Fair or Foul? Woman spews hate towards father

[Revolver Ocelot]

That's wack to me. If he wasn't available because of fuckshit I understand but he was doing it for the fam, let's not act like parents being emotionally available isn't a pretty new thing. I don't think he should be made to suffer for a common mistake a lot of fathers have made. Thats taught behaviour which until pretty recently was the norm. It's only our generation that realized that error in our parents ways.

If you can identify he was emotionally unavailable and you have major issues and resentment because of it you should be able to also identify he's trying and maybe instead of walking out the room every time he comes in you sit down and talk about why you have that resentment and you try and work through it. Seems clear he's willing. Anything else is some fuckshit and those kids are hypocrites.

Maybe he didn't understand the entire mission but he didn't fail it.

Fuck them.

Thread should've ended here

 

[BlackRain]

Actually, the way y'all are responding that's precisely what it appears you're expecting. Daddy can't be flawed. Daddy gotta do this and that 'cause children and shit. Well, chances are daddy got the blueprint watching his daddy, and his daddy got it from his own. So all you got to work from is what you saw with your own eyes. Y'all acting like there's a field manual to this parenting shit and there really ain't. Daddy's focus on providing for his children is time tested and as old as humanity itself and that's where most men start from. That's all we got to go on. So if some men work 7 days a week to make sure his kids are provided for, maybe allow the man a bit of grace 'cause that just might be all he knows to do.

The same as people tell children "after a certain point you know right from wrong" the same goes for adults. And now we know right from wrong when it comes to what happens when kids are neglected. It's not some new thing that kids both need and want attention from their parents. There's literally been decades of research done on this and the long term effects and benefits of single parenthood vs a 2 parent household. So people are well aware of what happens when you don't take care of your child past "I paid the bills be grateful."

You can't find one post that says parents should be perfect because nobody expects that. But people also shouldn't be given an automatic pass because "I ain't know better" when you could've known but chose not to. Or even if you really didn't that still doesn't mean the negative effects of your decisions all of a sudden disappear. Those are still lives that were affected by that parents decision making.

 

[The Mad Titan]

Fuck this whole "lemme hop on social media and shit on my parents for amens and likes" culture.

I swear children nowadays, even adult ones act like they had the worst parents ever and that they know everything there is to know about parenting.

This is a prime examole of how men have come to be taken for granted. If you dont work you dusty, if you work too much then fuck you we gon walk out the room cuz you werent there. Meanwhile, we encourage mothers to chase their careers and the fam suppose to accept it and support her. Yet the men are the ones with the pressure to pay all the bills. Theres mos def something off in that household because assuming he was working for all the right reasons, mom shoulda been teaching them to respect their father.

 

[IP360]

Well if he's dead...then she and her siblings has to live wit that resentment/anger towards him for the rest of their lives.

And if she claims she don't gaf...thats a lie. B/c she made a twitter post to let the world know that she's still resent him. Could've had the chance to release that emotional burdern...but she chose anger for life instead.

 

[mryounggun]

Well if he's dead...then she and her siblings has to live wit that resentment/anger towards him for the rest of their lives.

And if she claims she don't gaf...thats a lie. B/c she made a twitter post to let the world know that she's still resent him. Could've had the chance to release that emotional burdern...but she she chose anger for life.

I LEGIT don't understand why everybody keeps using words like resentment/anger, etc. Niggas just inserted that into the conversation out of nowhere. Like @Duwop said, seems like it was just an awkward situation and they didn't want to deal with it. I really think everybody is reaching with the resentment/anger angle.

 

[BlackRain]

Fuck this whole "lemme hop on social media and shit on my parents for amens and likes" culture.

I swear children nowadays, even adult ones act like they had the worst parents ever and that they know everything there is to know about parenting.

This is a prime examole of how men have come to be taken for granted. If you dont work you dusty, if you work too much then fuck you we gon walk out the room cuz you werent there. Meanwhile, we encourage mothers to chase their careers and the fam suppose to accept it and support her. Yet the men are the ones with the pressure to pay all the bills. Theres mos def something off in that household because assuming he was working for all the right reasons, mom shoulda been teaching them to respect their father.

The vast majority of couples with kids, especially married couples, need 2 incomes to stay above float now so the whole pressure to pay the bills being one sided now hasn't been a thing for a while. If a couple is struggling because only 1 person wants the burden of working and paying all the bills then that's a self inflicted wound that they can fix themselves.

