Should kids be free to express themselves through style?

BNE said:
Then why did u bring it up? What place or relevance did it have in the thread?

I don't have a peer approach to parenting n there's no evidence to suggest @Race Jones does either. That's a reach to characterize anyone who disagrees with you as subscribing to an opposite extreme.
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like I said CUT THE SHIT b...

didnt say all parents...just some, hell I think I may have said a lot...and I say that because I have firsthand, realtime experience love...

I work with teenagers and kids everyday...

I see the effects of peer based parenting firsthand...so thats where that statement derives from.
 
Cain said:
Don't go there bro.

African traditions is a beautiful thing IN AFRICA but CAIN MARKO'S TRADITON is in my house you're going to follow my rules. When he has his house he can do WTF he wants to do.
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Just saying




:wecool:
 
Dupacalypse said:
naw, leave my mind alone.

I like it here...it's where i live.
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we all are learning and unlearning.

I mean that should be the goal for all of us as a people.

you arent growing if you aint constantly feeding your mind.
reading books, watching documentaries* etc.

cant be thinking the same tired shit you were thinking last year.

thats a sign you arent evolving.

again,
expand yo mind DU!!!!
 
Race Jones said:
I think people have such a limited world view.

I also think Black people are under some type of colonial neurosis in this country

White people have you buying into gender hierarchies and heterosexist ideas.

They taught you to think in a very basic, limiting way.

They taught you such rigid ideas when it comes to masculinity and femininity.

Your son isnt about to put on some skinny jeans and WAHLA magic now hes sucking dick behind the bleachers

thats not how any of this shit works.
plus there's nothing you can do as a parent to stop your child from being what they are (gay, trans, etc)

so all these restrictions are really unnecessary.

your parenting skills are steeped in homophobia.
and thats so wack to me.

Read about pre-colonial Africa.
alot of your views are tied to westernized thinking.

youre not as *woke* as you think
.....in fact you sound like white men.
DECOLONIZE YO MIND MY NIGGA.
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Ayo.......Fuck all that African shit b. I'm in NC raising a black boy to be a man. Not some twinkle toed fuck nigga. When is a man and own his on he can do whatever the fuck he wants but under my roof he's going to dress a certain way, get A's and B's go to college, then after that fuck it.
 
Y'all goofy ass let lil man-man dress up like a fuck nigga got my migraine hurting even more. Please KYS's first chance you get


@themasterkey get your girls b
 
Cain said:
Ayo.......Fuck all that African shit b. I'm in NC raising a black boy to be a man. Not some twinkle toed fuck nigga. When is a man and own his on he can do whatever the fuck he wants but under my roof he's going to dress a certain way, get A's and B's go to college, then after that fuck it.
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giphy.gif
 
Dead @ "DECOLONIZE YO MIND MY NIGGA."

Preach guhl! I agree with most of your views, just not all.

I will not force a culture foreign to them at this time to try and combat the idiots that kidnapped us. No more than I would force them to go to church or become a christian or select a doctrine/religion.

That would make them extremely uncomfortable at this point and will confuse them more than assist.

The best thing you can do if give them the knowledge, teach them of themselves. Provide as much material and history as possible to allow them to grow into the KNOW all on their own and from there they are consciously making the decision to profess the love and confidence they have for themselves as African Men/Women.

Allowing them the freedom to become who they want to be through TIME. I express TIME because there is a stage in a child's life where they are too young to make life decisions and for whatever reason folks are allowing them to do so now a days. smh... just ignorant.

during that period of time, you are there as a parent to guide them in a direction that YOU believe to be conducive to their success here or anywhere.
I will not allow you to get a tattoo on your face at 14 nor will I allow you to throw on a dress or wear skinny jeans. ... To what benefit is this?
 
Cain said:
Ayo.......Fuck all that African shit b. I'm in NC raising a black boy to be a man. Not some twinkle toed fuck nigga. When is a man and own his on he can do whatever the fuck he wants but under my roof he's going to dress a certain way, get A's and B's go to college, then after that fuck it.
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are you raising your son to be a man or just not to be a woman?
 
Dupacalypse said:
naw, leave my mind alone.

I like it here...it's where i live.
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you grow on what you chose to feed yourself with.....

if i deem something interesting enough i'll feed my mind..... but i'm not going to feed it with what i consider poison to everything else that's in there....

like i said i'm open minded to tons of shit..... but when it comes to how my son dresses.....that's not gonna be messed with
 
Reesey said:
Dead @ "DECOLONIZE YO MIND MY NIGGA."

