Welcome To aBlackWeb

Register

Fellas, how would you handle this...

mryounggun said:
I'm tryna understand something real quick. Bear with me.

Those who think it's disrespectful on your woman's part, what specifically do you find disrespectful about it?
Click to expand...

aka_og said:
aka_og said:
her accepting the invitation with the quickness. Didnt even suggest to just ship it if getting shoes from dude mattered that much or gtfoh. To me sounds like she still in love with the ex and taking the bait

whole situation was an L waiting to happen. Reason you dont get serious with anyone 1-2years removed from a serious relationship
Click to expand...

mryounggun said:
That she just accepted the invite without making sure that it was ok with you first. Gotcha. Understood. That makes sense.

Another question: What specifically about the scenario makes you believe that she's still in love with her ex?
Click to expand...


not even that - she could have told me nothing and did her thing anyways. Its not about me giving permission - goes back to respect of what we got and understanding we have.

I could be wrong but it prob took longer than 12mths from them to fall in love to the point of engagement - detoxing from that in a year WHILE in a new relationship is how these types of threads/discussions get created

I gotta question - What does respect in a relationship mean to you?
Click to expand...

Ok, so what specifically do you find disrespectful? That's what I'm tryna understand and get to the root of. I asked what you found disrespectful. You said 'her accepting the invitation with the quickness'.

Then you said the bolded, when I confirmed it. So I'm legit confused. Not even trying to be funny.

What specifically do you feel she did that was disrespectful? Serious question.

Not just for you. For anyone.

To answer your question, respect if about being considerate of your partners thoughts, feelings, world view, likes, dislikes, etc.
 
mryounggun said:
I dunno that the man is saying that it's wrong. But even if he is, fuck it, I'll say the opposite. There is nothing wrong with having insecurities. People who think there is something wrong with it are either disingenuous or have zero emotional intelligence.
Click to expand...

Hey bro! You using too many big words, and since I don't know what they mean, I'm going to take it as disrespect.

AgitatedDaringGarpike-size_restricted.gif
 
Busta Carmichael said:
Literally no one has blamed the woman or called her disrespectful.

Its disrespectful for her ex to come through, dude should have a child of his own to take care of.

Whats he gonna tell his son? Sorry I couldn't buy you toys for Christmas, I spent my money on another man's child and her new boyfriend?

How long is this going on? He gonna keep contact after I marry this woman and now I gotta deal with him and the BD, when we get kids he still gonna be around and take care of my other kid?

Tell that lame to get his ass on somewhere. She's his ex for a reason.

Don't come around here years later man
Click to expand...

I asked for an explanation from those people who thought it was disrespectful on her part. The homie @aka_og replied to that and now we're discussing it. If YOU aren't saying it's disrespectful on her part, then the question wasn't for you, now was it?
 
mryounggun said:
Ok, so what specifically do you find disrespectful? That's what I'm tryna understand and get to the root of. I asked what you found disrespectful. You said 'her accepting the invitation with the quickness'.

Then you said the bolded, when I confirmed it. So I'm legit confused. Not even trying to be funny.

What specifically do you feel she did that was disrespectful? Serious question.

Not just for you. For anyone.

To answer your question, respect if about being considerate of your partners thoughts, feelings, world view, likes, dislikes, etc.
Click to expand...


what stood out as disrespect to the relationship was accepting the invitation from the ex. Think we can all agree that dude bringing up the sons shoes was just a bridge.

Me personally i aim not to do the 'mingling with exes' thing while in a relationship. I get on the same page with my woman on that. Shes an adult and can handle it from there - self regulation at that point

to add to what you said - respect to me is also maintaining whatever understanding we have regarding what we got.
 
mryounggun said:
I asked for an explanation from those people who thought it was disrespectful on her part. The homie @aka_og replied to that and now we're discussing it. If YOU aren't saying it's disrespectful on her part, then the question wasn't for you, now was it?
Click to expand...
You asked the question before y'all had the convo tho, and I was writing my response before him lol.

But no one said she was disrespectful before you asked the question.

