Babelipsss
Active Member
You are still giving (excuse me PAYING) $1000. Why do you need to dictate where it's spent? Sounds controlling.
I'm Tryna Be Messy on My Day Off...
- Thread starter shutupGabi
- Start date
You are still giving (excuse me PAYING) $1000. Why do you need to dictate where it's spent? Sounds controlling.
The Lonious Monk
Celestial Souljah
Yeah, I wasn't really talking about child support. Moreso, agreements between parents who haven't taken it to that level. I agree what I'm saying is not as easily applied if the courts are involved, but it should still be possible right? I mean if you have the receipt for paying rent or daycare or something and it comes up to what you were supposed to give in CS, would the court not accept that?
Because it's my money. lol How am I being controlling by spending my money the way I see fit and doing it in a way that protects me and my child's interests? Who exactly is being hurt by the two parents coming to such a mutual agreement?
Babelipsss
Active Member
Because you should contribute to your childs overall life and future. Not just a single issue.
The Lonious Monk
Celestial Souljah
You're acting like you can't do both. I didn't say that contribution should be the only thing you ever give to or do for your child. I'm saying that if there is an expectation for a minimum that should given on a monthly basis, the person who doesn't have custody should pay that through bills as much as possible rather than just handing money to the person who does have custody. That doesn't mean that the parent without custody shouldn't set up a college fund or buy some clothes or pay for an extracurricular activity on top of that. I'm just saying in the context of the discussion of this topic, the complaint the chick in the OP had, which was valid IMO, would never have come up if the guy had just agreed to pay some of those bills rather than agreeing to give her money to be applied to those bills.
the thing is fam, no matter how many times you hear "its about the child"..the reality is, its never about the child
as long as two hurting people have to deal with each other, its about who can get the most out of the situation
at some point, as a man, you just wanna say fuck it and just go along with everything, and even then, thats still not enough. Some women, key, SOME women are hellbent on making life as miserable for you as they perceive theirs to be.
They gonna try to make sure you not gonna try and date anybody, they gonna make sure you cant buy shit for yourself, and just wanna fuck with your mentally just b/c they can
The shit gets expensive af trying to fight it b/c unfortunately, there are some greedy ass lawyers who want nothing but to take as much money from you and take advantage of your pain.
as long as two hurting people have to deal with each other, its about who can get the most out of the situation
at some point, as a man, you just wanna say fuck it and just go along with everything, and even then, thats still not enough. Some women, key, SOME women are hellbent on making life as miserable for you as they perceive theirs to be.
They gonna try to make sure you not gonna try and date anybody, they gonna make sure you cant buy shit for yourself, and just wanna fuck with your mentally just b/c they can
The shit gets expensive af trying to fight it b/c unfortunately, there are some greedy ass lawyers who want nothing but to take as much money from you and take advantage of your pain.
Soul_Rattler
Active Member
Full time amateur prostitutes.
They treat everything as a monetary transaction. Sex for money. Attention for money. Baby for money. Marriage for money. Divorce for money.
We are doomed.
They treat everything as a monetary transaction. Sex for money. Attention for money. Baby for money. Marriage for money. Divorce for money.
We are doomed.
DOS_patos
Unverified Legion of Trill member
exactly.........dudes can step up and just do certain shit rather than trusting she will do it.
thats fuck shit and giving her control and power and then them same dudes complain when she wants to activate the control and power you gave her.
DOS_patos
Unverified Legion of Trill member
not sure how you came to that conclusion with his post
DOS_patos
Unverified Legion of Trill member
but its not micromanaging......its being a parent and thus alleviating all the shit the other parent has to do.
if i pay certain bills....then thats something she doesnt have to account for or budget for which should make things easier for her. and she can focus more on our child.
DOS_patos
Unverified Legion of Trill member
and thats why you should try to get a custody and support agreement before problems happen.
and if the person is trying to make your life miserable...then that should be more of a reason to fight for your child and everything else goes on hold.
sadly this is not the case.
too many dudes want to still live the single life and place their child second.
if a woman is doing shit to stop you from living comfortably thats gonna hurt you and hurt your relationship with your childs as well as how you provide for your child.
so if shes willing to do that....then shes not capable of caring for my child...too much energy going into hurting me when out child can be living their best life.
and yes, things get expensive trying to fight to get shit right....but you have to stand by your decision and responsibility rather than just giving up and giving in and letting her do what she wants. this is why chicks be walking all over dudes....niggas have no balls nor stand up to these women, just take my money and leave me alone ass niggas....
fuck that.
you owe it to your child to have them raised stressed free and not around toxic people.
it only takes a drop of oil to polluted the lake.
1/2
Dont drank out my drank, foo
fear overpowers love
they love them kids mane...some do anyway
but the fear of being ridiculed for appearing broke or not being able to do this or that is much greater than the fear of a bm blasting you for not being a good father
from the outside world anyway
its fucked up but its just real
whats worse to be on the streets? A broke bum w/ no juice and no women or an alleged shitty parent???
I know people that are literally trapped in their image....in their name they've made......they gotta have these jays or niggas gone swear they fell off
i've never even once witnessed a man (of any race, age, or background) stress out about how good of a parent he's perceived to be.....unless its about getting all the kids nice clothes and presents for pics, which still comes down to HIS image
1/2
Dont drank out my drank, foo
fear again...she's not yours anymore and you damn sure aint about to fund her fuck off time with men who are better than you
imagine forking over half your salary to get online and see her and the kid taking trips to places you couldnt afford to take them, with a man who coulda paid for ALL of it and probably did lmao
your responsibility? - yes
nightmare? - also yes
fea-.........i got nothing
me, my brother, and my sister (all on dads side) all had our first kids in the same year, within months
we all got together one day and my brother's mama was like "daaaamn, couldnt nobody pull out?"
I made those statements because they need to be in the discussion.
Niggaz never admit fault in any argument or debate like this, so certain truths need to be put out there for their sake.... Cuz they not self aware enough to discover it on their own.
They too busy being defensive and trying to justify their process.... When at the end of the day it leads to one of those statements I posted.... And a lot of it is motivated by fear
Niggaz never admit fault in any argument or debate like this, so certain truths need to be put out there for their sake.... Cuz they not self aware enough to discover it on their own.
They too busy being defensive and trying to justify their process.... When at the end of the day it leads to one of those statements I posted.... And a lot of it is motivated by fear
fear overpowers love
they love them kids mane...some do anyway
but the fear of being ridiculed for appearing broke or not being able to do this or that is much greater than the fear of a bm blasting you for not being a good father
from the outside world anyway
its fucked up but its just real
whats worse to be on the streets? A broke bum w/ no juice and no women or an alleged shitty parent???
I know people that are literally trapped in their image....in their name they've made......they gotta have these jays or niggas gone swear they fell off
i've never even once witnessed a man (of any race, age, or background) stress out about how good of a parent he's perceived to be.....unless its about getting all the kids nice clothes and presents for pics, which still comes down to HIS image
Niggaz equate money with love.
I could give a fuck less about money. It's nice n all, but that don't move me