Preach guhl! I agree with most of your views, just not all.

I will not force a culture foreign to them at this time to try and combat the idiots that kidnapped us. No more than I would force them to go to church or become a christian or select a doctrine/religion.

That would make them extremely uncomfortable at this point and will confuse them more than assist.

The best thing you can do if give them the knowledge, teach them of themselves. Provide as much material and history as possible to allow them to grow into the KNOW all on their own and from there they are consciously making the decision to profess the love and confidence they have for themselves as African Men/Women.

Allowing them the freedom to become who they want to be through TIME. I express TIME because there is a stage in a child's life where they are too young to make life decisions and for whatever reason folks are allowing them to do so now a days. smh... just ignorant.

during that period of time, you are there as a parent to guide them in a direction that YOU believe to be conducive to their success here or anywhere.
I will not allow you to get a tattoo on your face at 14 nor will I allow you to throw on a dress or wear skinny jeans. ... To what benefit is this?
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But Reesy my love.... hold on now.

you said yourself you call your kids African.
This is for a specific reason, am I right?

shouldn't they be learning about Africa?
the culture wouldn't be foreign if they were taught about it
especially from a standpoint that doesn't focus on colonial ideas.
 
BNE said:
Where do Cain Marko's aesthetic traditions come from, pray tell? Let's go way back why don't we.


Those cultures aren't more liberal than others. They're adhering to their traditions without the intervention of western (eurocentric) notions.

Trousers/pants weren't customary in many African cultures until European colonial intervention. Black people followed our own customs until they were stolen from us and we were brought to the USA. Now you say pre-Western customs are irrelevant because your masculinity exists in the vacuum of a USA context, while divorcing it from it's origins. Which is cool but call it what it is. Eurocentric and westernized.

Y'all are associating anything that deviates from your idea of masculinity with whiteness or anti-blackness or anti-black masculinity, when if we're gonna be discussing black masculinity period u can't be ignorant to the fact that black people were existing outside of the USA far longer than we were within it.
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and again all this shit you talking about is fucking awesome...just great....i am culturally aware...ive been to many different countries and regions of the world in my lifetime...I read about different cultures and customs and again its awesome

however boo, here in the US where we live...that shit is irrelevant...

American culture defines masculinity as something different than the tribes in Africa...than the Muslims in the Middle East, than the Asian cultures. I respect the fuck outta that...


Yes...we as black folk were stolen and completely disconnected from our origin culture.

but over the years we as Black Americans have created our own unique culture, customs and identity...shit that process is still ongoing. The Black American culture is a gumbo of many influences...INCLUDING eurocentric ones...

So is Black American culture corrupted or flawed because there are heavy eurocentric influences? (This could be a thread on its own)
 
Dupacalypse said:
you grow on what you chose to feed yourself with.....

if i deem something interesting enough i'll feed my mind..... but i'm not going to feed it with what i consider poison to everything else that's in there....

like i said i'm open minded to tons of shit..... but when it comes to how my son dresses.....that's not gonna be messed with
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Ok du.

Im certain you have held these same, rigid views for years.

:df3:
 
Race Jones said:
are you raising your son to be a man or just not to be a woman?
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Nigga shut yo goofy ass up (first thing came to mind)


You muthafuckas kill me with this back to Africa free yo mind Envouge monkey ass shit.

Your little black boys that you're raising or will raise are under attack by the powers that be. They don't have the same luxury to walk around like little Timmy. I raise my son to be a black MAN not a feminist, feminine or soft. He is a musician and he expresses himself through his art and gifts.

But in no fucking way will he be allowed to walk around in my house self emasculated. He will feed the way I SEE FIT he will not be under the fantasy umbrella that wanting to dress like a clown is cool because so and so did it. Again not in my house, when he buy his own house again he do whatever the fuck he wants. Until then he will, learn to be a man, treat a woman like a queen, learn about financial success, be straight A student and how to navigate in a system that is focused on destroying you. So in other words I am going to raise him strictly and stearn on being a Man. There is no exceptions or excuses ever.
 
BDP said:
and again all this shit you talking about is fucking awesome...just great....i am culturally aware...ive been to many different countries and regions of the world in my lifetime...I read about different cultures and customs and again its awesome

however boo, here in the US where we live...that shit is irrelevant...

