April marks Sexual Assault Awareness Month and the statistics are staggering

[AP3.0]

I don't think one person ever said reporting a rape is easy peasy.

But yall not gon sit here and keep ignoring the fact that NOT reporting it does even more harm, and then to turn around and join protests and movements after not reporting it makes any sense. And that argument can't be made about not trusting the police because let's be real, the cops get called on a nigga any other time real fucking quick.

well when i suggested that victims empowering victims was a good way to start, it was dismissed as "white woman logic" or whatever.

but you need to reread the last few pages b/c thats exactly what a few people were implying, that it was easy.

Not reporting it does not bring any light into a dark situation. I will agree, however, im not in a position to shame anyone for not doing so. Like i said earlier, i would try my best to get that person to come forward if I knew someone that was a victim and didnt feel like they had the strength to report it, but again, even that was called "white woman logic" or whatever so...idk brah

 

[konceptjones]

Absolutely disgusting..threads like this shouldn't even be made.
How hard is it to comprehend why people don't report rape or sexual assault? Like it's some rape button that you can easily press. Maybe there's an app for that.

Let's not even get started on sexual harassment...A lot of you niggas have sexually harassed women and don't even realize it. I've had to cuss plenty of jackasses out on jobs for saying off the wall shit to me.

Serious question what makes men think a woman wants to be talked to crazy at work, where she doing the same damn job as you? Working the same hours and getting paid less for it. If you don't get yo crusty whole married ass out my damn face and let me do my job...

One of my close female friends in college had two niggas try to gang rape her. She knew both of them, one was supposed to be her homie, the other was a romantic interest from The D that happened to know her homie. The situation was very similar to the one that was posted earlier: She was with the cat she was hollerin at fuckin and alladat when the other nigga came in the room and dude was like "You know what's up". They ended up scrappin, and the only way she got out of there was she managed to break a beer bottle to use as a weapon.

She called me from the lobby of the hall she was in to come get her. When she told me what had happened I took her to the police to file a report. She was hesitant, but I explained to her that these niggas can't be allowed to get away with this shit and I basically dragged her into the station to file the report.

She didn't want to report it, but I MADE her do it. While nothing came out of it, she still filed the report, went through all the questions and everything. I know it's hard to do, but it needs to be done.

 

[Kzzl]

@Kzzl, rape isnt always a force-able act

a chick can be coerced into rape

I'm aware, but they didn't directly threaten her. She assumed danger, so coerced wouldn't be the word I'd use. Judging by the details given of that story all she thought was two big black guys and fear did the rest.

 

[AP3.0]

She didn't want to report it, but I MADE her do it. While nothing came out of it, she still filed the report, went through all the questions and everything. I know it's hard to do, but it needs to be done.

BINGO

and thats why people are reluctant and scared to report anything.

 

[AP3.0]

I'm aware, but they didn't directly threaten her. She assumed danger, so coerced wouldn't be the word I'd use. Judging by the details given of that story all she thought was two big black guys and fear did the rest.

isnt fear a symptom of coercion?

 

[Duwop]

Man, knock bring your ass back in here....

 

[DOS_patos]

On this site alone you have people trying to redefine and make light of rape/physical/mental abuse. By people I mean men. Some of the views are downright insensitive, now think about who does a woman have to report to. A damn man, who more than likely shares some of these asinine views. Yea, they let you talk to a female officer, who's been trained by and reports to a man. Not to mention she's probably already dealing with her own shit on a daily basis and overlooking shit so she 'fits in with the boys" to keep her position.

So when it comes to rape/abuse ..NOW yall wanna be advocates for the judicial system, NOW yall have faith in the police... Lol...How many of yall have actually been to a police station to try to report anything? If it's such a logical answer to just report, wouldn't that make you think that maybe there's something wrong with that process? You know instead of being passive aggressive and blaming somebody for not reporting.
Try being a black woman reporting a sex crime, who according to society we are already hypersexual baby making machines. Or having a male officer ask you 10 plus times "Are you sure you didn't lead them on?"

Yes everyone should report rape/assault, but do yall think you just fill out a form and go home? Like, don't even take into account the mental state a person would be in after going through something like that, then having to prove an actual assault took place. Most rapes are committed by people the victim knows/interacts with, which would be hard as hell to convince someone the shit wasn't consensual...

