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This is causing a stir on my FB. What you think?

The average person cant afford lawyers and blah blah but can buy the latest jays and phones and shit tho. Priorities.

Quit making excuses for these bum ass niggas.
 
Kandy said:
Iā€™ve said the system is FUCKED UP. Are you skimming what Iā€™m saying ? None of this shit should exist. No parent should have to fight to see their own seed. This ainā€™t a perfect world tho.

Soooooo does that mean because the system is fucked up, sit back and say fuck it? Or does it mean try?
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Yeah I remember reading it now. I just woke up Kandy. I'm trying to decide on coffee or bang.
 
The statistic in that meme was pulled out of someone's ass, but I do think that a larger conversation needs had about how men and women handle custody arrangements.

I've been that kid in the middle of a custody battle and it definitely effected my relationship with my mom for a while when I was in my early 20's.
 
DOS_patos said:
i cant fully agree with this...
i think a child seeing a parent fighting the other parent to see them...i think the trauma will be less hurtful and at least they will feel wanted.
to not try because of potential trauma can cause abandonment issues.

Yea, i didnt fight for you because i didnt want you seeing that.

that will not go over with any child
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I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they have a fair amount of data showing that custody battles have pretty negative effects on the kids. Maybe what you're saying is true at the outset, but at some point it becomes too much.

Kandy said:
And you missed my point when I said if you fight and lose. You still tried. I been saying the shit the whole thread.
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I guess we were talking past each other. I was never referring to dudes that don't even try to have a relationship with their kids. I was talking about guys who tried and failed due to the mother and court system.
 
The Lonious Monk said:
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they have a fair amount of data showing that custody battles have pretty negative effects on the kids. Maybe what you're saying is true at the outset, but at some point it becomes too much.



I guess we were talking past each other. I was never referring to dudes that don't even try to have a relationship with their kids. I was talking about guys who tried and failed due to the mother and court system.
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you are right it becomes too much....but not because of any fault of your own.

thats like seeing your child bullied and you get tired of helping stop the bully and allow them to get beat because it becomes too much for you.

open communication with your child is whats needed to let them know why things are the way they are.

if they choose to stay with the toxic parent...ok...you did what you was supposed to do.
they may not understand until they have kids of their own but they will get it.
and this is why we should celebrate men who do the right thing.
because at the end of the day...alot of dudes would walk away without ever trying
 
DOS_patos said:
you are right it becomes too much....but not because of any fault of your own.

thats like seeing your child bullied and you get tired of helping stop the bully and allow them to get beat because it becomes too much for you.

open communication with your child is whats needed to let them know why things are the way they are.

if they choose to stay with the toxic parent...ok...you did what you was supposed to do.
they may not understand until they have kids of their own but they will get it.
and this is why we should celebrate men who do the right thing.
because at the end of the day...alot of dudes would walk away without ever trying
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The bullying case is different. I'm not talking about times when the mother is directly hurting the child and the father is trying to help. I'm just talking about times when the mother and father are fighting each other and the kid witnesses it. Neither parent may want to hurt the child, but it happens nonetheless. Sometimes the father bows out. You can't knock a guy for that. A dude I know was in that situation. When his 9 y/o started pissing the bed and had to get a therapist, he just let it go. He didn't want to screw the child up. He still has plans of reconnecting. He just doesn't want the kid damaged.
 
The Lonious Monk said:
The bullying case is different. I'm not talking about times when the mother is directly hurting the child and the father is trying to help. I'm just talking about times when the mother and father are fighting each other and the kid witnesses it. Neither parent may want to hurt the child, but it happens nonetheless. Sometimes the father bows out. You can't knock a guy for that. A dude I know was in that situation. When his 9 y/o started pissing the bed and had to get a therapist, he just let it go. He didn't want to screw the child up. He still has plans of reconnecting. He just doesn't want the kid damaged.
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Right....but he's looking at it wrong.
Parents fighting can be a good thing
He can show his son....there are times to walk away and times to stand and fight. And his love for his child is one of those times you fight.
His child may be acting out because he's confused and doesn't understand. This is a teachable moment.
Him walking away is showing him he doesn't matter and it's ok to walk away from those you love.
 
SHould be very interesting here in the next few years as the age of ignorance is coming to an end.

Kids that were kept from parents hit a huge spike in the 00's.

I suspect a sharp incline in teen on mom domestic violence cases coming.

Kinda like that episode of Black Mirror, Archangel.

That episode was cathartic as fuck!
 
DOS_patos said:
you are right it becomes too much....but not because of any fault of your own.

thats like seeing your child bullied and you get tired of helping stop the bully and allow them to get beat because it becomes too much for you.

open communication with your child is whats needed to let them know why things are the way they are.

if they choose to stay with the toxic parent...ok...you did what you was supposed to do.
they may not understand until they have kids of their own but they will get it.
and this is why we should celebrate men who do the right thing.
because at the end of the day...alot of dudes would walk away without ever trying
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I mean at some point you as the parent just going to have to realize your child is a bitch ass nigga. So yes it can become too much for you as the parent.
 
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If stress from a chick is all excuse a dude needs to abandon his kid/kids he isn't shit anyway
 
Ironman said:
If stress from a chick is all excuse a dude needs to abandon his kid/kids he isn't shit anyway
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real shit.

what if a kid had a disease or was paralyzed and you need to be at the hospital and work with 4 hours of sleep for 18 years.? *edit*(or the rest of their life....im sorry.(sounding like i aint shit right now)
niggas gonna be like too much work...im out.
 
DOS_patos said:
real shit.

what if a kid had a disease or was paralyzed and you need to be at the hospital and work with 4 hours of sleep for 18 years.? *edit*(or the rest of their life....im sorry.(sounding like i aint shit right now)
niggas gonna be like too much work...im out.
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Still your kid be a father or don't have one
 
DOS_patos said:
Right....but he's looking at it wrong.
Parents fighting can be a good thing
He can show his son....there are times to walk away and times to stand and fight. And his love for his child is one of those times you fight.
His child may be acting out because he's confused and doesn't understand. This is a teachable moment.
Him walking away is showing him he doesn't matter and it's ok to walk away from those you love.
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Disagree wholeheartedly. There is no up side to parents fighting like that. There are plenty of better ways for a father to show his children love.
 
The Lonious Monk said:
Disagree wholeheartedly. There is no up side to parents fighting like that. There are plenty of better ways for a father to show his children love.
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im listening.

because if he dont start it but reacts......he has a right.
and unless hes in court.......like the next day........the kid gonna hate him bruh.

he gotta take that on the chin.

he was smiling during the party.....he cant run out on the bill.
 
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