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Women Who Refuse To Take The Man's Last Name After Marriage

NeighborhoodNomad said:
Ladies, how




But how could you call him a bum ass sperm donor if you choose to have that man's child? Hypothetically speaking in your case. Not to take away anything a mother does in incubating and delivering a child, but it's the father is who created those children. For that reason alone children deserve their father's name (even if it's hyphenated with your maiden name).
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You can easily call a deadbeat father a deadbeat father if they're a deadbeat father. Same is true for deadbeat mothers. There's single fathers out there who've had full responsibility of their kids since day one cause mom didn't wanna be a mom or whatever. Father names the baby. Should he have to name the baby whatever first name the mother wants when she ain't about to do shit for the child? Nope. Similarly, a woman about to raise a child on her own, without the father cause he not tryna be a father, shouldn't have to give the child the fathers name. Her name matters more in that case. And what you mean the father creates the child? You been pregnant nikka? Women put in wayyy more work, all the work really. So what are you even saying? And what of women who don't know who the father of their child is? She better give the baby her name. And if ever that child finds out who his father is it'll be a DNA test, not a what's yo last name test. Names are not that serious. What you do for your child is much more relevant.
 
Ring Master said:
i got a question 4 y'all. what do they do if the father has a hyphenated name n the mother wants her kids 2 also have her name? triple hyphenated name 4 the kids?
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I hate to laugh, but this just supports the whole 1 family, 1 name ideology I subscribe to....

I couldn't even begin to deal with something that wacky
 
Idk why it posted audio and not the article smh, but heres part of it

This couple both have hyphenated names
They had a daughter and didn't know what name to give her
So they gave her all of them

"So she and her partner settled on giving their baby three hyphenated names: "Harris-Cronin-Taylor."

But at the last minute, faced with yet again trying to squeeze her own hyphenated names onto a form, Sasha balked.

Instead, their daughter got just one of mom's last names, hyphenated with her dad's, and two middle names."
 
EleanorDeWitt said:
You can easily call a deadbeat father a deadbeat father if they're a deadbeat father. Same is true for deadbeat mothers. There's single fathers out there who've had full responsibility of their kids since day one cause mom didn't wanna be a mom or whatever. Father names the baby. Should he have to name the baby whatever first name the mother wants when she ain't about to do shit for the child? Nope. Similarly, a woman about to raise a child on her own, without the father cause he not tryna be a father, shouldn't have to give the child the fathers name. Her name matters more in that case. And what you mean the father creates the child? You been pregnant nikka? Women put in wayyy more work, all the work really. So what are you even saying? And what of women who don't know who the father of their child is? She better give the baby her name. And if ever that child finds out who his father is it'll be a DNA test, not a what's yo last name test. Names are not that serious. What you do for your child is much more relevant.
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I agree with you on the deadbeat aspect but deadbeat or not the child should have their father's name unless like you said she doesn't know who the father is. But like I said earlier, it's not to take away anything a mother does from pregnancy and on but yes, a father is the creator or progenitor of their children regardless of who's doing the most work. And names are serious. Knowing your origins is necessary in knowing who you are. The name is their history and family tree, along with dna. All of which is important in all of our lives.
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
I agree with you on the deadbeat aspect but deadbeat or not the child should have their father's name unless like you said she doesn't know who the father is. But like I said earlier, it's not to take away anything a mother does from pregnancy and on but yes, a father is the creator or progenitor of their children regardless of who's doing the most work. And names are serious. Knowing your origins is necessary in knowing who you are. The name is their history and family tree, along with dna. All of which is important in all of our lives.
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2 people create a child b. n that child has the heritage of both those people. the dna of both those people. any way u spin it, a child cannot come 2 b without the sperm and the egg. y shld only 1 lineage trump the other? to me, that's like admitting that one person's family history is more important than the other. just as u do not think men who are comfortable with their children having the mother's name respect themselves, I have question the self respect of women who allow the reverse to happen. the only difference is that 1 is culturally accepted.
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
I agree with you on the deadbeat aspect but deadbeat or not the child should have their father's name unless like you said she doesn't know who the father is. But like I said earlier, it's not to take away anything a mother does from pregnancy and on but yes, a father is the creator or progenitor of their children regardless of who's doing the most work. And names are serious. Knowing your origins is necessary in knowing who you are. The name is their history and family tree, along with dna. All of which is important in all of our lives.
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Exactly. So the mothers name and lineage matters too. If names matter that much. Which no they don't. You don't even have to name your child til they start school if you don't want to. That mean that child don't have a heritage/lineage/history/bloodlines/DNA? Noooope sure doesn't. And what about the thousands of years of history where people didn't even have last names? My last name is Spanish Nomad. What I got to do with Spain? Not a damn thing.
 
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My oldest doesn't have my last name, as I got older it stopped mattering to me. Daughter's grow up and most will take the last name of another family when they get married. Now sons will keep their name until the say they die so to me the son last name is the bigger deal.

