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Killmonger was “toxic”

AP21 said:
aye real spill

be careful out there fam
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I bleach wiped the whole apartment already.
Did the elevator buttons and front door handle and mailbox too.

These idiots still celebrated the holiday the last three days. Shit bout to get outta hand here.
 
Race Jones said:
the claim is correct. tbh i dont care how it may look to the outside world or if ppl are hurt because of the generalization. (its no longer becomes a generalization for me when about 22 percent of Black women in the us have experienced rape. 40% experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime and we are more likely to be killed at higher rates than any other group of women and these are only those that report abuse because many BW never speak about their lived experiences. we have a code of silence in a lot of homes and communities) Fact is DV/IPV is a common theme in our communities. the statistics are alarming and thats just what it is.

I really dont have time to coddle mens egos or step out of the work that needs to be done to say “well not all Black men” :ualreadyknow: what does that do for me? or you? or those that dont like what im saying?

we know not all Black men are abusers and if you know youre not someone that harms women, why is the conversation so hard for you to have?

ill tell you why 1. youre a race first weirdo that rather spend your time absolving BM/BW of wrongdoing because it fits your lopsided narrative thus rendering you useless

or 2. you have harmed a woman whether consciously or unconsciously and dont wish to unpack that in fear of looking like a “monster”

what else could it be? niggas are worried about generalizations and optics when they should be more focused on curbing the narrative and holding themselves and those around them accountable.
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The statistics say that Black women are about 4 times likely to die by their own hand than by a domestic partner. The stats say that Black women are nearly as likely to die in a body of water than by a domestic partner. The stats also say that Black women are terrible drivers and are about three times as likely to die in a car crash than by a domestic partner.

Context, Race, is what you're lacking. Without it the claim is misleading, if not an outright lie.
 
konceptjones said:
The statistics say that Black women are about 4 times likely to die by their own hand than by a domestic partner. The stats say that Black women are nearly as likely to die in a body of water than by a domestic partner. The stats also say that Black women are terrible drivers and are about three times as likely to die in a car crash than by a domestic partner.

Context, Race, is what you're lacking. Without it the claim is misleading, if not an outright lie.
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those are the facts.gif
 
Race Jones said:
the claim is correct. tbh i dont care how it may look to the outside world or if ppl are hurt because of the generalization. (its no longer becomes a generalization for me when about 22 percent of Black women in the us have experienced rape. 40% experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime and we are more likely to be killed at higher rates than any other group of women and these are only those that report abuse because many BW never speak about their lived experiences. we have a code of silence in a lot of homes and communities) Fact is DV/IPV is a common theme in our communities. the statistics are alarming and thats just what it is.

I really dont have time to coddle mens egos or step out of the work that needs to be done to say “well not all Black men” :ualreadyknow: what does that do for me? or you? or those that dont like what im saying?

we know not all Black men are abusers and if you know youre not someone that harms women, why is the conversation so hard for you to have?

ill tell you why 1. youre a race first weirdo that rather spend your time absolving BM/BW of wrongdoing because it fits your lopsided narrative thus rendering you useless

or 2. you have harmed a woman whether consciously or unconsciously and dont wish to unpack that in fear of looking like a “monster”

what else could it be? niggas are worried about generalizations and optics when they should be more focused on curbing the narrative and holding themselves and those around them accountable.
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Well for one it would stop the conflating of an issue and lead to better clarity on just what it exactly is you're attacking. It's not about coddling egos it's about making sure the message you're trying to deliver actually gets delivered. You're so caught up in "I'm going to say what I want and nobody will stop me" that you're not even considering what the best way to present your actual message is. Now maybe if you take into account that you actually need to present information in a way that's appealing to the listener instead of "I'm not going to let a man tell me how to talk" you would get alot further with shit. That's a trait of a good communicator which many of your ilk seem to lack. The conversation isn't hard for me, or alot of other men I know because we actually do talk about this shit when it's relevant to a topic, to have. The problem is that the people you want this message to reach simply do not give a single flying fuck about it. The vast majority of men do not abuse women because we inherently know it's wrong. You don't really need to be told it's not to ok to be abusive to somebody. You just kinda know the shit is foul. It doesn't sit right with your spirit.

