do i not strike you as a thinker?
Falling in Love before Sex.
- Thread starter Loquacious
- Start date
while very true.....
we still tend express certain emotions sexually....
and in the normal progression of relationships.....atleast the ones i've encountered....self expression typically reaches the sexual level well before the love level......
not saying it's impossible... just saying.....
it would seem peculiar to be the other way around.....
Golden
Administrator
why dont u think u're lovable without laying the pipe?
I'd find it strange if a man couldn't love me before seeing what my sex game was like.
sex and love overlap but aren't linked. People have one night stands and don't develop bonds. just like people can bond intensely without fucking.
you thinking too deep into this.....
my whole thing is sex is far more casual than love.....
people have sex and fuck all the time....it's nothing to fuck a person,.
it's a whole lot to love them.....
love is far more rare than sex.....
nowhere did i say you have to fuck someone to love them, i'm just saying sex typically has already happened....and if it hadn't happened, i'm sure there would be some sort of explainer....bcuz i would just find it strange or odd, that two people who are around eachother alot, developing emotions that graduate into love haven't fucked yet.....
cuz in normal land where i operate....when the chemistry is strong enough to actually produce love... it was strong enough to create a sexual situation far prior to that....
i've said several times, i didn't say it was impossible....
it just seems peculiar....i feel like there would have to be a reason...
are they pen pals?
long distance?
one of the paralyzed from the waist down? or some other aliment preventing them from sex?
again....i am not saying it's impossible,
i'm just saying as a person who has had sex quite a few times without falling in love...... sex typically goes down well before those types of emotions develop....
People do tend to EXPRESS their feelings during sexual encounters, that still doesn't mean they weren't in love with them before their time they chose to express.
I was in a long distance relationship and though sexual things happened. I was in love with him before we had physical sex. The sexual things we did were all mental.
I was in a long distance relationship and though sexual things happened. I was in love with him before we had physical sex. The sexual things we did were all mental.
Golden
Administrator
I think this is a modern issue. in the past, casual sex happened but it wasn't as normalized. falling in love before having sex wasn't considered unusual.
I don't personally consider sex casual by any stretch.
see.....there's an explainer......
Doesn't specifically need an explainer to make it understandable.
People fall in love before sex and don't determine someone's love on sex.
Golden
Administrator
yeah, I don't share their mindset.
there r still ppl who don't consider sex casual. including Mother Nature.
Nature wants you to only fuck ppl who would be viable mates. thats why we seek sexual characteristics to that end.
Your logic:
Him: I'm so in love with you Kae.
Me: Oh wait, let's have sex to see if this is true.
Him: I'm so in love with you Kae.
Me: Oh wait, let's have sex to see if this is true.
i don't determine love on sex. i've never once said that. or even hinted at that.
i never equated love to sex one time this conversation.
all i'm saying is that i would find it odd, considering how casual sex normally happens...
sex is not like a confirmation.....we have
that's wrong as hell...
i never once said you had to have sex to move forward in a relationship.....sex is not like a checkpoint.....
it just happens when there's chemistry....
if i meet a female i like, imma try to have sex with her....and if i really really like her, imma keep talking to her
i'm just saying in the real world people fuck way before they catch feelings...
while there are people who do discover love first, that's awesome...i'm just saying it's rare....rare enough that i would question it.....
so you mean to tell me you've been in love with every person you ever had sex with?
like you straight up refuse sex unless you're in love or working toward a relationship???
hey i mean, if that's you... cool.....
it's just not common.....
Golden
Administrator
@King Du
hookup culture has caused a whole lotta confusion and issues within the dating market. ur posts in this thread r an example, questioning love that isn't preceded by loveless sex.
there's nothing wrong with casual sex but there is equally nothing wrong with not partaking in it.
I think you have a casual attitude to everything Du, n u might be universalizing it.
people having loveless casual sex doesn't suddenly detract from the fact that just as often, if not moreso, people are having sex within loving relationships.
sex is letting another person into your body. n in western society, nudity is a private thing too. sharing all that is most definitely vulnerable af
calling it casual is peculiar but different strokes.
hookup culture has caused a whole lotta confusion and issues within the dating market. ur posts in this thread r an example, questioning love that isn't preceded by loveless sex.
there's nothing wrong with casual sex but there is equally nothing wrong with not partaking in it.
I know a hooker who ended up marrying her client. she liked him and he liked her, so they actually didn't sleep together until much later.
I think you have a casual attitude to everything Du, n u might be universalizing it.
people having loveless casual sex doesn't suddenly detract from the fact that just as often, if not moreso, people are having sex within loving relationships.
you being surprised by this is the only thing I find sincerely alarming.
sex is letting another person into your body. n in western society, nudity is a private thing too. sharing all that is most definitely vulnerable af
calling it casual is peculiar but different strokes.
i'm happy that you two ladies are strong advocates of loving someone first. But that's a romantic view.
I'm fairly certain that if you polled people who were in love......a high percentage had sex way before those love feelings developed...
as far for me personally i can only say i've been in love one time.....and it came way after we had sex....in fact when we had sex, i wasn't even thinking about if we was gonna get married and have kids one day....
i was just tryna fuck....
i
I'm fairly certain that if you polled people who were in love......a high percentage had sex way before those love feelings developed...
as far for me personally i can only say i've been in love one time.....and it came way after we had sex....in fact when we had sex, i wasn't even thinking about if we was gonna get married and have kids one day....
i was just tryna fuck....
i
Golden
Administrator
I'm not really advocating for it cuz I aint tryna convince ppl to be celibate until they're in love.
that's the order I see as making the most sense. ppl can do their own order or w/e suits them. I wldn't question a couple with love that came after sex had begun either.
trini... what you described...while awesome... is rare....
falling in love before having sex is rare......
shit falling in love in general is rare......
if i limited myself sexually to only the people i was inlove with, my wife would have been the only person i ever had sex with.....
if everyone limited themselves to sex with only those they were in love with, many peolpe would either be virgins or have like 1 or 2 partners....
love is rare....
but sex is not....yo can have sex with anybody...... but you can only love certain folk.....
falling in love before having sex is rare......
shit falling in love in general is rare......
if i limited myself sexually to only the people i was inlove with, my wife would have been the only person i ever had sex with.....
if everyone limited themselves to sex with only those they were in love with, many peolpe would either be virgins or have like 1 or 2 partners....
love is rare....
but sex is not....yo can have sex with anybody...... but you can only love certain folk.....
guilty as charged.....
i was a dumb hoe for quite a while...
when i met a chick i liked....first thing i wanted to do was stick my dick in her....