Fair or Foul? Woman spews hate towards father

[DOS_patos]

I’m enjoying the discussion

 

[SeaSnake]

You can make amends as long as the person is open to it. Them kids were not willing to give their father a chance despite everything else he did for them. You ask me, they're ungrateful assholes.

Maybe it's better that he's dead.

Lol bruh what else did he do for them?

 

[BlackRain]

All cool and you right, so can they not like their dad but support him in his older age? Can he live in the after life with dignity and respect.
I never saw where she said he was an asshole to them….just always at work.
So instead of walking out the room when he enters…..go to work ti get they own place.
and mom just let them do that?
Just no correction?
Shit that man might be happier dead.

Now see this is where nuance comes in and it can easily be said he may have dropped the ball when they were children and then they in turn dropped it as adults when he attempted to make amends.

The only thing is though nobody, even parents, is entitled to forgiveness. And that's a hard pill for alot of people to swallow especially when talking about family

 

[SeaSnake]

Or he wasnt perfect.

Being emotionally unavailable is not simply being imperfect tho. That is literally one of the main things of parenting. It’s not like he forgot a ball game

 

[DOS_patos]

Now see this is where nuance comes in and it can easily be said he may have dropped the ball when they were children and then they in turn dropped it as adults when he attempted to make amends.

The only thing is though nobody, even parents, is entitled to forgiveness. And that's a hard pill for alot of people to swallow especially when talking about family

I can agree with this.

 

[SeaSnake]

I'm tryna tell y'all taking care of another human being is a thankless job.

Lol.

The truth of this is, nobody asked to be here. It's not like you can choose your parents or the time period you were born in, which dictates parenting practices.

Everyone is at the mercy of fate.

Another unfortunate thing is... nobody knows how to be parent. Nobody is prepared to be a parent. People become parents through pure biological action. There's no test, there's no class, there's no degree, there's no expert you can consult.

Once you become an adult and able to reflect on being a child, you understand these things.

1. Your parents didn't know what the fuck they were doing.

2. Their parents didn't know what the fuck they were are doing.

3. Majority of the adults around you as a kid didn't know what the fuck they were doing.

4. Parenthood and adulthood is the blind leading the blind. It's a cycle of motherfuckers that have absolutely no right or qualifications to raise or take care of another human being other than biology.

5. Most people on Earth are here because two people fucked, not because they were planned or wanted. And even if you were planned, half the time soon as you popped out and started crying, your parents regretted it and couldn't wait until you grew up.

You become a little more forgiving of parents and their choices.

But if you think like a kid still and you need mommy and daddy to love you and all this bullshit, then you go around resenting motherfuckers for shit they didn't even know how to do or probably didn't even want to do.

this is some bullshit with like two parts are truth. True a lot of folks didn’t plan their kids and you can’t choose your parents. It’s not that damn hard to build a bond with your kid. Both my parents grew up without a dad at home and my dad of course made some mistakes and that’s for him and my older brothers to figure out but with all his faults there was never a time I felt he ain’t have my back. My dad left school 10th grade went into Vietnam as a teen had his prime in the 70s abd 80s. But never had no issue telling us he loved us. Of course like anybody he has issues but with me an my younger brother it’s all peace. Even with most of my older brothers it’s peace.

being a parent ain’t thankless at all that’s even weird to say

Y’all want the kids to do something not knowing how many times they tried

 

[DOS_patos]

Being emotionally unavailable is not simply being imperfect tho. That is literally one of the main things of parenting. It’s not like he forgot a ball game

We can’t act like all parents are great communicators…..or all kids receive the message the way it was intended.
And what is emotionally available?
Not allowing her to hide under your covers during a thunderstorm?
Making her get back in the bike after she fell but she wants to keep crying?
Not answering a text back fast enough?
Shit was she a good kid?

 

[SeaSnake]

These cats on here don't wanna hear none of that. They acting like they know precisely how to properly parent out the gate and make zero mistakes. But they all got many years to go whereas I've got adult children I'm still guiding through life. Maybe, juuuuuust maybe I might know a thing or two, maybe I've seen a thing or two, but none of that matters 'cause clearly they got the answers.