Y'all just push your own narrative to make people seem like women haters.
 
aka_og said:
what stood out as disrespect to the relationship was accepting the invitation from the ex. Think we can all agree that dude bringing up the sons shoes was just a bridge.

Me personally i aim not to do the 'mingling with exes' thing while in a relationship. I get on the same page with my woman on that. Shes an adult and can handle it from there - self regulation at that point

to add to what you said - respect to me is also maintaining whatever understanding we have regarding what we got.
Click to expand...

Gotcha. Understood. This is what I was trying to get to the heart of. You and I fundamentally disagree about still communicating with an ex and rather or not it's ok. Meaning we'll never agree on this one.

Good talk. Salute.
 
It's an unwritten rule that you don't propose or let a alone do what the ex did out of respect for the new dude.

The audacity of that fuckboy...

I would cut her of for going, take my L and move on.

Not because I'm insecure but because I'm paranoid and jealous af, wife is exactly like me - we cut of all contact with exes/booty calls whatever back when we got serious lol - and if it was me in the openings post situation than my girl would have known about my state of mind and would have told the ex to fuck off/move on.

Do whatever works for you though, Yall that are cool with your girl hanging around with their exes are probably more mature than me, I still have the impression I could bag every girl I've ever been with on sight and assume all dudes share that same delusion lol.
 
Loquacious said:
You’re in a relationship with a lady for quite some time now.

You know about her relationship last year
Click to expand...


Define "quite some time"


I think of quite some time as at least a year, but..........if she turned down another man's proposal last year............then, obviously, she couldn't have been with the new dude for a year.


Unless she was seeing dude at the same time.


So, how long have they been together?


Also, out of curiosity, why did she turn down his marriage proposal?



Mike Wallace pic.gif
 
deadeye said:
Define "quite some time"


I think of quite some time as at least a year, but..........if she turned down another man's proposal last year............then, obviously, she couldn't have been with the new dude for a year.


Unless she was seeing dude at the same time.


So, how long have they been together?


Also, out of curiosity, why did she turn down his marriage proposal?



View attachment 384262
Click to expand...

This was my very first thought when I read the scenario. But I decided to take my own advice, shut the fuck up and just answer the question.
 
mryounggun said:
This was my very first thought when I read the scenario. But I decided to take my own advice, shut the fuck up and just answer the question.
Click to expand...


Well, my answer to her question would depend on her answer to mine.


Basically, how long I've been with her would determine how much I cared about her ex getting her son some shoes.
 
deadeye said:
Define "quite some time"


I think of quite some time as at least a year, but..........if she turned down another man's proposal last year............then, obviously, she couldn't have been with the new dude for a year.


Unless she was seeing dude at the same time.


So, how long have they been together?


Also, out of curiosity, why did she turn down his marriage proposal?



View attachment 384262
Click to expand...
Can’t answer that. I didn’t care to ask those questions when I was being told this story.
 
Busta Carmichael said:
Roasting that simp for getting declined by a single mother and her being with me not even a year later and he still buying shoes for the child that's not even his.
Click to expand...
This is wack. What does being declined by a single mother mean? You act like being a single mother is a negative.
 
RetroLDN said:
Yeah as a one-off I could understand.

However the boy can't having a relationship with father, Mom's current & ex boyfriend.

That just brings confusion into the boy's life, at some point boundaries got to be set.



Lol. Now you're adding your own detail to suit your point.

If that's the case how about the man go pick it up from the ex then. If that was me as the ex (which i highly doubt), i might even suggest that.
Click to expand...
Why can’t he have a relationship with them? What’s confusing about it?

is a child only limited to one positive male figure in his life?
 
Loquacious said:
This is wack. What does being declined by a single mother mean? You act like being a single mother is a negative.
Click to expand...
I mean... its the same for single dads.

I'm talking from a childless young man perspective.

If she's a single mother her options are not going to be as vast as one without children.

And the fact that dude came into her life and paid the bills, was there emotionally, took care of her kid, bought a ring that cost thousands and she still didn't want his ass and got another man?

That's the L on his part. Saying the same thing if it was a single father.

No hate or disrespect.

Is this story something that is going on with someone you know?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top