sorry if it makes you feel some kinda way. But if you need the state to force the other parent of your child to take care of them. You fucked up somewhere along the line. That's not the kinda mistake I would think anyone would repeat.

NO one wants to make a child with someone they have to force to be in the child's life. A mistake was made. That much is certain.
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Lol okey dokey.
 
BNE said:
You're doing a lot of assuming. Child support doesn't force someone to be in the child's life, it solely addresses finances. Visitation and custody are handled separately.

Using formal procedures for child support doesn't mean the person is a deadbeat. There are men who voluntarily do it because it'd work out as less than what they'd be paying if they came up with an informal arrangement with their exes.

Y'all are viewing child support petitions as allegations of deadbeatness when it might just be a way to let the state handle it n not have to negotiate amongst yourselves.
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and you are addressing the exceptions much more than the rule as if the roles were reversed.
 
Knock_Twice said:
But you'll be considered trifling and fuck'd up in the head if you went downtown though.
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And that's fine because I went downtown and I know why I went downtown. I know who and what I am also. A lot of people assume and a lot of people like to say what they won't do because they haven't been in the situation.
 
Niggas need to know instead of just saying "oh the system is fuck'd up" or if I be an Angle to my kid's mom, yea it helps but that shit aint solid, mad day will come, or if I do everything in the book that's right, niggas and women need to know how this shit works.

And I still stand on it, you don't know what a person will and won't do. Misery is a beast
 
BNE said:
spousal support wasn't actually discussed, just using it as an analogy.

in all likelihood, I'll be the poorer party entering a marriage. do I still believe in prenups, hell yes. petitioning for child support isn't too different from that. the formal route aint gotta be vilified @Knock_Twice
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Why you keep saying that I'm vilifying child support?
 
BNE said:
official child support isn't something to be offended by. child poverty is a more pressing issue than egos.

when someone truly can't afford the child support payments, you can negotiate for payment plans. I'm guessing that if, as you say, bad blood is what led to the petition... surely the state acting as a mediator would be more effective than them arguing amongst themselves and likely in front of their shared kids about money?
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a series of bad decisions hitting a head....at that point you just gotta play the hand that suits you best.....

all i'm saying is don't let it get there.....and that happens my moving more responsibly.....

these things don't just happen...and everyone has that moment of "what was i thinking?" at some point....

i originally got into this cuz i was saying niggaz be fuckign up early in the game and be playing innocent when shit hit the fan....

and i still feel that way...

going all the way back to the video....the ball was dropped way before shorty called and told him she went to get them papers....

my assumption is that there were a lotta fucked u and bad conversations before that point.....

enough to the point that if they really go back, one of them definitely knew the other was gonna be a problem, yet they still went forward..

we know when we fucked up with people....

if i had a child with ANY of the women i messed with before my wife.....i would still love that child as much as i love my two now... but i know i would have fucked up.....i know that would have been a bad situation....and i actively avoided that and took the precautions....cuz i knew i wasn't trying to live with that kinda drama
 
Savage Du said:
naw go in.....

i can talk about this maturely if you can...

no feelings whatsoever....just opinions and point of views
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You can't necessarily say every woman is trifling for putting the father on child support.

It's SO many instances besides the father being a deadbeat, that a man is put on child support.

You have people who can't come to an agreement and let the courts handle it. You have people who actually think it's easier to be out on child support because it's automatically taken out.

You also have people like my sons father and I who made it a business decision sort of. We couldn't afford childcare for my son along with other bills we had to pay. However, had he been on child support, child care would have been cheaper from the age 1-5. So we decided together that I would put him on child support, so our son could get child care and guess where that money went? Back into our household.

So like I said, every woman who files for child support isn't trifling and also child support has nothing to do with visitation or forcing someone to be in their kids life. It's finances.
 
Knock_Twice said:
Breh don't believe that, that's your feelings vs what's in the law.

That last paragraph you type will get thrown out the window, the best you can hope for is that your payment are low.

The judges don't care about that breh, what is that so hard for you to understand,

If your gf or whoever, goes downtown and file for petition, your lawyer you get, will only work with you to present you as a fair decent dude and will help lower your payments breh.

If everybody did what you did, the good dudes that are getting their check garnished wouldn't be going through what they going through

You aint the 1st person to think of that breh
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Lol

I'ma chill
 
BNE said:
because you're talking about official child support orders like they're inherently negative. all they are is a formal avenue for something that should already be happening, and having things formalized protects both parties.

you've repeatedly and consistently said "good dudes get papers put on them/petitions for child support" in a negative context. all it means is that it's being handled through the state and determined via state formulas instead of informally.
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No,

I'm talking about women putting dudes on child support when they are doing the right thing as far as providing for their child and spending the time with their child. I'm speaking on how messed up that is.

Good dudes shouldn't be going through the state.
 
Kandy said:
You can't necessarily say every woman is trifling for putting the father on child support.

It's SO many instances besides the father being a deadbeat, that a man is put on child support.

You have people who can't come to an agreement and let the courts handle it. You have people who actually think it's easier to be out on child support because it's automatically taken out.

You also have people like my sons father and I who made it a business decision sort of. We couldn't afford childcare for my son along with other bills we had to pay. However, had he been on child support, child care would have been cheaper from the age 1-5. So we decided together that I would put him on child support, so our son could get child care and guess where that money went? Back into our household.

So like I said, every woman who files for child support isn't trifling and also child support has nothing to do with visitation or forcing someone to be in their kids life. It's finances.
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that's an interesting exception..and i could see how that would play out....

certainly not like the video that sparked this convo.....

which is why again i hate going with the blanket statements... but surely you see how that's an interesting exception and also extra grimey on the part of the government.....

me and my wife often joked that financially the best thing for her and the kids would be to divorce me apply for full state benefits and take me on child support....

while it would all but cripple me. they'd be banking off the shit like fat rats
 
Knock_Twice said:
Good dudes shouldn't be going through the state.
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this is my point too....

in most situation.....most... not the wild exceptions....it's mostly about the money....

there are other benefits...but if it's solely about the money, i'd rather have an set amount be taken directly out my direct deposit and placed into her account, so that she gets every penny to the dollar than have it be washed thru the government

and i just can't picture myself messing with someone who wouldn't understand that..

everytime i pick up a second job i give them a voided check to my wife's solo account....

that's her money....

and we always joke that would be her child support if she left me
 
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