Fair or foul: DeMarcus Cousins threatens to kill babymoms

[mryounggun]

because the courts typically award custody to the mother out of default

also woman tend to go in for benefits, and the first thing they establish is custody. they make sure the kid lives wit the mom, and then they strt hitting the dad for child support...

then they award the mom benefits

Now we're getting somewhere. Ok cool.So they break up, she goes for child support, and as a part of that, custody is awarded to mom. What about all the people who have never been to court and have no child support order in place? Because I know plenty people like that. But the situation is usually still the same: Mom has custody, because that's what is just assumed, and dad plays the weekends.

What about those?

 

[mryounggun]

peace of mind is everything......

i can't say i would be that way, but i can understand not wanting to deal with a person who is literally driving you insane..

how can you be there for your kids, if every conversation with their mom is arguing and screaming....

niggaz rather not see thier kids, than for their kids to see them always arguing and screaming and fighting with their mom

Sop it, Du. I know how you are with your kids, fam. Peace of mind is NOT everything. Raising your children is everything.

Additionally...it takes two people are argue and scream. Niggas can very easily just choose to NOT argue. But let's say that's not an option. There are plenty of ways to argue and scream with your child's mother without letting your child be privy to it.

 

[Duwop]

i'm just playing devils advocate cuz i've seen it play out mad different ways.....

me and my wife had these discussions before, during and all the times about our children.. if for an reason we gotta split, we're depending on eachother off the break to still maintain the same parental duties.....

we've both seen way too much on both sides of our respective circles, and just couldn't allow ourselves to be played out like that....


but i've seen it a lot....

i know dudes who literally gotta send friends and family to get their kids, cuz they can't deal with the baby mom...

i've seen chicks spit on dudes in front of their kids, throw punches at them in front of their kids, and these dudes are forced to not react, cz they already got a record, and an assault would keep them from seeing their kids ever....


so it's a lotta fucked up situations out there....i don't be willing to call every nigga a dead beat if they really don't have a partner who is willing to work with them on any level.....that custody shit can be messy, drawn out, and really savage... mad people don't have the appetite for that kinda shit.....


they be defeated as fuck about it, but gotta play it off like the shit ain't no big deal hit can get real....

i think someone said it best at the beginning of the thread, i don't wish a toxic co-parent on anybody... man or woman...

that shit could easily be the most challenging shit of your life..

not being able to deal imp doesn't always make u a fuck nigga, some shit be next to impossible to deal with in a rationale way..

at the same time, some shit you just gotta deal with, and you can't be out here just wishing death on your bm....but that's when i mean everybody ai't built for it....

shit is a lot

 

[Duwop]

Now we're getting somewhere. Ok cool.So they break up, she goes for child support, and as a part of that, custody is awarded to mom. What about all the people who have never been to court and have no child support order in place? Because I know plenty people like that. But the situation is usually still the same: Mom has custody, because that's what is just assumed, and dad plays the weekends.

What about those?

you gotta ask them.

i don't know too many people in that situation.

every situation i've been aware of the courts made the decision for them.
and every dude i know, if they can get their kids whenever they want with no big beef, they do that shit.

 

[Duwop]

Sop it, Du. I know how you are with your kids, fam. Peace of mind is NOT everything. Raising your children is everything.

Additionally...it takes two people are argue and scream. Niggas can very easily just choose to NOT argue. But let's say that's not an option. There are plenty of ways to argue and scream with your child's mother without letting your child be privy to it.

again, we're talking about dealing with a difficult parent, and you're trying to make them less difficult for sake of discussion....


if you got someone who is gonna work with you, then great,

but if you got someone who is not gonna work with you, then you're left in the situation i'm talking about

if you trying to go get your kids, or even see your kids, and they making a beef right in front of the kids....

the best thing to do is to walk away.....especially if you know you're getting worked up

 

[mryounggun]

you gotta ask them.

i don't know too many people in that situation.

every situation i've been aware of the courts made the decision for them.
and every dude i know, if they can get their kids whenever they want with no big beef, they do that shit.

Fair enough. Let's just stick with the courts scenario.

I dunno, man. That sounds like real sucks shit to me. I get that niggas can find themselves in situations where their kids mom makes it fucking mind-numbing. But short of her moving away and me physically not knowing where they are - there is nothing on Earth my son's mom can do to keep him away from me. And certainly nothing she can do to make me say 'Naw, this ain't worth it.'

 

[mryounggun]

again, we're talking about dealing with a difficult parent, and you're trying to make them less difficult for sake of discussion....


if you got someone who is gonna work with you, then great,

but if you got someone who is not gonna work with you, then you're left in the situation i'm talking about

if you trying to go get your kids, or even see your kids, and they making a beef right in front of the kids....

the best thing to do is to walk away.....especially if you know you're getting worked up

Im saying though, how am I trying to make them less difficult? I already said I get that niggas have to co-parent with some women that are OD difficult. My point isn't that I wanna make them less difficult. My point is that it don't matter how difficult it is.

 

[DOS_patos]

I mean the people who got bms we all go through shit. How many of y’all said y’all was gonna kill her tho on the phone knowing she crazy?

We don't all love our kids the same.
Some dudes are OK being daddy when they can buy something when it comes to mind or its beneficial.

We gotta see how our kids in the community are lost as proof.

But to your question.....people lost in our community is not helping people like him or her understand the damage or promise of damage.

Explain this whole thing to your child.

"Daddy, don't kill mommy. I know you love me. But don't kill her. Ill be OK."

 

[Duwop]

Fair enough. Let's just stick with the courts scenario.

