Previously on IJPWEPB
(Eh...fuck it I am lazy...) I fucked for 4 minutes on an infertile woman was on her period, pulled out. I didn't cum when I realized what the fuck I was doing and bribed a bih take a Plan B 2 days later. The Kwame Brown of Pussy.
Current episode
So...I am sitting here, playing A lot.
Reflecting on my life, feels like I am going to trial. Like I shot a motherfucker in broad day, in 4K, because he cut me off in traffic. Killing a motherfucker who wronged you feels good until you realize you about to do life in prison. Then you are coping pleas with the judge.
My parents told me that it would good for me to have a child. Maybe I'll enjoy more things in life, what's the worst thing that can happen? (Lol.)
I got blue balls from that night, the blue balls is an actual confirmation that I didn't ejaculate. If you beat your dick enough, you learn that ejaculation and orgasm are separate acts but tend to happen simultaneously. I don't have any interest in sex or women right now so I'ma let my balls hang and be in pain for a while. These shits heavier than a motherfucker. I could crush diamonds with my balls.
My sister told me she took a Plan B 24 hours later and she didn't get pregnant so I should relax. I haven't relaxed at all, I can barely sleep. My family told me to move on with life, stop being such an extremist.
I prayed about this shit and I don't pray. I scheduled my vasectomy appointment. Gonna get that shit next week. Every woman I ever known is blocked and it feels good.
If I'ma have a fucking kid, it's just gonna be one.
❤