The fact that this thread was supposed to be about sexual assault awareness month but instead turned into pointing fingers and wisecracks by grown ass men who can't relate is the very reason shit is the way it is. .

aint all of us sis.
me myself i would like to focus more on making males into men and helping female find themselves, understand their is help for them and help them understand what went wrong so it wont ever happen again. and when i say what went wrong i mean if it was a repeat thing...why was it allowed. if its the first time....as long as shes away and safe ....help her to not return.

but like i always say...it starts with the man.

the role of a strong man is grossly underrated.

i honestly think most of our community doesnt know what what a good dude is or how to be one. shit just being a good dude starts with mindframe.

but let me shut up...im not feeling well....so ill go back to reading

 

[Meeks]

Sad and hilarious.

 

[konceptjones]

BINGO

and thats why people are reluctant and scared to report anything.

I call bullshit.

I got my car broken into a few times. I reported it every time. The first two, nothing came of it. The last time I was the only person to come forward and file a report. They caught the honkies that did it. My report sent them in state prison.

I got robbed at gun point. I filed a report even though nothing came from it.

You still report that shit. Had them niggas pulled that shit on another chick and got reported, there would now be two reports of fuckery instead of just one. Now it looks like a pattern instead of a one-off. Now she becomes a credible witness. Now the likelihood of prosecution is greater because of a pre-existing event tied to these same niggas.

Report that shit. Saying that "nothing will happen anyways" is a cop-out.

 

[Duwop]

We just wired differently.

Men are more about control.

If we can't control a situation physically then we beat it to death with logic and dictate how things should be...

Women.... Not so much....

It's the whole "I'm thirsty" augment from white men can't jump....

I don't really think you dudes are completely insensitive towards rape, and I understand how defensive that accusation can make you....

But honestly we're largely not looking at this from their perspective.

And it's different in a lot of major ways...

I've heard some personal stories before that completely changed the way I've looked at a lot of this stuff....I mean it gets deep....

Shit ain't as simple as dudes think it is when you propose mad simple solutions...

That shit comes off mad insulting, Especially to victims and survivors....

 

[konceptjones]

If you’re not a WOMAN you can’t say a mother fucking thing about what a woman who has been sexually assaulted should do or how she should feel. We have family members, sexually assaulting young girls and women in families, we have family friends assaulting...The list goes on and OFTEN the victim is shamed. I find it disturbing as fuck the shit I read and it happens in black homes and in black families more than people like to admit. Victims are shamed daily when they speak out, victims are afraid of the outcomes speaking out. Fear is REAL, victim blaming IS REAL... period. Cut the bullshit.

Meeks... You do know men are sexually assaulted by women at nearly the same rate, right?

Everything you just wrote also applies to men, except the shame of being sexually assaulted by a woman carries a heavier mental toll on a man.

What I've found most disturbing about this thread, and the whole fucking month, is that it's centered on women as victims, completely ignoring male victims of sex crimes as if they don't exist. And because people like you do this, the men that are victims will continue to sit in silence.

 

[DOS_patos]

regardless is whats reported or not....

the men in the community need to let it be knows that the shit wont fly. a rapist , pedo, or whatever should be afraid in our communities but instead of fear they thrive and prey.

these women cant fend for themselves when these type niggas running around and niggas too busy shooting the shit and trynna smash to be worried about shorty who might be a hoe so maybe deserved it.

when i was little a dude we was all cool with touched someones brother.
the hood...made work of that nigga before the cops.
another dude i knew...i used to fight him all the time....but later on when we was teens....he raped a chick and killed her.....the hood made work of the nigga...when he got sent up....yea....nigga came home a broken man many years later.

then drugs over ran our community and niggas placed money above every and anything......mad niggas got killed....the order turned to chaos

and then when arrive where we are now....organized chaos.
grown ass men acting like preteens and who will the women follow? shit daddy aing home cause he shooting the shit trynna smash and stay young. and if he is home....he aint a good leader.

so where does that place our women?
where does that place the next generation?

whos guiding who?
are men guiding our women?
are women guiding our men?
is instagram guiding both?

shit comes back to us men.

shit is simple

 

[Meeks]

Meeks... You do know men are sexually assaulted by women at nearly the same rate, right?

Everything you just wrote also applies to men, except the shame of being sexually assaulted by a woman carries a heavier mental toll on a man.

What I've found most disturbing about this thread, and the whole fucking month, is that it's centered on women as victims, completely ignoring male victims of sex crimes as if they don't exist. And because people like you do this, the men that are victims will continue to sit in silence.

I already said the same thing happens to men but thanks.