Lol, niggas don't even know all the questions yet but somehow got the answers.

nobody even said any of that ahit in your first sentence man not at all. But y’all miggas act like being emotionally available is the hardest part of parenting and then wonder why the kids is this scenario have no emotions his actions lead to that. Like when did accountability not be a thing

 

[SeaSnake]

The same as people tell children "after a certain point you know right from wrong" the same goes for adults. And now we know right from wrong when it comes to what happens when kids are neglected. It's not some new thing that kids both need and want attention from their parents. There's literally been decades of research done on this and the long term effects and benefits of single parenthood vs a 2 parent household. So people are well aware of what happens when you don't take care of your child past "I paid the bills be grateful."

You can't find one post that says parents should be perfect because nobody expects that. But people also shouldn't be given an automatic pass because "I ain't know better" when you could've known but chose not to. Or even if you really didn't that still doesn't mean the negative effects of your decisions all of a sudden disappear. Those are still lives that were affected by that parents decision making.

facts on the after a certain point you know from wrong because @konceptjonessays that all the time

 

[SeaSnake]

We can’t act like all parents are great communicators…..or all kids receive the message the way it was intended.
And what is emotionally available?
Not allowing her to hide under your covers during a thunderstorm?
Making her get back in the bike after she fell but she wants to keep crying?
Not answering a text back fast enough?
Shit was she a good kid?

what you think it means man? If your kid run home crying with a skinned knee and you tell them it’s ok Abd give first ain’t that’s a perfect example of being available emotionally and physically. Why is it millions of folks balance work and family life and don’t have this issue?

 

[SeaSnake]

I’m say again this is new school Vs old school

 

[BRIAN B.]

I stopped at pg2 yesterday

& this shit done blew up


is it safe to say someone got emotionally finessed?

 

[DOS_patos]

I stopped at pg2 yesterday

& this shit done blew up


is it safe to say someone got emotionally finessed?

Not quite.
This turned into a good convo.
No fuck shit.
Emotional manipulation didn’t come into this thread.

 

[DOS_patos]

I’m say again this is new school Vs old school

You are wrong again.
make all your statements once your child is grown…then you can say you have the experience.
this is not old raising vs young raising.
This is about raising period.

 

[DOS_patos]

what you think it means man? If your kid run home crying with a skinned knee and you tell them it’s ok Abd give first ain’t that’s a perfect example of being available emotionally and physically. Why is it millions of folks balance work and family life and don’t have this issue?

It’s also millions of folks who have two parent that was available and they still found fault in them.
It also takes a mature minded child to understand life and how it works.
I dint think you fully understand how one very small thing can take away from all you do.

 

[SeaSnake]

Nobody said the father couldn't be flawed. That's the way you're taking it because you can't see or respect the kids point of view.

The bold is wrong.

Literally. Lol niggas came in the thread against the kids immediately did no type of understanding. Same ones that say kids these days ain’t raised right

 

[SeaSnake]

It’s also millions of folks who have two parent that was available and they still found fault in them.
It also takes a mature minded child to understand life and how it works.
I dint think you fully understand how one very small thing can take away from all you do.

Everybody had faults man your kids know this. You and one other person are saying we expect perfection but that’s not it. I gotta wait till my kid grown to speak on parenthood?

 

[SeaSnake]

Fuck this whole "lemme hop on social media and shit on my parents for amens and likes" culture.

I swear children nowadays, even adult ones act like they had the worst parents ever and that they know everything there is to know about parenting.

This is a prime examole of how men have come to be taken for granted. If you dont work you dusty, if you work too much then fuck you we gon walk out the room cuz you werent there. Meanwhile, we encourage mothers to chase their careers and the fam suppose to accept it and support her. Yet the men are the ones with the pressure to pay all the bills. Theres mos def something off in that household because assuming he was working for all the right reasons, mom shoulda been teaching them to respect their father.

lol bruh you can work and be there for your kids without abusing them or treating them like trash. He literally skipped one of the most important aspects of being a parent but y’all letting it slide cause if what? If you ain’t there to see milestones and shit or teach anything what can a parent expect. Niggas work everyday all my homies who got kids raise them. I don’t understand why he can’t?

 

[SeaSnake]

If this nigga come in the room we left out.

But you aint leave that house though. You still used him for that even though he was trying to catch up on lost times being the provider.

So they was supposed to leave as minors? How you know they ain’t peace when they legally could

 

[SeaSnake]

Lol abw hates accountability