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Is emotional abuse a real thing?

OhMars said:
Nah, i stopped reading it after she said her dad was emotionally abusive. I've been talking about parent to child emotional abuse.

What yo us said was a little more poignant.
To me the example she gave isnt abuse. It actually reminds me of a joke Patrice O'neal did about women emotionally raping men with questions like "did you miss me", but that's a whole other topic.
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you gotta read the posts in their entirety my brotha if you want to have proper context when responding
 
This kinda situation has NEVER been easy to resolve as folks making it seem.

It's just TOO many factors involved to just simply say "just leave". For some people who got kids, they're thinking about their safety. They could be in a situation where if they did up and leave, harm could come towards the kids. That's only one factor.

So yeah it is a "choice", but for some they think about the consequences AFTER they making that decision. K's point was pretty much spot on when she mentioned about resources not being their for those who wanna leave.
 
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AP21 said:
you gotta read the posts in their entirety my brotha if you want to have proper context when responding
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But in this forum I was never talking to race in all here magnificence, nor were any of her posts directed at me. So I tend to skim.

I still dont see me as an adult being emotionally abused, but we shall agree to disagree.
I have a well established lack of empathy
 
OhMars said:
But in this forum I was never talking to race in all here magnificence, nor were any of her posts directed at me. So I tend to skim.

I still dont see me as an adult being emotionally abused, but we shall agree to disagree.
I have a well established lack of empathy
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Why do you lack empathy?
 
OhMars said:
I just never had it. My mom's super emotional so I can sense changes in emotions and I generally know how people im around feel, but I cant put myself in there shoes.
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Super interesting. I dated a guy like this once.

Has ur lack of empathy been a red flag or dealbreaker to women you've dealt with before? Or do u not admit it to ppl?
 
OhMars said:
I just never had it. My mom's super emotional so I can sense changes in emotions and I generally know how people im around feel, but I cant put myself in there shoes.
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Interesting.

That saddens me.
Empathy is one of the most important traits to have.
Do you think because your mother was so emotional it caused you to dissociate in an effort to keep her grounded?
Do you feel like youre disconnected from your emotions?
Have you tried working on it?
How are your personal relationships?

Do you comfort people like this:
eBSvrqK.gif
 
BNE said:
Super interesting. I dated a guy like this once.

Has ur lack of empathy been a red flag or dealbreaker to women you've dealt with before? Or do u not admit it to ppl?
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I admit it to people all the time, a lot of my family is like this, I think we get from our father.
Most women dont mind besides the super emotinal ones, because im still a very kind person

Race Jones said:
That saddens me.
Empathy is one of the most important traits to have.
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If you say so

Race Jones said:
Do you think because your mother was so emotional it caused you to dissociate in an effort to keep her grounded?
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Im sure that plays a part. But like i said, several of my siblings have admitted to feeling the same way and my dad acts the exact same so it can't be the whole story

Race Jones said:
Do you feel like youre disconnected from your emotions?
Have you tried working on it?
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No and no, can't disconnect from something thats not there

Race Jones said:
How are your personal relationships?
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They gucci

Race Jones said:
Do you comfort people like this:
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Nah, I fake it with the best of them.
 
Race Jones said:
I agree @MissK



I dont agree with Reesy or Kandy at alll with this "Abuse is a choice" mumbo jumbo

I see a lot of victim-blaming. I cant get with that.
I dont think we understand the dynamics of abuse.
I think we are trying to make something very complex, simple

and that's not how any of this works.

leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse, because abuse is about power and control.
when a victim decides to leave, this undermines their partners power which can cause their partner to retaliate in destructive ways.
those who wonder why an abuse victim decides to say...
is giving weight to the very notion that they must like it (WHICH IS DANGEROUS AS FUCK) this only creates one more hurdle for the abused to get over in regards to leaving. It makes the world simpler, no doubt, for us to indulge this theory. We feel safer. "That shit cant happen to me," we say. "I would never deal with that shit." But the research proves anybody can end up in an abusive situation. And blaming the victims is a huge part of the problem. It reinforces the culture of shame.

The way we minimize abuse is a problem. I read a book once that said abuse is so latent in society that it is normalized. Its in the shows we watch, the music we listen to. This culture of silence and shame only makes the abused want to hide their pain, and when that happens -- when their plight remains invisible -- they have no hope at all of leaving.

What is even more alarming is how you are blaming the victim and not the abuser.
Most people are more concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women and vice versa.

Have ever spoke to women at shelters in your community?

Have you ever been abused in your adult life? because its easy to speak about things from a place of privilege.

Telling someone they are to blame for the abuse inflicted on them, is crazy as hell to me

Do we tell Black folks theyre to blame for their mistreatment in society?
No.

How can you have the same logic when it comes to things like this?
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giphy.gif
 
OhMars said:
I admit it to people all the time, a lot of my family is like this, I think we get from our father.
Most women dont mind besides the super emotinal ones, because im still a very kind person


If you say so


Im sure that plays a part. But like i said, several of my siblings have admitted to feeling the same way and my dad acts the exact same so it can't be the whole story


No and no, can't disconnect from something thats not there


They gucci



Nah, I fake it with the best of them.
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thanks for sharing. i think this is more common than 1 wld think. u can have no emotions n still be kind i suppose.
 
MissK said:
So for those saying it is your choice if someone is emotionally abusing you to the point of fearing for your life y'all just going to get up and go? Or your kids? Where you gonna go if the shelter turns you away, if you have no car, if you have no family, no money? And those are legit reasons that people deal with. I really don't think any of you would just be like yep I am out if you had been dealing with it for years. I think there is a lot of over simplification going on here.
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lmaooooooooooooo @ this extreme ass example. So she knows NOBODY else but this nigga, no family no friends no pastors, no nothing, he's all she knows in her entire miserable existence is this nigga? lol

Even then she can still get a fuckin job like everybody else.
 
TheMasterKey said:
lmaooooooooooooo @ this extreme ass example. So she knows NOBODY else but this nigga, no family no friends no pastors, no nothing, he's all she knows in her entire miserable existence is this nigga? lol

Even then she can still get a fuckin job like everybody else.
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I am not going there with you today Goldie fuck you very much.
 
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