I dunno, man. That sounds like real sucks shit to me. I get that niggas can find themselves in situations where their kids mom makes it fucking mind-numbing. But short of her moving away and me physically not knowing where they are - there is nothing on Earth my son's mom can do to keep him away from me. And certainly nothing she can do to make me say 'Naw, this ain't worth it.'

you ever had the cops called on you?

cuz all it takes is a few white lies, and she can get a restraining order.

and say you the type to popup, another quick call and you got cops with guns out....


now yo might be able to live with that shit once or twice..

but i gotta homeboy that it took like 6 years, but he now has custody of all his daughters, we worked together...

he got locked up something like 15 times over his kids...

in the long run he was able to use that in his advantage because his lawyer pointed out how the mother was just making up charges and reasons to call the police just to get him to not be in his child's life....

the children never were threatened by him. she had no evidence that he was violent towards her. she refused to make a statement after some of the calls, cu z she got caught in a lie in one of the statements... it was a mess...

but 15 times??


15 times???



bruh, i don't know too many black men who can get locked up 15 times over some shit and still keep fighting...i constantly applaud him.....but i wonder if my resolve is that strong

 

[Duwop]

Im saying though, how am I trying to make them less difficult? I already said I get that niggas have to co-parent with some women that are OD difficult. My point isn't that I wanna make them less difficult. My point is that it don't matter how difficult it is.

some of them make it impossible is my point. the only way to fight is through the courts....

one-on-one isn't always an option..

to bring it all the way back to the topic real quick....i ain't even dealing with a chick like in the op....


i'm working with my lawyers to get my custody, and i'm scheduling the wedding on a day when i will have my kids, and i'm making sure the lawyers and judges approve it...


for me, i think peace of mind is important, and i rather deal with a judge and lawyer than a toxic parent who tryna get me thrown in jail

cuz that's exactly where she going with those threats...

 

[Duwop]

and the court shit is very tiring and exhausting....again, devil's advocate, cuz i would rather do courts than toxic chick, but a lotta niggaz ain't got the savvy to fight a chick in court

 

[DOS_patos]

Fuck it, y'all niggas already went down the road. Let's unpack.

You know what I be wondering? At the point that two people break up, how does it get from that point to it automatically being assumed that mom is keeping the kid and dad will have 'visitation' rights, or whatever?

Somebody walk me through that. Because I personally don't get it.

This what i been waiting for...nigga said let's unpack.

You can't really say. It goes both ways until someone fkexes control and testing limits.

 

[DOS_patos]

I really wonder how a child views this.

 

[DOS_patos]

Apples to carrots

Is it really?

I'm not talking kidnapped by stranger shit just to be clear.

 

[mryounggun]

you ever had the cops called on you?

cuz all it takes is a few white lies, and she can get a restraining order.

and say you the type to popup, another quick call and you got cops with guns out....


now yo might be able to live with that shit once or twice..

but i gotta homeboy that it took like 6 years, but he now has custody of all his daughters, we worked together...

he got locked up something like 15 times over his kids...

in the long run he was able to use that in his advantage because his lawyer pointed out how the mother was just making up charges and reasons to call the police just to get him to not be in his child's life....

the children never were threatened by him. she had no evidence that he was violent towards her. she refused to make a statement after some of the calls, cu z she got caught in a lie in one of the statements... it was a mess...

but 15 times??


15 times???



bruh, i don't know too many black men who can get locked up 15 times over some shit and still keep fighting...i constantly applaud him.....but i wonder if my resolve is that strong

So your homie didn't sit back, look at her funny and say 'Naw, it ain't worth it.'. He took all the steps he needed to get her in a courtroom and figure that shit out.

That's what I mean.

 

[Big Lurko]

I get into with my baby mom from time to time. Never threatened death tho it ain’t that hard not to say that. I get being pissed but we all know that ain’t a valid excuse

Aint you gay tho?

 

[AP3.0]

been meaning to say this for a while

but since I went through a lil situation with my daughter's mother, I ALWAYS assume im being recorded so I talk to her accordingly.

I've never recorded her even though we live in a state where one does not have to give consent to being recorded, and with me knowing that, as frustrated, upset, angry that I've been at various times, I ALWAYS made sure I didnt say anything that could come back to haunt me in the event she actually went through with one of her many threats about recording me.

We're on much better terms these days, but im still cautious on what I say to her over phone.

Boogie, while i understand was noticeably upset, he could've handled that situation a lot better than he did.

Then there is the layer with his now new wife? How does she feel about him doing this

 

[DOS_patos]

So your homie didn't sit back, look at her funny and say 'Naw, it ain't worth it.'. He took all the steps he needed to get her in a courtroom and figure that shit out.

That's what I mean.

somewhere in that mans life i am sure he had someone teach him critical thinking and/or responsibility.

if we being honest....this is something most lack...now matter the color or race.
most people dont want problems added onto already day to day shit ...so they cant process or have the mental capacity to process what to do outside of reacting.

like of all the shit i deal with now this.....its the straw.

its not right but people snap.
and they are even more likely to snap knowing someone if playing with them.

 

[DOS_patos]

been then again ..how many dudes really want their child in the home with them?

but i guess thats another thread.

 

[mryounggun]

somewhere in that mans life i am sure he had someone teach him critical thinking and/or responsibility.

if we being honest....this is something most lack...now matter the color or race.
most people dont want problems added onto already day to day shit ...so they cant process or have the mental capacity to process what to do outside of reacting.

like of all the shit i deal with now this.....its the straw.

its not right but people snap.
and they are even more likely to snap knowing someone if playing with them.

I guess you're right.

It's just hard for me to fathom how a person could 'snap' to the point that they'd rather not be involved in their child's life than deal with the bullshit that comes with it. I could understand if it was literally ANYTHING other than your child.