American culture defines masculinity as something different than the tribes in Africa...than the Muslims in the Middle East, than the Asian cultures. I respect the fuck outta that...


Yes...we as black folk were stolen and completely disconnected from our origin culture.

but over the years we as Black Americans have created our own unique culture, customs and identity...shit that process is still ongoing. The Black American culture is a gumbo of many influences...INCLUDING eurocentric ones...

So is Black American culture corrupted or flawed because there are heavy eurocentric influences? (This could be a thread on its own)
Click to expand...



But why are you buying into westernized ideas as a Black man?

haven't we been exploited enough?

at the very least we should work to control our images and narratives.

fuck it....

work to create our own ideas and concepts!!!!

or at least study and challenge the ideas and concepts we had before white interference.

I mean you out here saying because we live in America and had our entire identity stripped away from us, we have no control on what we choose to aspire and subscribe to.

thats crazy as hell.
 
Race Jones said:
Ok du.

Im certain you have held these same, rigid views for years.

:df3:
Click to expand...
i read, i evolve, i change, i mature.....but i also have a choice in many of the things i expose myself to....
there are plenty of things i just have no desire in experiencing.....

i tell people all the time... from what i hear, that first high of heroin is amazing......still not trying it

nor will i try any hard drugs......

people try to tell me skiing is awesome, as is water jetting......nope...double nope.....


motherfuckers love wild animals b,....people wanna pet and rub up on tigers n shit.....hold little baby bears...


nope, nope,nope.....

we all have our things.... i might try a new food.....hop in a hot air balloon.....and i'm constantly reading.....

but they was tryna get me to do one of those men in heels walks once......
:smh:

gotta know your limitations......

i am very self aware.....i am not still trying to discover who i am.....i know exactly what i'll try and what i won't......

and my son.....when it comes to his clothes and his hair.......
:uk: don't do it.....
 
Cain said:
Nigga shut yo goofy ass up (first thing came to mind)


You muthafuckas kill me with this back to Africa free yo mind Envouge monkey ass shit.

Your little black boys that you're raising or will raise are under attack by the powers that be. They don't have the same luxury to walk around like little Timmy. I raise my son to be a black MAN not a feminist, feminine or soft. He is a musician and he expresses himself through his art and gifts.

But in no fucking way will he be allowed to walk around in my house self emasculated. He will feed the way I SEE FIT he will not be under the fantasy umbrella that wanting to dress like a clown is cool because so and so did it. Again not in my house, when he buy his own house again he do whatever the fuck he wants. Until then he will, learn to be a man, treat a woman like a queen, learn about financial success, be straight A student and how to navigate in a system that is focused on destroying you. So in other words I am going to raise him strictly and stearn on being a Man. There is no exceptions or excuses ever.
Click to expand...
giphy.gif
 
Race Jones said:
But Reesy my love.... hold on now.

you said yourself you call your kids African.
This is for a specific reason, am I right?

shouldn't they be learning about Africa?
the culture wouldn't be foreign if they were taught about it
especially from a standpoint that doesn't focus on colonial ideas.
Click to expand...


You are correct! and i did state that I teach them, give them the knowledge and supply them with as much literature as possible. Perhaps I didn't make it clear I was referring to Africa/African Culture. My bad love.

Although, they are learning and have been for sometime.. they are not at the point as of yet to feel comfortable grabbing a hold of "one" of a thousand different cultural practices.

We can learn about many tribes, but which ONE are YOU from? Which one should we internalize and live our lives by and how would we know we are not just choosing a random one because it sounds cool?

Not all tribal men wear dresses, not all tribes wear clothes, not all are in tribes, etc see what I mean? we can teach them the broad spectrum of Africa and where they came from as a continent but that's about it unless you are lucky enough to know where in this VAST gorgeous hunk of perfection you derive from.

So.. they are here, living in western culture, slowly becoming comfortable with what they are learning about their own. And i will allow them to choose as they mature, but at this point in life. they are not of the age to choose, tattoo or dress, skinny jeans or tongue ring, GENDER or free bleeding/flowing.

*those last two are a whole nother story haha.
 
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They can express themselves when they contribute to their well-being or either out of my house, which ever comes first. My boys will not be wearing lipstick, dresses, or heels. Sorry, not sorry.
 
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