Mom of Girl Kidnapped 20 Years Ago Says She Wishes Cops Never Found Her

[deadeye]

you cant say shes better off without her. its not her fault all this happened. yet she being blamed for how she is reacting.

You're looking at it from the mother's perspective, but the bolded is exactly how the mother is treating her daughter.


Which is why I think the daughter is better off without her.


As bad as this sounds, it would be a lot easier for the daughter to embrace her biological mother if the woman who kidnapped her was a horrible mother who subjected her to years of abuse/neglect/trauma and didn't show her any love.


However, that obviously wasn't the case


From all accounts, her daughter grew up in a loving household.


Bottom line, the mother and daughter are in need of group therapy.


The mother more than the daughter because she needs to get a better understanding of her daughter's perspective.


Based on the video, Iyanla is definitely not the one who should be facilitating this.

 

[Golden]

but aint it interesting that the real mother is being called selfish in this same thread

selfish for taking it out on the daughter, not for experiencing the trauma of having her child snatched away. the child isn't to blame for having adapted to her circumstances.

you're imagining wrong. don't imagine having your child snatched away, imagine finding out, right now, that the person you know as your mother kidnapped you when you were a newborn. then claim you wouldn't still view them as your mother a few months from now.

the young woman shouldn't be vilified for that, nor should her bio mother go to the media saying she's deleted her number. distasteful as fuck.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

which i am sure she will. eventually.

its going to take a looooooong time.
so right now we cant say shes not a good mother...shes a hurt and very damaged mother who cant see or hear shit nobody gotta say and the fact her child dont see her as her mother......i say since she didnt physically hurt someone or turn into an addict....shit, she doing good.

To be clear, I'm not saying she isn't a good mother. I'm saying these particular actions are not an example of good mothering. As parents, good or bad, we're all are in the wrong some times.

 

[DOS_patos]

You're looking at it from the mother's perspective, but the bolded is exactly how the mother is treating her daughter.


Which is why I think the daughter is better off without her.


As bad as this sounds, it would be a lot easier for the daughter to embrace her biological mother if the woman who kidnapped her was a horrible mother who subjected her to years of abuse/neglect/trauma and didn't show her any love.


However, that obviously wasn't the case


From all accounts, her daughter grew up in a loving household.


Bottom line, the mother and daughter are in need of group therapy.


The mother more than the daughter because she needs to get a better understanding of her daughter's perspective.


Based on the video, Iyanla is definitely not the one who should be facilitating this.

iyanla aint never the one....her shit be fucked up alot. i watch her shit with wifey...she terrible.

i been said they both need help. alot of it.

the daughter because he mind was poisoned with lies.
the mother because of the life she lost out on. i dont the mother cares about the daughters perspective. not saying its good...but i understand. they stole you from me....how you love them more than me. type of thing.

 

[Golden]

i dont the mother cares about the daughters perspective.

she shouldn't be around her until she does.

 

[DOS_patos]

selfish for taking it out on the daughter, not for experiencing the trauma of having her child snatched away. the child isn't to blame for having adapted to her circumstances.

you're imagining wrong. don't imagine having your child snatched away, imagine finding out, right now, that the person you know as your mother kidnapped you when you were a newborn. then claim you wouldn't still view them as your mother a few months from now.

the young woman shouldn't be vilified for that, nor should her bio mother go to the media saying she's deleted her number. distasteful as fuck.

i never said the daughter should be vilified. i said i can understand the mother. i can understand her anger growing more as shes pushing her daughter away and as her daughter moves away from her.

if anything.....me personally....i would rather this girl get the help she needs without the kidnapper in the picture.
the mother needs help or shes going to lose it.....how you lose a child twice? once when you didnt know and again while watching her slowly move away and call someone else mom.

 

[Chi-Town B]

i never said the daughter should be vilified. i said i can understand the mother. i can understand her anger growing more as shes pushing her daughter away and as her daughter moves away from her.

if anything.....me personally....i would rather this girl get the help she needs without the kidnapper in the picture.
the mother needs help or shes going to lose it.....how you lose a child twice? once when you didnt know and again while watching her slowly move away and call someone else mom.

That's the thing, birth mom gotta stop pushing for a mother/daughter relationship. She's saying my way or the highway and that's probably why the young woman is pushing away.

 

[deadeye]

she shouldn't be around her until she does.

Exactly.


The mother's treating her daughter like she's a piece of property.

 

[DOS_patos]

selfish for taking it out on the daughter, not for experiencing the trauma of having her child snatched away. the child isn't to blame for having adapted to her circumstances.

you're imagining wrong. don't imagine having your child snatched away, imagine finding out, right now, that the person you know as your mother kidnapped you when you were a newborn. then claim you wouldn't still view them as your mother a few months from now.

the young woman shouldn't be vilified for that, nor should her bio mother go to the media saying she's deleted her number. distasteful as fuck.

right now...you cant call this woman selfish.

maybe blind with rage and some what irrational....but selfish?

she didnt ask for none of this. all she wanted was her child.
now that she has that....her child doesnt accept her as a mother..

while i am not sure how long they been in contact ...we dont know if she tried to slow move type of thing and got fed up with hearing "mother" being meant for a person who destroyed two lives.

we are assuming she didnt try the slow grow approach.

but my whole approach has been from the mothers point of view and how she could have felt or feel.

the daughter feels how she feels....she may just want a sense of normalcy so thats what she is latching onto. wrong or right...shes confused and its alot to process for her no matter her age.

but the other family needs to stay way...fuck their influence. fuck the kidnappers feelings.

as for me putting myself in the daughters position.....i process different than most people., i think we all would handle things different than what we say we would do.