The tweet in question actually shows just how valued and valuable the actual presence of a man in the home is because clearly the lack of it in this household led to some issues that those people need or needed to at some point work out. So the tweet that started all of this speaks more to how needed a man's presence in that household was and not a lack of appreciation for it.

 

[Duwop]

Like you know how hard it is to fake like somebody?

Shit makes you feel like a shitty person. Cuz you know your being phoney.

That shit ain't for everybody

 

[konceptjones]

I agree that nobody inherently knows how to parent and its a big ass game of trial and error. However we have progressed as a society enough to know that certain shit is good and bad for human development and playing ignorant to those things does more harm than good...and it's also not an excuse or pass for parents being shitty or neglectful towards their kids.

Your idea of being shitty and mine are wildly different.

There's folks right here in my apt complex that I see every day that I would consider being shitty parents 'cause they're cussin them kids out every chance they get, got parents callin' their kids "nigga" every other sentence, screaming at them for minor ass shit, and while mom and dad look like they got some money their kids look like the junkyard gang. Dad goes from tossing a football with his son to flipping in an instant to cussing him out over some menial shit. There's one family three doors down from me where dad works but comes home every day and you see them outside with the kids but the way they talk to those kids you'd swear they were talking to the opps from around the corner. And that's just the shit I see, ain't no tellin what's happening behind closed doors.

Meanwhile, a father that works to provide but is, for one reason or another, not "emotionally available" is not really "shitty" in my eyes, most likely he's simply tired as fuck.

 

[ZMaKEa]

You do realize with a financial parent and that's all they did. Didn't actually "raise" their kid. That is those kids whole issue they feel their father didn't actually raise them.

How much time parents actually spend with their kids really in the first place.

Between going to work and sending kids to school. Parents might see their kids for 3 hours at best on the weekdays.

Parent's ain't really raising no kid once they get school age. It's teachers and shit.

Lol, shit unless you was one of them kids that had to work on the farm back in the day, you wasn't really out here with your kids every damn day.

80s and 90s babies really didn't see their parents. Your parents be at work, you took your ass to school and take your ass home. Your momma and daddy come home and probably say 3 sentences to you and took your ass to sleep. On the weekends, your parents tell ya ass to go outside and don't come back until it gets dark.

So how much "raising" is actually being done parents, not much. People overrate how much time they spent with their kids.

Most parents just exist to pay for shit, keep the kid alive, and give advice every guidance and every now again. Institutions raise children these days, not parents.

Like I said, these resentful ass children need to grow the fuck up and face the reality about the world.

Most motherfuckers that are here, ain't planned, ain't wanted, they just accidents and their parents did the best they can or didn't try at all and said fuck it.

Your daddy paying for shit and acknowledging your presence is a fucking blessing.

Just like if your momma didn't put you in a oven or try to drown you in the bathtub, or sell you to her boyfriend, you should be happy.

If your parents ain't low down, dirty scum of the earth. You hit the jackpot.

"My daddy didn't spend time with me."

95 percent of children ain't spend quality time with they father until like 2004, especially if you Black. You was at grandma house. Your dad worked 2 jobs. It's only until women started getting full time careers and saying fuck that stay at home mom shit when fathers took an active role in raising children.

 

[2max]

She sounds like a bitter broad

 

[Dwayne]

I LEGIT don't understand why everybody keeps using words like resentment/anger, etc. Niggas just inserted that into the conversation out of nowhere. Like @Duwop said, seems like it was just an awkward situation and they didn't want to deal with it. I really think everybody is reaching with the resentment/anger angle.

Check out the replies and responses and you can see it.

 

[T. Sanford]

Fuck this whole "lemme hop on social media and shit on my parents for amens and likes" culture.

I swear children nowadays, even adult ones act like they had the worst parents ever and that they know everything there is to know about parenting.

This is a prime examole of how men have come to be taken for granted. If you dont work you dusty, if you work too much then fuck you we gon walk out the room cuz you werent there. Meanwhile, we encourage mothers to chase their careers and the fam suppose to accept it and support her. Yet the men are the ones with the pressure to pay all the bills. Theres mos def something off in that household because assuming he was working for all the right reasons, mom shoulda been teaching them to respect their father.

