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Open Relationships

BlackAndWhite said:
I know a guy who is married and he and his wife have an open relationship. I don't remember the exact specifics how it came about but I do remember he said it started out like you said it. They were just looking for a different way to explore their relationship

They are members of a swinger's club and everything. They even go on dates with other people together. He said he had never felt closer to his wife. The only rule I think they have is that I think they don't let the outsiders meet the kids.
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That dating together shit sounds crazy to me lol. Idk if I'd wana even know the person fuckin my s/o, let alone have direct contact with em if I was in that situation.

But I have a lot of respect for couples that buck tradition and make up their own shit. Being adaptive has to guarantee you at least 20 years of a relationship lol
 
Thank u for elaborating Gabi. Makes perfect sense n I like that it doesn't evolve out of hurt most cases.
atribecalledGabi said:
That dating together shit sounds crazy to me lol. Idk if I'd wana even know the person fuckin my s/o, let alone have direct contact with em if I was in that situation.

But I have a lot of respect for couples that buck tradition and make up their own shit. Being adaptive has to guarantee you at least 20 years of a relationship lol
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I LOVE it when ppl embrace who they r n make up their own rules.
 
@Reesey how did you and your husband get to the point you're at now with the openness and honesty?

Does jealousy ever interfere? If yes, how is it addressed and handled?
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
@Reesey how did you and your husband get to the point you're at now with the openness and honesty?

Does jealousy ever interfere? If yes, how is it addressed and handled?
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We were both married previously and learned that Honesty and communication played a big part in the demise of those relationships. We made it a point to put Brutal Honesty and Communication at the forefront of ours.

We were also best friends and lovers. I could tell this man any and everything from who I was feeling while thinking about being in a relationship with him and we would joke about how them other 'fools' wasn't gone make the cut' (his words). lol.

I do not speak for others, but jealousy does not play a factor at all in our relationship because we are both secure in ourselves. I do not have a "she look better than me, her body is hotter than mine' bone in my body, because I am utterly in love with who I am and so is he.

We also know that if ever either of us feel attracted to another that will be a conversation held between the two so there is no reason to feel jealous or insecure. I don't have to worry if he will cheat because we don't HAVE to cheat.

The peace that comes with being in a relationship with someone that you can be your raw, naked unfiltered self with is absolutely amazing. I don't have to sneak or lie, or hide my phone, set passwords, or feel less of a woman because I find attraction in another or if he finds attraction in someone else. 9 times out of 10 I find the women attractive as well. haha.

It takes a certain type of couple/mind to be in a relationship like this though. You really have to shed the 'traditional' western/religious societal stigmas that we were raised with in order to appreciate the infinite LOVE that we have as universal beings. In order to have zero issues with sharing that love with others while being connected to your life partner.
 
Reesey said:
We were both married previously and learned that Honesty and communication played a big part in the demise of those relationships. We made it a point to put Brutal Honesty and Communication at the forefront of ours.

We were also best friends and lovers. I could tell this man any and everything from who I was feeling while thinking about being in a relationship with him and we would joke about how them other 'fools' wasn't gone make the cut' (his words). lol.

I do not speak for others, but jealousy does not play a factor at all in our relationship because we are both secure in ourselves. I do not have a "she look better than me, her body is hotter than mine' bone in my body, because I am utterly in love with who I am and so is he.

We also know that if ever either of us feel attracted to another that will be a conversation held between the two so there is no reason to feel jealous or insecure. I don't have to worry if he will cheat because we don't HAVE to cheat.

The peace that comes with being in a relationship with someone that you can be your raw, naked unfiltered self with is absolutely amazing. I don't have to sneak or lie, or hide my phone, set passwords, or feel less of a woman because I find attraction in another or if he finds attraction in someone else. 9 times out of 10 I find the women attractive as well. haha.

It takes a certain type of couple/mind to be in a relationship like this though. You really have to shed the 'traditional' western/religious societal stigmas that we were raised with in order to appreciate the infinite LOVE that we have as universal beings. In order to have zero issues with sharing that love with others while being connected to your life partner.
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This is truly amazing and inspiring to me. Do you know any single women who think like you? Would you say brutal honesty and communication is the key?

Most of the world will think being brutally honest to your s/o will push them away, not bring them closer. But like you said it takes a certain type of mentality to live like that. Now that I think about it, I don't know if many of us are even brutally honest with ourselves let alone our loved ones. How can I be completely honest with you if I'm not completely honest with myself first?

We could use more women like you in this world Reesey. You ever think about writing a book on free relationships?
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
This is truly amazing and inspiring to me. Do you know any single women who think like you? Would you say brutal honesty and communication is the key?