 

[deadeye]

i dont think the mother cares about the daughters perspective.

And therein lies the problem.

 

[konceptjones]

but aint it interesting that the real mother is being called selfish in this same thread

because she is.

Right now the only person that matters is Kamiyah. Both women need to take a step back and give her time to sort this out for herself. Birth mother is pushing her to hard to just drop the last 19 years and love her, but that ain't realistic. What's probably complicating this further is the fact that she's developing a relationship with her birth father and his family, so moms sees that and is now jealous. But she has to remember, the one thing always missing from her life was a father, now she has one so that's a relationship she can build from scratch. She can't just do that with her birth mother and that's got her pissed.

 

[Kzzl]

After 20 years of a successful kidnapping, the damage is done. The fake mom is her mom now. That bond cannot be undone and forcing it is just going to make things work. Lock the bitch up for the crime and let go of that kid. If she wants to one day be with her biological mom, cool. But until that happens she should wash her hands of that child.

 

[DOS_patos]

That's the thing, birth mom gotta stop pushing for a mother/daughter relationship. She's saying my way or the highway and that's probably why the young woman is pushing away.

this is one of those times where this may sound kinda fucked up....but i think the mother might be entitled to say this. but not entitled to it. maybe.

bio mom lost alot. and the daughter doesnt even have a grasp on how much was lost.
pushing for what you were owed but robbed of.....can you really tell this woman to chill on her approach?
yes , shes still a stranger to the daughter.....that makes it even worse that the kidnapper is still welcoming the girl and interfering.

i remember seeing her do an interview...she seems like a sweet girl with young lady type innocence. this may be too much for her nor or ever to process. her whole life turned upside down and shes being forced to choose. not even between sides she knows....but one side she knows and the other she doesnt. i feel bad for her.

but the other lady needs to stay away....even if the bio mom and daughter doesnt have a relationship develop......that chicks needs to leave her alone.

 

[DOS_patos]

because she is.

Right now the only person that matters is Kamiyah. Both women need to take a step back and give her time to sort this out for herself. Birth mother is pushing her to hard to just drop the last 19 years and love her, but that ain't realistic. What's probably complicating this further is the fact that she's developing a relationship with her birth father and his family, so moms sees that and is now jealous. But she has to remember, the one thing always missing from her life was a father, now she has one so that's a relationship she can build from scratch. She can't just do that with her birth mother and that's got her pissed.

shit i got angry just reading this shit....
poor girl.

 

[Babelipsss]

You're looking at it from the mother's perspective, but the bolded is exactly how the mother is treating her daughter.


Which is why I think the daughter is better off without her.


As bad as this sounds, it would be a lot easier for the daughter to embrace her biological mother if the woman who kidnapped her was a horrible mother who subjected her to years of abuse/neglect/trauma and didn't show her any love.


However, that obviously wasn't the case


From all accounts, her daughter grew up in a loving household.


Bottom line, the mother and daughter are in need of group therapy.


The mother more than the daughter because she needs to get a better understanding of her daughter's perspective.


Based on the video, Iyanla is definitely not the one who should be facilitating this.

Why do people keep saying she grew up in a loving home? That girl grew up with nothing but lies and deceit. Her reality was manipulated by that demented barren woman. I wish somebody would steal my baby and then expect me to show an ounce of kindness toward them. That nasty woman is sitting up in prison living off the memories of the baby that she never had while the real mother has to live off the nightmare of her baby being stolen every single day. Things ain't right and things ain't never going to be right because of that babysnatcher.

 

[southsil4lil]

Fucked up situation all around, I feel terrible for the mom and daughter but I can't speak for how they should feel or handle it because thankful I've never had to experience anything like this

All I know for sure is the criminals need to get life behind bars

 

[DOS_patos]

like i said.....the daughter will understand once she has birthed her own kids....

 

[Chi-Town B]

Why do people keep saying she grew up in a loving home? That girl grew up with nothing but lies and deceit. Her reality was manipulated by that demented barren woman. I wish somebody would steal my baby and then expect me to show an ounce of kindness toward them. That nasty woman is sitting up in prison living off the memories of the baby that she never had while the real mother has to live off the nightmare of her baby being stolen every single day. Things ain't right and things ain't never going to be right because of that babysnatcher.

From the daughter's perspective it was loving. The abductor mother did a fucked up thing but who's to say Aunts, Uncles, grandparents and cousins didn't make her life a joy.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

And therein lies the problem.

lol @DOS_patos, how you going to acknowledge that the mother doesn't give a fuck about the daughter's perspective but have a problem with people calling her selfish?

 

[DOS_patos]

lol @DOS_patos, how you going to acknowledge that the mother doesn't give a fuck about the daughter's perspective but have a problem with people calling her selfish?

because the mother just wants her child.
thats all.
she is the one who carried her and birthed her.

there are times in our lives when logic doesnt mean shit,.
this is one of them.