Man!!!!!! Real talk on this. I was about to say this before I seen @King Freeman post but I lost train of thought, but everybody wanna play the victim these days. It remind me of Cris Carter, throwing his mama under the bus and fake crying on TV like ESPN give af.

 

[IP360]

Man!!!!!! Real talk on this. I was about to say this before I seen @King Freeman post but I lost train of thought, but everybody wanna play the victim these days. It remind me of Cris Carter, throwing his mama under the bus and fake crying on TV like ESPN give af.

Til this day it's always gonna be "Fucc Chris Carter" wit me.

 

[DOS_patos]

These cats on here don't wanna hear none of that. They acting like they know precisely how to properly parent out the gate and make zero mistakes. But they all got many years to go whereas I've got adult children I'm still guiding through life. Maybe, juuuuuust maybe I might know a thing or two, maybe I've seen a thing or two, but none of that matters 'cause clearly they got the answers.

Lol, niggas don't even know all the questions yet but somehow got the answers.

Niggas aint even got they kids full time and talking shit.

 

[DOS_patos]

LLS some of yall contradicting the shit out of yourselves based on things yall said in other threads and not even realizing it or just flat out flip flopping.

Fuck that.
I’ll be the first to say I think dads need to be in they kids life. But I’m also not going to act like shit don’t happen that may take them away.
When I make my statements, it’s towards fuck niggas and dumb asses…not a man trying to provide for the family.
There is a difference

 

[BlackRain]

Your idea of being shitty and mine are wildly different.

There's folks right here in my apt complex that I see every day that I would consider being shitty parents 'cause they're cussin them kids out every chance they get, got parents callin' their kids "nigga" every other sentence, screaming at them for minor ass shit, and while mom and dad look like they got some money their kids look like the junkyard gang. Dad goes from tossing a football with his son to flipping in an instant to cussing him out over some menial shit. There's one family three doors down from me where dad works but comes home every day and you see them outside with the kids but the way they talk to those kids you'd swear they were talking to the opps from around the corner. And that's just the shit I see, ain't no tellin what's happening behind closed doors.

Meanwhile, a father that works to provide but is, for one reason or another, not "emotionally available" is not really "shitty" in my eyes, most likely he's simply tired as fuck.

You intentionally ignored the word "neglectful" as well in my post. You can be a neglectful parent and still provide financially for your kids...and simply providing for your kids doesn't negate being a neglectful or shitty parent. And the bare minimum is providing financially for your kids so if that's the bar for parenting then that's a low ass bar to set when we all know it takes more to raise a child than feeding and clothing them.

 

[IP360]

My dad worked a lot when I was a kid. He made time for us when he could. But I wasn't trippin off it. B/c I knew he had a job to go to. My mama held it down until she passed.

But by that time I was a teenager. So my understanding of him having to work to provide as a widower grew even more. I understood how hard he had it, and never became a burden to him (ie. out in the streets or in school doing dumb shyt).

Did I wish he and other members of my family was there to help me deal wit the loss of my mama all these years? Yes. It is what it is. But I would NEVER shun him. He did what he could to make sure we was straight. Did a helluva job at that.

Besides...I'm too old to be carrying that kinda emotional baggage.

 

[DOS_patos]

They did while he was alive according to the post. I mean walking out the room when he comes in would be matching the energy they felt he gave.

Is it really?
There is so many what ifs that goes against this and again, if they dint understand, they doing shit off assumptions

 

[DOS_patos]

Your idea of being shitty and mine are wildly different.

There's folks right here in my apt complex that I see every day that I would consider being shitty parents 'cause they're cussin them kids out every chance they get, got parents callin' their kids "nigga" every other sentence, screaming at them for minor ass shit, and while mom and dad look like they got some money their kids look like the junkyard gang. Dad goes from tossing a football with his son to flipping in an instant to cussing him out over some menial shit. There's one family three doors down from me where dad works but comes home every day and you see them outside with the kids but the way they talk to those kids you'd swear they were talking to the opps from around the corner. And that's just the shit I see, ain't no tellin what's happening behind closed doors.

Meanwhile, a father that works to provide but is, for one reason or another, not "emotionally available" is not really "shitty" in my eyes, most likely he's simply tired as fuck.

All about perspective.

niggas gonna learn, just because you around don’t mean shit

 

[Dwayne]

If this nigga come in the room we left out.

But you aint leave that house though. You still used him for that even though he was trying to catch up on lost times being the provider.