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Killmonger was “toxic”

BlackRain said:
Given that the vast majority of black folks still date and marry other black folks when speaking in terms of domestic violence stats then it's clear that black men will be the "leading cause" of anything negative that happens to black women when speaking within that context. That doesn't mean that domestic violence isn't a serious issue that needs to continuously be addressed or that the ways in which we reinforce certain traits and qualities that can lead to the mistreatment of black women don't need to be addressed. However, it's pretty much like saying "Black parents abuse black children more than others"...it's an obvious point that does nothing but reinforce a negative stereotype of black men that we fight against daily so yeah you're going to get some push back from other men who simply are tired of being painted with the same broad brush from the world and it will always sting more coming from a black woman. That doesn't excuse those over the top reactions, but it gives them some context as to where they come from and what they're rooted in.
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the claim is correct. tbh i dont care how it may look to the outside world or if ppl are hurt because of the generalization. (its no longer becomes a generalization for me when about 22 percent of Black women in the us have experienced rape. 40% experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime and we are more likely to be killed at higher rates than any other group of women and these are only those that report abuse because many BW never speak about their lived experiences. we have a code of silence in a lot of homes and communities) Fact is DV/IPV is a common theme in our communities. the statistics are alarming and thats just what it is.

I really dont have time to coddle mens egos or step out of the work that needs to be done to say “well not all Black men” :ualreadyknow: what does that do for me? or you? or those that dont like what im saying?

we know not all Black men are abusers and if you know youre not someone that harms women, why is the conversation so hard for you to have?

ill tell you why 1. youre a race first weirdo that rather spend your time absolving BM/BW of wrongdoing because it fits your lopsided narrative thus rendering you useless

or 2. you have harmed a woman whether consciously or unconsciously and dont wish to unpack that in fear of looking like a “monster”

what else could it be? niggas are worried about generalizations and optics when they should be more focused on curbing the narrative and holding themselves and those around them accountable.
 
funny how the folxs who think queerness “destroys families” keep being the same ppl excusing domestic violence, intimate partner violence, rape and murder in heterosexual relationships and ignore THAT impact on families.

homophobes hate logic tho. love homophobia and misogyny tho.
 
Race Jones said:
the claim is correct. tbh i dont care how it may look to the outside world or if ppl are hurt because of the generalization. (its no longer becomes a generalization for me when about 22 percent of Black women in the us have experienced rape. 40% experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime and we are more likely to be killed at higher rates than any other group of women and these are only those that report abuse because many BW never speak about their lived experiences. we have a code of silence in a lot of homes and communities) Fact is DV/IPV is a common theme in our communities. the statistics are alarming and thats just what it is.

I really dont have time to coddle mens egos or step out of the work that needs to be done to say “well not all Black men” :ualreadyknow: what does that do for me? or you? or those that dont like what im saying?

we know not all Black men are abusers and if you know youre not someone that harms women, why is the conversation so hard for you to have?

ill tell you why 1. youre a race first weirdo that rather spend your time absolving BM/BW of wrongdoing because it fits your lopsided narrative thus rendering you useless

or 2. you have harmed a woman whether consciously or unconsciously and dont wish to unpack that in fear of looking like a “monster”

what else could it be? niggas are worried about generalizations and optics when they should be more focused on curbing the narrative and holding themselves and those around them accountable.
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i think your reasons for why someone may feel some kind of way are limited...


many men... black or not have a protective nature... i often feel i obligated to help someone more than my reason can justify.... it's just in me...

and it's very difficult to help someone who is actively attacking you.....


it's not about coddling an ego at all.....

but if i feel like you are going to spend more time attacking me than accepting any help i may attempt to provide...at some point i'm going to have to fall back because clearl my help is not wanted...

but because we feel so attached to the situation, and feel obligated in our nature to help...it's just as difficult to just walk away....

that creates conflict....

so all i think BR was trying to explain is that conflict can often be counterproductive, and we do more infighting than actually addressing the issue at hand
 
depends on the situation tbh

idk if im gonna give you an answer you're looking for

but when im among non blacks, i identify as black first

when im among blacks, i identify as my gender
 
Race Jones said:
the claim is correct. tbh i dont care how it may look to the outside world or if ppl are hurt because of the generalization. (its no longer becomes a generalization for me when about 22 percent of Black women in the us have experienced rape. 40% experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime and we are more likely to be killed at higher rates than any other group of women and these are only those that report abuse because many BW never speak about their lived experiences. we have a code of silence in a lot of homes and communities) Fact is DV/IPV is a common theme in our communities. the statistics are alarming and thats just what it is.

I really dont have time to coddle mens egos or step out of the work that needs to be done to say “well not all Black men” :ualreadyknow: what does that do for me? or you? or those that dont like what im saying?

we know not all Black men are abusers and if you know youre not someone that harms women, why is the conversation so hard for you to have?

ill tell you why 1. youre a race first weirdo that rather spend your time absolving BM/BW of wrongdoing because it fits your lopsided narrative thus rendering you useless

or 2. you have harmed a woman whether consciously or unconsciously and dont wish to unpack that in fear of looking like a “monster”

what else could it be? niggas are worried about generalizations and optics when they should be more focused on curbing the narrative and holding themselves and those around them accountable.
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That was already debunked but you got it...
 
Interesting question

I am a man before anything. With that said I'm a black man who will always side with my people even when we wrong against all non-black people.

Once we are around each other with no outsiders I will tell my people you was wrong.
 
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@Thor,

its hard to explain...when im refereeing and some idiot coach try to get buck. I tell him quick, "say brah, dont let these stripes get it twisted, I'ma man before I'm a ref...you not gon sit here and be with the antics all day and think im not gon say something to you about it"

if i ever feel like i was being disrespected by a sig other, i would tell her that I'm a man and I aint on that shit, but its already understood I'm black soooo...well i guess its understood im a man too...idk idk

but if we talking about a discussion where you have certain groups of people, I think identifying as black gets the discussion along further than identifying as a man. We as a whole, both men and women are treated unfair at a much larger proportion than non blacks. So, first, I want shit to be good for my people that look like me, then we can start breaking shit down by gender
 
AP21 said:
@Thor,

its hard to explain...when im refereeing and some idiot coach try to get buck. I tell him quick, "say brah, dont let these stripes get it twisted, I'ma man before I'm a ref...you not gon sit here and be with the antics all day and think im not gon say something to you about it"

if i ever feel like i was being disrespected by a sig other, i would tell her that I'm a man and I aint on that shit, but its already understood I'm black soooo...well i guess its understood im a man too...idk idk

but if we talking about a discussion where you have certain groups of people, I think identifying as black gets the discussion along further than identifying as a man. We as a whole, both men and women are treated unfair at a much larger proportion than non blacks. So, first, I want shit to be good for my people that look like me, then we can start breaking shit down by gender
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I get what you saying.
 
AP21 said:
@Thor,

its hard to explain...when im refereeing and some idiot coach try to get buck. I tell him quick, "say brah, dont let these stripes get it twisted, I'ma man before I'm a ref...you not gon sit here and be with the antics all day and think im not gon say something to you about it"

if i ever feel like i was being disrespected by a sig other, i would tell her that I'm a man and I aint on that shit, but its already understood I'm black soooo...well i guess its understood im a man too...idk idk

but if we talking about a discussion where you have certain groups of people, I think identifying as black gets the discussion along further than identifying as a man. We as a whole, both men and women are treated unfair at a much larger proportion than non blacks. So, first, I want shit to be good for my people that look like me, then we can start breaking shit down by gender
Click to expand...
This ap



I yam a maaan
 
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