Most of the world will think being brutally honest to your s/o will push them away, not bring them closer. But like you said it takes a certain type of mentality to live like that. Now that I think about it, I don't know if many of us are even brutally honest with ourselves let alone our loved ones. How can I be completely honest with you if I'm not completely honest with myself first?

We could use more women like you in this world Reesey. You ever think about writing a book on free relationships?
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Yes Brutal honesty and communication is the main key in my experience. As you stated, we must first have to be honest with ourselves before we are able to be honest with anyone else.

Do you know how enlightening that is? It is absolutely AMAZING to look at yourself in the mirror and see "every thing", to trust and believe in yourself to the fullest. Being honest with yourself truly allows for you to mend all wounds, conquer all issues and remove all baggage.

THIS and this alone allows for you to move into a relationship as your true self. Not holding on to "anything" that can potentially ruin a good thing.

I have many friends who think like me, but... they are not single in a traditional way. And to be honest, I don't blame them. Being in a relationship with them is easy. Men tend to lock them up quickly.

I have heard that I should write a book numerous times. Most recently, I have just been speaking at the community center and helping my sex counselor friend out as her apprentice.
Couples Skype my husband and I and we just talk freely.

They share things with us that they don't even tell one another until our sessions. But it has helped them SO much. and if either of them would rather talk to one of us alone, we oblige.

We get so much out of sessions with others as well. It's refreshing and it makes us feel good inside knowing that we made another couple smile that day.

But no... no book yet. I may have to revisit that idea though. Thank you for your encouragement.
 
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Reesey said:
Yes Brutal honesty and communication is the main key in my experience. As you stated, we must first have to be honest with ourselves before we are able to be honest with anyone else.

Do you know how enlightening that is? It is absolutely AMAZING to look at yourself in the mirror and see "every thing", to trust and believe in yourself to the fullest. Being honest with yourself truly allows for you to mend all wounds, conquer all issues and remove all baggage.

THIS and this alone allows for you to move into a relationship as your true self. Not holding on to "anything" that can potentially ruin a good thing.

I have many friends who think like me, but... they are not single in a traditional way. And to be honest, I don't blame them. Being in a relationship with them is easy. Men tend to lock them up quickly.

I have heard that I should write a book numerous times. Most recently, I have just been speaking at the community center and helping my sex counselor friend out as her apprentice.
Couples Skype my husband and I and we just talk freely.

They share things with us that they don't even tell one another until our sessions. But it has helped them SO much. and if either of them would rather talk to one of us alone, we oblige.

We get so much out of sessions with others as well. It's refreshing and it makes us feel good inside knowing that we made another couple smile that day.

But no... no book yet. I may have to revisit that idea though. Thank you for your encouragement.
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:salute:
 
Reesey said:
We were both married previously and learned that Honesty and communication played a big part in the demise of those relationships. We made it a point to put Brutal Honesty and Communication at the forefront of ours.

We were also best friends and lovers. I could tell this man any and everything from who I was feeling while thinking about being in a relationship with him and we would joke about how them other 'fools' wasn't gone make the cut' (his words). lol.

I do not speak for others, but jealousy does not play a factor at all in our relationship because we are both secure in ourselves. I do not have a "she look better than me, her body is hotter than mine' bone in my body, because I am utterly in love with who I am and so is he.

We also know that if ever either of us feel attracted to another that will be a conversation held between the two so there is no reason to feel jealous or insecure. I don't have to worry if he will cheat because we don't HAVE to cheat.

The peace that comes with being in a relationship with someone that you can be your raw, naked unfiltered self with is absolutely amazing. I don't have to sneak or lie, or hide my phone, set passwords, or feel less of a woman because I find attraction in another or if he finds attraction in someone else. 9 times out of 10 I find the women attractive as well. haha.

It takes a certain type of couple/mind to be in a relationship like this though. You really have to shed the 'traditional' western/religious societal stigmas that we were raised with in order to appreciate the infinite LOVE that we have as universal beings. In order to have zero issues with sharing that love with others while being connected to your life partner.
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Reesey said:
Yes Brutal honesty and communication is the main key in my experience. As you stated, we must first have to be honest with ourselves before we are able to be honest with anyone else.

Do you know how enlightening that is? It is absolutely AMAZING to look at yourself in the mirror and see "every thing", to trust and believe in yourself to the fullest. Being honest with yourself truly allows for you to mend all wounds, conquer all issues and remove all baggage.

THIS and this alone allows for you to move into a relationship as your true self. Not holding on to "anything" that can potentially ruin a good thing.

I have many friends who think like me, but... they are not single in a traditional way. And to be honest, I don't blame them. Being in a relationship with them is easy. Men tend to lock them up quickly.

