Tayboo
There she go🥰
That support didn't magically appear though. The resources available to women now were created when women started to talk about their experiences. The beginning of any sort of societal change starts when people speak out...
When is it okay to open up to your woman?
- Thread starter 5th Letter
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There's that...and if you do wanna open it up to society as a whole...who is majority in control of making the decions on where these resources go?
Right
There are men who refuse to talk to therapists but I'm supposed to believe THOSE same men would even entertain other mental health resources?
Your mate is part of society. Your mate will be more influenced by society than she is by you, just like a child will eventually be more influenced by society than their parents. If society doesn't value you for you and not what you do, why would you think she will?
If society doesn't provide resources for you, because society doesn't value your specific hurdles and tribulations as man, why do you thinks she'll have any idea of how to handle your emotions and problems in a productive manner.
Because she loves you? Lol.
Think about it, women have nationwide women's shelters, women's health, women's professional groups.
All these institutions influence individual men on how to handle women's problems. It influences how we think about women. Men don't have these things because society has decided that we don't need them. We supposed to brave the world on our own.
So when you come to your wife or girlfriend with a problem, sure she might smile and say the right things but deep down inside, she'll gonna think, "Damn, how can I depend on him, if he can't handle this?"
In her world, she is supposed to receive support and have institutions and people to turn to when she has a problem. A man is supposed to model that for women.
(Like I said before, if you are an average guy, your life to most people really isn't that complicated and problematic. If you are Chris Brown, a woman will understand why you stalk women and beat up Rihanna. Men with talent, status and power have the privilege of being complicated )
Then lol, your dumbass think you made a connection or whatever, and you keep leaning on her and next thing you know she's getting her back blown out by the motherfucker that don't say shit and act like everything is fine. He ain't foolish enough to go blab about his problems to a woman he wanna fuck and be with. He blabs to women that don't get his dick hard.
He's stable, reassuring, unwavering compared to you. He has a chiseled jaw and an S on his chest and you are just a fucking mess. That's the reality.
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konceptjones
The one between three and three.
Right, and again I don't want to push too far into that MRA territory, but I gotta use them to make this point: When men started to talk about their experiences and found that many of us were in the same boat, and then they started to make these issues known by disseminating that information how did the general public react to it???
"y'all soft... man the fuck up".
Or they were demonized, characterized as wannabe Elliot Rogers, incels, *Chan members, etc and not worthy of taking seriously. (Not that some of their rhetoric helped, they kinda shot themselves in the foot by not silencing the extremists in their ranks.)
Maybe if a more moderate movement arises to bring to light men's issues it can be taken more seriously.
The support appeared because men have always valued women intrinsically and men have always been perceived as a threat to women and children. Plus, it was politically motivated. We are talking about upper middle class to elite women advocating on behalf of all women to upper middle class to elite men. Feminism was White women saying, "We've been here, you need to recognize us."
Men do have men's groups but if they aren't centered around men being the oppressor of men and men needing to be better for women and children, then they don't get funding, they don't get grants and they get mocked. The men's groups that do, suck advocating for men because they focus too much on men's relationship to women.
It's no different when young Black men on the edge of death or incarceration finally get a chance to talk about their issues, and it somehow starts being about what they can do for the "community". I was at the Million Man March, the shit didn't work.
Lol, like even the concerns women have regarding men is because they started having sons and realized that their boy will have absolutely no chance compared to girls in school. Or they are 34, college educated, making six figures realized that there isn't a lot of men of similar status. There aren't men like their fathers and grandfathers, accomplished, hard charging and dignified.
It took about 100 years but humanity will have a world where men are practically useless for most things. Worldwide, men aren't going to college, getting careers and etc. Women are. Women are gonna run the world. It's gonna be interesting, I ain't gonna be here to see it.
