Welcome To aBlackWeb

Register

When is the last time you told a woman to "calm down"?

PrecociousMorty said:
She yelling cause you already conditioned her that she won't be heard, cause u ain't heard her before. So she yellin, but what she really doing is speaking louder in hopes it forces you to stay silent and hear what she gotta say.

U or other people in her life before u
Click to expand...
No

Don't project here
 
Whis Khalifa said:
Define irrational... Like who gauges which response suits the situation?
Click to expand...
Obviously im speaking in generalizations because its different for each individual...

Best example is saying hurtful/out of line things to a person in the heat of anger

Physical violence if pushed there...

I def have had times with my lady where I was 38 hot...and calmly told her I need to process my thoughts and emotions....can we talk about this later...cause I wouldnt wanna say or do some foul shit in the heat of the moment.

I only ask to recv that same courtesy...


Also seeing my father be verbally and eventually physically abusive toward my mother (and me and my siblings as well) because he had no self control plays a huge part in why I am so adament about “calming down”
 
AP21 said:
No

Don't project here
Click to expand...
I ain't projecting fam, the loudest most aggressive people are that way cause they were never really given that nurturing touch.

Shorty get to yelling and spazzing

The minute she break..hit her wit..ok

tumblr_lvn8x8byy71r3zat8-1425498592.gif

And repeat a point and reaffirm her like..

I understand that what I did made you mad, and right now u are frustrated with me.

She will calm down a lil, and explain her frustrations. And all you gotta do is continue in that vein. But actually listen, and when she finally wants to hear from u..she will let u know

You just give her points back to her, appologize that what you did made her feel a way. Even if you don't agree with her being upset. You agree that you know she is upset.
 
  • Like
Reactions: B_A
Bruh forget all that.

I was just having a joking conversation with a woman. We're both ribbing, being sarcastic, then I say "Well we can talk when you calm down"

She got serious as fuck immediately and even brought in another woman so they can gang up on me for "invalidating them".

You know what I did? I told the other one to fuckin calm down too.
 
PrecociousMorty said:
I ain't projecting fam, the loudest most aggressive people are that way cause they were never really given that nurturing touch.

Shorty get to yelling and spazzing

The minute she break..hit her wit..ok

View attachment 92445

And repeat a point and reaffirm her like..

I understand that what I did made you mad, and right now u are frustrated with me.

She will calm down a lil, and explain her frustrations. And all you gotta do is continue in that vein. But actually listen, and when she finally wants to hear from u..she will let u know

You just give her points back to her, appologize that what you did made her feel a way. Even if you don't agree with her being upset. You agree that you know she is upset.
Click to expand...
This only works when two people are rational in the heat of an argument

That is the exception and not the rule
 
What I'm learning is "calm down" is triggering to women. She can go from perfectly calm and happy to the incredible fucking hulk just by you telling her to call down.
 
U rational..u can help her get there, stop being the victim fam. She can scream all day and call u a lil dick nigga. Only what u allow to hurt u, hurts u
 
Whis Khalifa said:
It's exactly the same. The anger is typically rooted in an opinion that one person deems important to themselves aka is passionate about.

I've done customer service for years, jo...I know how to listen through the yelling to find the root of the problem. And it's always best to let the customer vent, give them a long pause after they finish yelling, then continue in a volume that sets the tone for the rest of the discussion. Don't match their energy, make them match yours.

And if that can't be done, then hang up. Nobody is saying continue to subject yourself to what you consider verbal abuse.
Click to expand...

This scenario is a false equivalence.... There is a difference between taking shit from a customer which is someone you don't know for the sake of business purposes and taking shit from someone who is supposed to love and respect you... I care enough about your feelings not to yell over you or try to be the dominant one in the conversation... If I do that shit... I'm an asshole....if she does it, she is "strong-willed"

Seems legit...
 
Soul_Rattler said:
You don't have to "not all" me. I know every woman doesn't get physical. What I'm saying is, what's understood won't be explained in the heat of the moment.

You wouldn't tolerate a child yelling at you because you understand that that child is only yelling at you because they can't impose themselves on an adult.

"Calm down" doesn't mean "shut up and stop talking". It means deescalate the conflict so an amicable compromise can be reached.
Click to expand...


This.

Especially if we're in a public spot.
 
For however much emotions increase that much declines in critical* thought. Emotionally fused arguments rarely end well because minds have literally been lost to emotion which knows no reason or rationale. You cannot argue with emotion it doesnt not compute, it can only operate off of reacting to things, no critical thinking involved.

Like us rn are having logical rational conversation even tho some of us are not seeing eye to eye. If emotion was to be added the argument would devolve into cheap shots, wild accusations and unreasonability.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top