I have heard that I should write a book numerous times. Most recently, I have just been speaking at the community center and helping my sex counselor friend out as her apprentice.
Couples Skype my husband and I and we just talk freely.

They share things with us that they don't even tell one another until our sessions. But it has helped them SO much. and if either of them would rather talk to one of us alone, we oblige.

We get so much out of sessions with others as well. It's refreshing and it makes us feel good inside knowing that we made another couple smile that day.

But no... no book yet. I may have to revisit that idea though. Thank you for your encouragement.
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gifs_01_zps6bilzeqz.gif
 
MissK said:
Lol some of y'all couldn't handle the shit my girl talking about.
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Most of the American population is unfamiliar with free relationships. Are you saying you're this open and brutally honest in your relationships as well? And you don't deal with issues of jealousy or insecurity in your relationships either?
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
Most of the American population is unfamiliar with free relationships. Are you saying you're this open and brutally honest in your relationships as well? And you don't deal with issues of jealousy or insecurity in your relationships either?
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Currently I am not in a relationship.

I will say age has changed my stance on monogamy but I also think it depends on the relationship.

I think alot of people see open as a free get out of jail card and not what Reesey is talking about.

I am not insecure with myself. But for me I don't see a lot of guys actually willing to allow me the freedom to be with other men if that is what I desire. I don't think too many can handle that
 
MissK said:
Currently I am not in a relationship.

I will say age has changed my stance on monogamy but I also think it depends on the relationship.

I think alot of people see open as a free get out of jail card and not what Reesey is talking about.

I am not insecure with myself. But for me I don't see a lot of guys actually willing to allow me the freedom to be with other men if that is what I desire. I don't think too many can handle that
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This is very true. Most men are possessive and can not handle the idea of another man touching what is theirs but are quick to jump at the opportunity to have a 2 woman 1 male 3 some.

That in itself is a different story. haha.
 
MissK said:
Currently I am not in a relationship.

I will say age has changed my stance on monogamy but I also think it depends on the relationship.

I think alot of people see open as a free get out of jail card and not what Reesey is talking about.

I am not insecure with myself. But for me I don't see a lot of guys actually willing to allow me the freedom to be with other men if that is what I desire. I don't think too many can handle that
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Reesey said:
This is very true. Most men are possessive and can not handle the idea of another man touching what is theirs but are quick to jump at the opportunity to have a 2 woman 1 male 3 some.

That in itself is a different story. haha.
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That's the one that gets me, too. It's an awfully convenient line to draw.
 
MissK said:
Currently I am not in a relationship.

I will say age has changed my stance on monogamy but I also think it depends on the relationship.

I think alot of people see open as a free get out of jail card and not what Reesey is talking about.

I am not insecure with myself. But for me I don't see a lot of guys actually willing to allow me the freedom to be with other men if that is what I desire. I don't think too many can handle that
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I've been saying this saying "WOMEN CANT DO WHAT MEN CAN DO" for years but it falls on deaf ears. Most men don't want to share their women, sure they may be cool with her flirting and keekeeing with them. The actual act have Intercourse usually change the mindset of the male in the relationship.

More power to men who's cool with it and no hate but I'm not cool with it at all with my lady doing it. Call me what you want BUT in the same breath if she's cool with me doing it yay me.
 
I know for me I couldn't handle another dude having sex with my woman but I would bring another woman into the bedroom. Like Reesey said, men are territorial. Look at those nature shows where the Lion is the king and he has all those queens and the moment another male set foot trying to invade a fight to the death occurs
 
Cain said:
I've been saying this saying "WOMEN CANT DO WHAT MEN CAN DO" for years but it falls on deaf ears. Most men don't want to share their women, sure they may be cool with her flirting and keekeeing with them. The actual act have Intercourse usually change the mindset of the male in the relationship.

More power to men who's cool with it and no hate but I'm not cool with it at all with my lady doing it. Call me what you want BUT in the same breath if she's cool with me doing it yay me.
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:lmao2: This never fails to get the computers putin'
 
Cain said:
I've been saying this saying "WOMEN CANT DO WHAT MEN CAN DO" for years but it falls on deaf ears. Most men don't want to share their women, sure they may be cool with her flirting and keekeeing with them. The actual act have Intercourse usually change the mindset of the male in the relationship.

More power to men who's cool with it and no hate but I'm not cool with it at all with my lady doing it. Call me what you want BUT in the same breath if she's cool with me doing it yay me.
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To each their own. You won't have to worry about that because women who deal in these circles don't mess with men that don't. ;-)

There is somebody for everybody. ...even you.
 
Exactly what I thought. Nope my man can't have another woman if I can't have another man. Nothing to do with me being jealous, more to do with that man being a mysoginist pig like Cain
 
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