However, the problem you and many others who take your approach fail to realize is the men who are your target audience, the actual abusers, also know the shit is wrong they simply don't fucking care and repeatedly yelling at them that it's wrong does nothing. So then ya'll go to yelling at the men who aren't abusers and then wonder why we reply back "Yeah we know it's wrong and we ain't abusing nobody so next topic"...It's not that it's being ignored it's that you're telling somebody some shit they already know. And as far as "holding others accountable" again this speaks to something that I say men don't do alot of, which is women also don't know as much about men, men's friendships, or how men communicate as much as ya'll think. Again, men already know abuse is wrong. You think men are just casually laying up and saying "Yeah, I had to smack her in the face last night. You know how it goes" and his homies is just laughing and co-signing the shit? Nah. So on the chance that out of a group of let's say 5 men who would consider themselves friends if 1 is an abuser you can be about 98% sure he ain't saying shit about what he does at home to his woman because he already knows that shit aint' right, his homies ain't riding with him on it, and generally what their reaction to him would be if they were to find out.
 
BlackRain said:
Well for one it would stop the conflating of an issue and lead to better clarity on just what it exactly is you're attacking. It's not about coddling egos it's about making sure the message you're trying to deliver actually gets delivered. You're so caught up in "I'm going to say what I want and nobody will stop me" that you're not even considering what the best way to present your actual message is. Now maybe if you take into account that you actually need to present information in a way that's appealing to the listener instead of "I'm not going to let a man tell me how to talk" you would get alot further with shit. That's a trait of a good communicator which many of your ilk seem to lack. The conversation isn't hard for me, or alot of other men I know because we actually do talk about this shit when it's relevant to a topic, to have. The problem is that the people you want this message to reach simply do not give a single flying fuck about it. The vast majority of men do not abuse women because we inherently know it's wrong. You don't really need to be told it's not to ok to be abusive to somebody. You just kinda know the shit is foul. It doesn't sit right with your spirit.

However, the problem you and many others who take your approach fail to realize is the men who are your target audience, the actual abusers, also know the shit is wrong they simply don't fucking care and repeatedly yelling at them that it's wrong does nothing. So then ya'll go to yelling at the men who aren't abusers and then wonder why we reply back "Yeah we know it's wrong and we ain't abusing nobody so next topic"...It's not that it's being ignored it's that you're telling somebody some shit they already know. And as far as "holding others accountable" again this speaks to something that I say men don't do alot of, which is women also don't know as much about men, men's friendships, or how men communicate as much as ya'll think. Again, men already know abuse is wrong. You think men are just casually laying up and saying "Yeah, I had to smack her in the face last night. You know how it goes" and his homies is just laughing and co-signing the shit? Nah. So on the chance that out of a group of let's say 5 men who would consider themselves friends if 1 is an abuser you can be about 98% sure he ain't saying shit about what he does at home to his woman because he already knows that shit aint' right, his homies ain't riding with him on it, and generally what their reaction to him would be if they were to find out.
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Im not doubling down Black rain or altering my msg to make others comfortable. sorry.

again, ppl say stop being angry and educate us failing to realize the anger is part of the education.

the fragility here amongst you and your comrades is the issue.

lets unpack that.
 
konceptjones said:
The statistics say that Black women are about 4 times likely to die by their own hand than by a domestic partner. The stats say that Black women are nearly as likely to die in a body of water than by a domestic partner. The stats also say that Black women are terrible drivers and are about three times as likely to die in a car crash than by a domestic partner.