The DNA and family history doesn't change because they have a different last name
 
@EleanorDeWitt
@Ring Master

One persons name is not more important than another's. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that a child's last name should be their father's. Yes we all have 23 chromosomes from each parent, and both parents dna is what determines the physical and even mental qualities of that child, but the very beginning of that child is the father and that should be acknowledged and honored (if you know who the father is) no matter what the situation is. Yes the mother's name and lineage matter too and should be honored and acknowledged in some way, but the last name should be point to the father.

El, If your maiden last name is Spanish, and you are or latin descent then you're most definitely connected to Spain whether through bloodline or historical events its a part of your story. My last name is french, so either that means the slave masters of my ancestors were french or they were french immigrants, either way my history is now connected to France.

Most of us have names that were given to us or names that are not truly our own, and for that I think creating a new family name might be a good idea, but even if a new family name is decided, that name should still be the same as the father's.
 
Chi-Town B said:
My oldest doesn't have my last name, as I got older it stopped mattering to me. Daughter's grow up and most will take the last name of another family when they get married. Now sons will keep their name until the say they die so to me the son last name is the bigger deal.

The DNA and family history doesn't change because they have a different last name
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History and dna doesn't change with different last names, but the last name is more of an acknowledgement of the beginning of that particular life.
 
I have not gone through this whole thread yet but I did take my exes name and still have it. As mentioned even though not together we are a family unit-makes things like insurance less of a hassle. Also, changing my name back was going to be a pain in the ass and time consuming-also costs money which I didn't know. Only thing I don't like is that his last name is longer than mine so I hate doing my signature lol

I don't think it takes anything away from a woman if she chooses to take the spouses last name and I do understand that there are professional and personal reasons going into the decision. The only thing I don't agree with is a woman choosing not to take it simply because 'she is woman hear her roar'. I mean come on, I never felt a last name meant someone owned me. My daddy didnt and I had his last name.

Edit: my family calls me by my maiden name-they don't like the ex
 
MissK said:
The only thing I don't agree with is a woman choosing not to take it simply because 'she is woman hear her roar'. I mean come on, I never felt a last name meant someone owned me. My daddy didnt and I had his last name.
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can i ask y a woman choosing not to change her name is any more questionable than a woman choosing to do so? cuz it isn't common?
 
BNE said:
can i ask y a woman choosing not to change her name is any more questionable than a woman choosing to do so? cuz it isn't common?
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I am not sure I understand....

I just don't like to see women slap men in the face with no negro I won't take it you don't own me
But I also don't like to see men demand that a woman take it

I believe Zoe Saldana's husband took her last name. I saw a lot of women say he was a pussy for doing this. My sister and her husband use both their last names
 
MissK said:
I am not sure I understand....

I just don't like to see women slap men in the face with no negro I won't take it you don't own me
But I also don't like to see men demand that a woman take it

I believe Zoe Saldana's husband took her last name. I saw a lot of women say he was a pussy for doing this. My sister and her husband use both their last names
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my bad if i misworded it.

if there's a 'wrong reason' not to take a man's name, wld u say there's ever a wrong reason to take ur husband's name? do u personally disagree with any of the reason's for taking a man's name upon marriage, basically? out of interest

edit: do u mean ur sister n her husband hyphenated both their names together, or they each kept their birth names?
 
BNE said:
my bad if i misworded it.

if there's a 'wrong reason' not to take a man's name, wld u say there's ever a wrong reason to take ur husband's name? do u personally disagree with any of the reason's for taking a man's name upon marriage, basically? out of interest

edit: do u mean ur sister n her husband hyphenated both their names together, or they each kept their birth names?
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Okay I have not finished my coffee yet and it's raining so forgive me lol. I might have jumbled my words too.

I don't think there is a wrong reason for taking it. Despite being fairly forward thinking I have pretty traditional values when it comes to marriage and gender roles-this is due to my upbringing. I guess I just always assumed that was what women did since I never grew up knowing a woman who did not change her name. To be clear I don't have a problem either way, it's a personal choice for many different reasons. If I were to marry again I think I would still change my name to his. I don't view it as ownership but then again maybe it is a silly tradition.

Yes they hyphenate their names-both her and him. I don't think my sister would have taken his last name but she is much more dominate in personality than I am and even more than he is.
 
MissK said:
Okay I have not finished my coffee yet and it's raining so forgive me lol. I might have jumbled my words too.

I don't think there is a wrong reason for taking it. Despite being fairly forward thinking I have pretty traditional values when it comes to marriage and gender roles-this is due to my upbringing. I guess I just always assumed that was what women did since I never grew up knowing a woman who did not change her name. To be clear I don't have a problem either way, it's a personal choice for many different reasons. If I were to marry again I think I would still change my name to his. I don't view it as ownership but then again maybe it is a silly tradition.

Yes they hyphenate their names-both her and him. I don't think my sister would have taken his last name but she is much more dominate in personality than I am and even more than he is.
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Makes perfect sense. Retaining traditional values bout gender roles n marriage due to upbringing isn't unexpected (or wrong). do u.

slightly off topic but ur sis still altered her name n merged her name with his tho, that's pretty compromising for someone with a dominant personality. i cldn't do it n my personality can't be considered dominating lol.
 
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