I wouldn't go that far. I do think men would entertain other avenues outside of therapy if given a genuine chance. But the problem is until there is a truly honest discussion on how we as men hold each other back by the way we react to other men showing emotions then it's always going to be an issue. There's alot of things in society that contribute to men's poor mental health...and sometimes we can be our own worst enemy as part of that equation
Fair
Mister B.
The Devil’s Greatest Advocate…..
I guess it’s OK if you’re married, but that shit has to come in spurts, and it should NEVER be financially related.
Unless you’re telling her about some physical condition - and that shit better be near-heart attack or sciatica - you’re better off keeping that shit to yourself.
Unless you’re telling her about some physical condition - and that shit better be near-heart attack or sciatica - you’re better off keeping that shit to yourself.
WHAT?!?!
Why wouldn't you talk about financials with your partner?
AZTG
OG
Im late to the convo and just read some posts here and there so this might have been said already.
To me its not just dont ever open to a woman, as a man, i have shit I dont open to anyone about. Not friends, wife, or family.
And its not some shit like man I have these things that weigh on my mind and wish I had someone to share them with.
That need to share doesnt exist. I dont want to speak for all men, but alot of us are like this.
We have to remember that our brains are wired differently.
Alot of us just dont have that need to share out deepest thoughts, fears, and insecurities with anyone. Its how we are by nature.
So when women or even some other men act like its a bad thing we dont share, its not really the case. Alot of us never had the want or need to share shit and it doesnt even occur to us to do so, so were not missing anything.
Its really not as deep as women failed us, or other men failed us, its more like hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and natural selection removed that need from alot of us.
To me its not just dont ever open to a woman, as a man, i have shit I dont open to anyone about. Not friends, wife, or family.
And its not some shit like man I have these things that weigh on my mind and wish I had someone to share them with.
That need to share doesnt exist. I dont want to speak for all men, but alot of us are like this.
We have to remember that our brains are wired differently.
Alot of us just dont have that need to share out deepest thoughts, fears, and insecurities with anyone. Its how we are by nature.
So when women or even some other men act like its a bad thing we dont share, its not really the case. Alot of us never had the want or need to share shit and it doesnt even occur to us to do so, so were not missing anything.
Its really not as deep as women failed us, or other men failed us, its more like hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and natural selection removed that need from alot of us.
Let OJ explain it to y’all.
SeaSnake
OG
Well why aren’t we pushing for this we know mental health in general is lacking but we have to make people care. Men should be able to open up to other men. But how do we do that. How do we not view it as soft. A lot of the safe spaces for women were created by women or made in a time when women’s domestic rights were real low.
I think we have to keep it real it’s something in society that says a man opening up is a bitch. I don’t think my generation made that or yours or even our parents. It is a lot of hurdles for black men and women with health period. So I don’t think we are always as equipped to deal with the levels of trauma. So even when we try and be a safe space it may not be good for your mental health either.
loud-ninja
Here to point out the illogical
It's more so the people that hold things in knowing it is bothering them. When someone is bothered, their mood will be different towards others in a negative way. If the guy choses not top seek help for what ever is obviously bothering them, that is on them. Cant help if they dont want to be helped.
AZTG
OG
Fam is that what were talking about though?
Is this some shit where men are pissed off at how their girl talked to them over someshit and wont talk to her about it and now hes holding it in and acting weird? Cause if so, 7 pages over this is wild. Let your girl know you dont like that shit and if yall cant figure it out, move on.
My post is for someshit like If I got this deep seeded resentment or insecurity or fear and I dont share that with no one.
The second shit, I dont even have a need to share and its not cause im worried bout a womans reaction, its cause by nature im able to put the shit out of mind and not have it cripple my life or thoughts. And I do that as naturally as breathing. Again not talking bout all men, but alot of us are this way. Its our nature and brain wiring. Not cause we've been failed by anyone.
For the other shit, if something someome did bothered you, tell him cut it out and take appropriate action based on if they do or not.
No
The thread premise is about men not opening up in fear it will be weaponized against them later when the woman gets mad