Context, Race, is what you're lacking. Without it the claim is misleading, if not an outright lie.
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Black women are more like to die by Black men than any other race. why is that? what causes this level of violence? what are the historical contexts?
 
Duwop said:
i think your reasons for why someone may feel some kind of way are limited...


many men... black or not have a protective nature... i often feel i obligated to help someone more than my reason can justify.... it's just in me...

and it's very difficult to help someone who is actively attacking you.....


it's not about coddling an ego at all.....

but if i feel like you are going to spend more time attacking me than accepting any help i may attempt to provide...at some point i'm going to have to fall back because clearl my help is not wanted...

but because we feel so attached to the situation, and feel obligated in our nature to help...it's just as difficult to just walk away....

that creates conflict....

so all i think BR was trying to explain is that conflict can often be counterproductive, and we do more infighting than actually addressing the issue at hand
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you need to grow up.
nobody is going to coddle you or pat you on your back for being a decent human being. you live in Bmore for christ sakes are u familiar with the DV/IPV stats in ur hood?

you have a daughter. i wouldnt be whining about the narrative. i would be pushing for change
 
BlackRain said:
Again, men already know abuse is wrong. You think men are just casually laying up and saying "Yeah, I had to smack her in the face last night. You know how it goes" and his homies is just laughing and co-signing the shit? Nah. So on the chance that out of a group of let's say 5 men who would consider themselves friends if 1 is an abuser you can be about 98% sure he ain't saying shit about what he does at home to his woman because he already knows that shit aint' right, his homies ain't riding with him on it, and generally what their reaction to him would be if they were to find out.
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This part right here.

My mother was beaten viciously by my stepfather. Shit was so bad they say I jumped in the middle of it several times (all of which I've apparently blocked out). NOBODY knew, not his friends, not family, no one. Aside from us kids only two people knew, my moms best female friend and my godmother 'cause we ended up living with her.

Some shit happened to moms towards the end of '96 and she wound up in the hospital, clinging to her life. My father, my stepfather, my mom's brother, and her male best friend were all in the hospital together and I forget how it came up, but it came out that my stepfather beat her. You could feel the tension in the air after that revelation was made. Obviously my uncle was seething, but my father had known my mother literally all his life and he was ready to go to war, and her best friend knew her since high school. She calmed the situation by telling everyone that she had forgiven him, but it left some lingering feelings about him that only recently have been resolved.
 
Race Jones said:
Im not doubling down Black rain or altering my msg to make others comfortable. sorry.

again, ppl say stop being angry and educate us failing to realize the anger is part of the education.

the fragility here amongst you and your comrades is the issue.

lets unpack that.
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For starters you can't preach accountability for others then reject the same concept once it's applied to you And your own words. That's being an adult and not being a hypocrite. And once again you're showing your failings as not only a communicator but also your ability to take in information. My ego isn't fragile in any way as it relates to this or any of the other issues you talk about. I often agree with you so don't try and go the "I'm gonna talk down to you" shit you do with others. That ain't flying here. You can be angry but your anger is misguided and that only harms your cause not help it.

I never even said for you to alter your message as I said in my initial response that the things you bring up do in fact need to be addressed. There's nothing that needs to be changed there. However until you realize that the delivery of a message matters as much as the message itself then you'll keep getting some of the negative reactions you constantly find thrown your way. It also stops your from seeing easy talking points that not only makes your message more clear but also forces your target audience to engage in a way that encourages the very accountability you say you want.
 
I think the message can be sent without attacking the listener.

Me personally don't mind how something is said depending in the situation.

But this shit here.....If you don't agree, it's OK to debate.
But no need to insult people if they don't agree.
 
DOS_patos said:
I think the message can be sent without attacking the listener.

Me personally don't mind how something is said depending in the situation.

But this shit here.....If you don't agree, it's OK to debate.
But no need to insult people if they don't agree.
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It can be done but the last part of what you said is the problem. People can't disagree without it delving into name calling and all sorts of petty shit.
 
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