Death
So being open with your woman is now nonsense?Nah, I don't open up to anyone really. The few times I have with chicks it ended up being weaponized against me so I stopped with that nonsense early on.
So being open with your woman is now nonsense?
If every time you stuck your hand in fire, and you experienced pain and got burned for doing it, would you not learn to stop sticking your hand in fire?
Would you not talk about sticking your hand in fire as if it was "nonsense"???
Look, I get it: Y'all want men to be vulnerable and soft and shit. The problem is men's expressions of vulnerability are routinely used against them by the women they open up to, in some cases from early childhood and by their own mothers. Y'all want us to open up more? Stop using the convos your sons, brothers, cousins and friends come to you with against them. Don't keep it in the tuck to fire back at him later on down the line. I've said this in another thread: Once that wall goes up early in life it's near impossible to tear it down for other women.
I got a couple of my boys and my cousins that I've been able to kick it with on a level like that. We all grown ass men dealing with grown ass men shit, and it can get to you in some pretty severe ways so you need someone to talk about this shit with. The difference is that none of us would ever in a million years think to betray the other by using that information against him. I wouldn't even tell my cousin's siblings what one may have told me was bothering him.
As someone who grew up with a mother who did that I 100% get the sentiment...but I also don't hold all accountable for the mistakes a few made. That's not only not fair to them but you risk missing out on some great things that way.
So by your logic since I've been cheated on in the past then I'm justified to treat any other man I encounter as a cheater....If every time you stuck your hand in fire, and you experienced pain and got burned for doing it, would you not learn to stop sticking your hand in fire?
Would you not talk about sticking your hand in fire as if it was "nonsense"???
Look, I get it: Y'all want men to be vulnerable and soft and shit. The problem is men's expressions of vulnerability are routinely used against them by the women they open up to, in some cases from early childhood and by their own mothers. Y'all want us to open up more? Stop using the convos your sons, brothers, cousins and friends come to you with against them. Don't keep it in the tuck to fire back at him later on down the line. I've said this in another thread: Once that wall goes up early in life it's near impossible to tear it down for other women.
I got a couple of my boys and my cousins that I've been able to kick it with on a level like that. We all grown ass men dealing with grown ass men shit, and it can get to you in some pretty severe ways so you need someone to talk about this shit with. The difference is that none of us would ever in a million years think to betray the other by using that information against him. I wouldn't even tell my cousin's siblings what one may have told me was bothering him.
So by your logic since I've been cheated on in the past then I'm justified to treat any other man I encounter as a cheater....
And I get that boys don't get be as emotional as girls growing up, but that doesn't excuse not openly communicating with your partner as an adult. We all have things that have happened in our childhood that shaped us, that needed correction as we become critical thinking adults. If you know better, then do better...
Fam... I was married for 20 years, I really don't think I've missed out on much.
He said he doesn't open up to women because of his past interactions with women. How is that any different from what I said?You’re making a straw man argument. That’s not what he said. I disagree with his conclusion, but if you’re gonna have a good faith discussion about it, that use what he actually said.
Why would you want to be with a woman that you can't vulnerable with???
Then you probably know that considering opening up to your woman nonsense isn't the best way to maintain a strong relationship
Me, I think it's more that dudes rather not be vulnerable at all.
That said the whole "Never share your feelings with a woman cause she'll use them against you" mindset is weird. Like ya'll are with chicks that you think will use any opportunity they can to hurt you but at the same time fearlessly sticking your dick a woman's equivalent to a rat trap. Ok...
Me, I think it's more that dudes rather not be vulnerable at all.
That said the whole "Never share your feelings with a woman cause she'll use them against you" mindset is weird. Like ya'll are with chicks that you think will use any opportunity they can to hurt you but at the same time fearlessly sticking your dick a woman's equivalent to a rat trap. Ok...