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I'm Tryna Be Messy on My Day Off...

shutupGabi said:
I look at it like...if you not the custodial parent and you only paying cs once or twice a month, you can't really say shit unless the kid is tore up/clearly not being taken care of. But if everything else is fine otherwise and homegirl spend a lil on herself here and there, you just gon have to deal. Get joint or full custody if you feel a way about it.
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I totally agree...and here's the problem with alot of these situations.
Its not always about money but a lot of dudes complain and don't do shit..but then a lot of chicks complain about the ain't shit niggas they fuck with.

Even if dude gets custody...can he provide for the child on a daily basis?
Does he want the child on a daily basis?
Shit like this pisses my off because the child suffers. And it starts another cycle.
 
DOS_patos said:
Has nothing to do with my bm...this is more about this situation.
Here's the problem...she knew the dude she was fuckin with.
She know how he was...so why think it would be different when they have a kid?
Dude ain't shit for only giving a little bit...rather than just doing for his kid.
She didn't require him to be a full-time dad and its clear dude aint trynna be a full time dad.

Why give $100 once when you can do more day to day. And if shorty can't get her hair done to provide for the kid....things need to change.
Dude needs to step up if he can't pay more....

But we also don't know the whole story. Only one side.
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This why I said focus...lol cuz ain't no situation. It was a hypothetical question with no background.
 
Fuck all that you wasting money on weave that shit is a lost cause, gone head and rock what god gave you baby

If he's paying support daycare should be factored in that. I'm sure he's not gonna let his kid go without medicine.

At no point should the child money go on the necessities that you yourself need. Food, utilities etc with or without the kid you need those things. Put the kids money into an account and let it build.
 
She has a legitimate point, but you can't expect a guy to see it that way. After all, to a man, his money is his accomplishment. His accomplishments is one of the things that matter the most to a man.

So now, I'm giving you a stake of my accomplishment that you ain't put no work in, in helping me obtain. We are separated, and more than likely ain't seeing eye to eye on shit. So he's already a way that he is forced to give away something you didn't put in, to somebody he don't even want to give it to.

To rationalize it to himself and his ego, it's for his kid. Then you go fuck that up and put it on you. He's gone be hot about that, even though...she makes a good point as to why. If that's how you rocking tho, just make sure when he wit his kI'd, the kid is handed off to him with the standards of what he expect that money to add up to.
 
Sh1t Happens said:
Fuck all that you wasting money on weave that shit is a lost cause, gone head and rock what god gave you baby

If he's paying support daycare should be factored in that. I'm sure he's not gonna let his kid go without medicine.

At no point should the child money go on the necessities that you yourself need. Food, utilities etc with or without the kid you need those things. Put the kids money into an account and let it build.
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Daycare is definitely not always factored into child support.
 
If things care tight for dude.....them she has to save/ sacrifice for the kid knowing dude is tight or struggling.
 
And why she gottavtalk about bit anyway?
Like the hunnid ain't shit...and then what she had to sacrifice to provide for their kid.
As a parent you always gotta be ready to step up if the other patent won't or can't pull their weight.

So..yea she has a point but she's a toxic how. Looking to shit on someone.

And damn the hypotheticals.....I want smoke
 
I don't know what yall talking about but child support is for the child not the mother. I do not agree at all but I know it happens alot.

If you're giving your bm money and she's spending on another nigga and not your kid. Yall going to be cool with that too?
 
Having a bm and not having custody and paying childsupport are my biggest fears.

With that said, if I was in that situation, and the court ordered me to pay a certain amount, as long as my kid is being taken care of properly, i dont care about the specifics.

Now if im paying what im supposed to be paying, and I know its enough, but she spends the money elsewhere and asks me for more talking about the baby needs diapers, ima pissed.
 
Child support some wild shit though.

My boys baby mom works and makes decent money, her husband works and makes decent money, they got joint custody, and he still paying her about $500 a month.

The fact that theres another man around my kid and he benefiting from my money would have me on the edge for real.

Im the most laid back person in the world but id be the most bitter motherfucker in the world in this situation. Id be in court every year trying to get custody.
 
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Lmao. Niggas in here hurt.
I agree with Gabi. If the kid is well taken care of all she essentially doing is offsetting costs. Niggas preach about business and doing better all day but to jaded to understand this lmao. Sad.
 
Sh1t Happens said:
Fuck all that you wasting money on weave that shit is a lost cause, gone head and rock what god gave you baby

If he's paying support daycare should be factored in that. I'm sure he's not gonna let his kid go without medicine.

At no point should the child money go on the necessities that you yourself need. Food, utilities etc with or without the kid you need those things. Put the kids money into an account and let it build.
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Is that realistic tho? Kids are gonna use more utilities and more food than the avg adult cuz they just wasteful like that. Niggas got homework/projects and tests to study for...which means more lights and electricity. They got sports and outside activities, which means more food (plus they leaving the fridge open mad long and shit lol) and more water cuz they probly taking baths/showers twice a day or you washing their clothes more often. Not to mention if they popular so their friends are gon wana come over and destroy your house...

Living on your expenses is already a lot depending on where you live. Add a kid to that and money is gon be tight forever.
 
shutupGabi said:
I look at it like...if you not the custodial parent and you only paying cs once or twice a month, you can't really say shit unless the kid is tore up/clearly not being taken care of. But if everything else is fine otherwise and homegirl spend a lil on herself here and there, you just gon have to deal. Get joint or full custody if you feel a way about it.
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Why should the non-custodial parent have to pay for expenses that have nothing to do with their child?
 
PrecociousMorty said:
She has a legitimate point, but you can't expect a guy to see it that way. After all, to a man, his money is his accomplishment. His accomplishments is one of the things that matter the most to a man.

So now, I'm giving you a stake of my accomplishment that you ain't put no work in, in helping me obtain. We are separated, and more than likely ain't seeing eye to eye on shit. So he's already a way that he is forced to give away something you didn't put in, to somebody he don't even want to give it to.

To rationalize it to himself and his ego, it's for his kid. Then you go fuck that up and put it on you. He's gone be hot about that, even though...she makes a good point as to why. If that's how you rocking tho, just make sure when he wit his kI'd, the kid is handed off to him with the standards of what he expect that money to add up to.
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Buuuuut if he missed his obligation and she covered whats missed when she finally gets paid why not take care of ya stuff.
 
Olorun22 said:
I don't know what yall talking about but child support is for the child not the mother. I do not agree at all but I know it happens alot.

If you're giving your bm money and she's spending on another nigga and not your kid. Yall going to be cool with that too?
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If you not on cs and giving somebody cash money then they can do what they want. You aint got no way to know frfr.
 
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