Not reading all of this.

 

[DOS_patos]

let me say this.....

in the DR...i found out some sad shit a while back.
damn near every chick i know there has been raped.
most of them been raped by a family member....others raped walking home on them dark streets.

and whats crazy...is they never reported it...and the ones that do...it rarely leads to a conviction.
the euros go there and rape 12 and 13 girls and sometimes with the parents consent.

rape is a fucked up thing.
alot of yall never ask the right questions,.
alot of yall are not the people that these women can open up to.
why is that?
ask yourself why hasnt someone shared this with you?
what would you do if they did?

 

[DOS_patos]

Y'all sit here and act like rape hasn't been used as a fear tactic and weapon for 100s of years. That alone should tell y'all that the shit is powerful and people are seriously fucked up after going through it..

most of our ancestors have been thru it......women raped in front of their family
men raped in front of their family(buck breaking)

just because we got cars and jobs and a few more rights dont mean shit stopped.

 

[DOS_patos]

I think a lot of y'all are assuming what SHOULD happen WILL happen.

Also not considering the mental emotional aspect of rape.....

That shit is traumatic as fuck... You don't just bounce back and tell the first person you see. Motherfuckers die inside from that shit. Some physically/ mentally shut down... Can't talk about it....

Many feel unclean and want to shower immediately. Which washes away mad evidence.

Yes, as a man, protector. .I would want my sister, wife, niece, cousin, friend, child to come to me immediately so I can react... But that shit ain't easy fam.

Women still cry and have trouble talkibg about decade ago rapes....

Admittance to what happened is very difficult.

Shit let a man rape me, you'd be lucky to get a sensible conversation out of me the rest of my life

and whats crazy about this......niggas get raped in jail all the time and act like its nothing to go back to jail...and some niggas say its part of the game.

like what game? dont ever wanna play that shit.

 

[Kzzl]

isnt fear a symptom of coercion?

Coercion would mean they performed an actual act that caused fear. Put a gun to her head, gave her an ultimatum, or some forceful type shit. Unless there's a part I missed, all that happened was the other guy showed up, and it was put on the table. If all she thought was "two black guys bigger than me...", and that non-coerced fear is a valid argument for a rape charge, you've all just validated every cop that used that excuse as well.

Since y'all wanna put yourselves in other folks shoes, imagine having to deal with that as an officer. Her situation is really just her word and that she was too drunk to give consent. That's usually enough, but I wouldn't consider it coercion. BUT it would also help if a previous victim had came out if that was case. You know, establish a pattern, maybe unearth a cover up at the school, IJS.

But that's just me trying to solve a problem, which I see most of you ain't bout. Many of you would rather just give victims a corner to cry in when shit happens. Like I said before, that will just make them food for the rest.

 

[Dwayne]

They def made this month about men being predators though.

 

[AP3.0]

I call bullshit.

I got my car broken into a few times. I reported it every time. The first two, nothing came of it. The last time I was the only person to come forward and file a report. They caught the honkies that did it. My report sent them in state prison.

I got robbed at gun point. I filed a report even though nothing came from it.

You still report that shit. Had them niggas pulled that shit on another chick and got reported, there would now be two reports of fuckery instead of just one. Now it looks like a pattern instead of a one-off. Now she becomes a credible witness. Now the likelihood of prosecution is greater because of a pre-existing event tied to these same niggas.

Report that shit. Saying that "nothing will happen anyways" is a cop-out.

im not about to equate having your car broken into to being raped

 

[AP3.0]

Coercion would mean they performed an actual act that caused fear. Put a gun to her head, gave her an ultimatum, or some forceful type shit. Unless there's a part I missed, all that happened was the other guy showed up, and it was put on the table. If all she thought was "two black guys bigger than me...", and that non-coerced fear is a valid argument for a rape charge, you've all just validated every cop that used that excuse as well.

Since y'all wanna put yourselves in other folks shoes, imagine having to deal with that as an officer. Her situation is really just her word and that she was too drunk to give consent. That's usually enough, but I wouldn't consider it coercion. BUT it would also help if a previous victim had came out if that was case. You know, establish a pattern, maybe unearth a cover up at the school, IJS.

But that's just me trying to solve a problem, which I see most of you ain't bout. Many of you would rather just give victims a corner to cry in when shit happens. Like I said before, that will just make them food for the rest.

this is very "either or" of you

no one, i repeat, NO ONE is saying you shouldnt say anything

do we at least agree here