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When is it okay to open up to your woman?

AP2.5 said:
No

The thread premise is about men not opening up in fear it will be weaponized against them later when the woman gets mad
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Opening up what though?

Thats the shit im wondering.

Lets say my ex cheated on me and now I have a hard time trusting. Is that im supposed to open up on?

Idk man. Maybe i just have some pscyhopathic symptoms. Cause im really not understanding what I'm supposed to be opening up with.

Lets say my dad beat me growing up and I have trauma. Is it that type of shit?

Im not trying to downplay it. But this convo is weird.

What are women saying men should open up about that men are saying they dont trust them to do so.

None of these examples I gave relate to me. But as for me, whatever trauma I do have, that shit burried like a mfer and never surfaces. I dont think about it and it doesnt impact my life. It never even crosses my mind to talk about them with anyone, and thats not a conscious decision.

I think we as men dont have that need for the most part and its not anyones fault.
 
I dont want this to sound like im down on therapy.

Im talking bout shit in the sense that if it doesnt bother you and is impacting your life, why talk about the shit? Leave that shit buried, share it with no one. Shit feels natural as fuck.

Im very pro therapy though. If you got some shit on your mind or in your heart and feels like its impacting how youre living and your happiness, please reach out and find a therapist to talk too.

We all get 1 life, use every oppurtunity and tool at your hands to enjoy yours.
 
AZTG said:
Opening up what though?

Thats the shit im wondering.

Lets say my ex cheated on me and now I have a hard time trusting. Is that im supposed to open up on?

Idk man. Maybe i just have some pscyhopathic symptoms. Cause im really not understanding what I'm supposed to be opening up with.

Lets say my dad beat me growing up and I have trauma. Is it that type of shit?

Im not trying to downplay it. But this convo is weird.

What are women saying men should open up about that men are saying they dont trust them to do so.

None of these examples I gave relate to me. But as for me, whatever trauma I do have, that shit burried like a mfer and never surfaces. I dont think about it and it doesnt impact my life. It never even crosses my mind to talk about them with anyone, and thats not a conscious decision.

I think we as men dont have that need for the most part and its not anyones fault.
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You're assuming everyone operates like you do and thats a faulty premise.
 
BlackRain said:
You're assuming everyone operates like you do and thats a faulty premise.
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Im with you. Thats always a faulty premise and I dont deny that.

Thats the issue with all thse convos. We all assume. Thats why experiments supposed to have controls and more than 1 subject.

In all my posts I said I dont want to speak for all men. I just figured most operate like I do.

Im cool with being wrong in that.

Maybe im the minority
 
SeaSnake said:
Well why aren’t we pushing for this we know mental health in general is lacking but we have to make people care. Men should be able to open up to other men. But how do we do that. How do we not view it as soft. A lot of the safe spaces for women were created by women or made in a time when women’s domestic rights were real low.


I think we have to keep it real it’s something in society that says a man opening up is a bitch. I don’t think my generation made that or yours or even our parents. It is a lot of hurdles for black men and women with health period. So I don’t think we are always as equipped to deal with the levels of trauma. So even when we try and be a safe space it may not be good for your mental health either.
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That's what that whole MRA movement was trying to do: They were pushing for these things to be put in place but no one took them seriously. These days when you say "Men's Rights Advocate" people automatically equate them to incels so there's really no where to go with it, at least for the time being.

I think that as you age, you start to look at things differently and are more open to your boys coming to you with their problems and vice-versa. I've heard convos between my pops and his friends and some of the shit could get kinda heavy, not too heavy 'cause I was around 'em but at least it's something I saw. And it's something we can all do, just speak to your boy like "aye, you good? I mean good-good" and take the convo from there. You might be surprised to know your ace got a lot of the same shit going on as you do, so it makes sense to talk to each other about the shit.

Might not always have answers, but it's a start.
 
Lol, I wish the fuck my wife would use my feelings against me....

That shit wild....
 
Man I just read thru this thread....

Y'all niggaz be going thru it... Sheesh..

Basically it's like this... You are who you are. If you emotional... Embrace it and be that person.. if you're not.. same thing.. stop trying to put on a front to who you are as a person.. claim your self.

Cuz whenever you are going thru something, you should always have a lane to speak from the heart. But the only time that shit would create static is if that vulnerable part of you is some shit you never showed from day 1.

My entire personality is very transparent. I'm known to be very passionate, emotionally, sometimes moody. I can be angry, happy, laid back... Hella energetic... introverted and also extraverted....I always keep it 100 to how I am, and how I feel.... So when I express my emotions about some shit.... Nobody is like "oh this nigga soft".... Cuz I've carved out a lane for myself where no matter what I say... Everybody knows I'm consistently keeping that shit as real as it can be.

I think ultimately it comes down to confidence. I'm confident in my consistency. I'm always me.. it don't matter if I'm crying or laughing... It ain't for nobody but me. I don't put on fronts for nobody
 
5th Letter said:
Well there are plenty of lions that wouldn’t maul me either. Don’t meant I’m about wander in their den…
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Well yeah...you can reasonably avoid lions altogether for your entire life if you so choose. You can't reasonably avoid dealing with women. Well...maybe YOU can. But I can't. Lol.
 
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And when it comes to dumping your emotions out to another party how much do they have to accept? Not just related to this topic but relationships in general.
 
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