This is causing a stir on my FB. What you think?

[IP360]

We live in different states. So I had to pop up unannounced to see my daughter and i bought her a phone to avoid her momma, but till this day I still can't see my daughter unless I travel to Louisiana to see her. She a teenager now and understands the situation her mom created. We have a great relationship. I stopped sending her mom money too since my daughter can't come see me. My daughter directly gets allowances and money for school activities.

I have a question. Since your daughter is old enough to understand what's going on...does she hold any resentment towards her mama? Knowing she's pretty much keeping you away from her?

 

[Shotta]

I have a question. Since your daughter is old enough to understand what's going on...does she hold any resentment towards her mama? Knowing she's pretty much keeping you away from her?

my daughter is really smart for her age.. like potentially graduating early with a 3.8. she does not mention any resentment. She just says you know how momma is... lol

bruh shit is obvious. bih just had her fourth child from her fourth baby daddy. i'm glad i left that bird, but that probably what she wanted.

ppl from the hood wanna get out, outsiders wanna get in... the world is crazy

 

[keemz]

Courts geared to the women. Not often the father gets the good end of the stick

facts . my friend going thru hell right now with his baby mom. she wants more money from him while she getting baby bonus and even working two fuckin jobs smfh

 

[The Lonious Monk]

Seems to me niggas rather sit back and say fuck it and make excuses than fight to see their children.

Same ones that swear they will do anything for their seed but won’t fight to be in their kids lives.

I don't agree with him trying to put a number to it, but I think you're oversimplifying the matter too.

As someone else already noted, the family court system is heavily biased toward mothers. There are plenty of dudes with resources that burn their worlds down trying to get a fair deal for their kids and come out with nothing to show for it. Now imagine how it works for those who don't have those resources. I'd agree that a lot of the dudes that say shit like what was posted in the OP are just looking for an excuse to be absent. However, I know for a fact, there are also dudes out there who are absent because they realized how bad the fight was for the kids. Right or wrong, some dudes thing the kids are better off without them than having to deal with the trauma that results from a war between mommy and daddy.

 

[Loquacious]

I don't agree with him trying to put a number to it, but I think you're oversimplifying the matter too.

As someone else already noted, the family court system is heavily biased toward mothers. There are plenty of dudes with resources that burn their worlds down trying to get a fair deal for their kids and come out with nothing to show for it. Now imagine how it works for those who don't have those resources. I'd agree that a lot of the dudes that say shit like what was posted in the OP are just looking for an excuse to be absent. However, I know for a fact, there are also dudes out there who are absent because they realized how bad the fight was for the kids. Right or wrong, some dudes thing the kids are better off without them than having to deal with the trauma that results from a war between mommy and daddy.

Nah. That’s bullshit.

 

[DMorgan]

There is some truth too it plain and simple. It's not a one size fits all situation either.

 

[DOS_patos]

Lmao at being absent from your child’s life because of someone else

dudes claim this all the time

 

[1/2]

its worded wrong to blame the woman

if it said 65% of children have absentee fathers because women are mostly awarded custody/support/etc, or something like that....it makes a little sense

but the reason men dont get the kids as much is entirely because of our "behavior"




on a HUGE side note tho...how old is this guy?....the shit I be seeing out here, these young broads are a different breed

 

[The Mad Titan]

Ppl don't understand that "fighting to see" your child as a man, especially a black man is not some just go down to the court and fill out some paperwork shit. You are literally fighting the government. The judges, the refs, the police, the clerks, you know the same system that never gives us justice any other time sure as hell don't care about our family problems. The trifle ass bitches that play keep away know that.

Protection orders are an effective weapon of choice. A woman can go down to the court, fill out a form, have the fee for the filing of said form waived and request an emergency hearing where she can go before the judge the same day. All without you having the least bit of an idea this is going on let alone being served and having your day in court. 9 times outta 10, the judge grants it because no judge wants to be the one to deny a protection order and something actually happens to the woman.

Had this happen to me more times than I can count. Can you imagine what it feels like to show up to just to exercise your parenting time only to be arrested for some shit you didn't even know about? And yes, the police can legally arrest you on a ppo that you haven't even been served on. You go to jail, get out, file to have it dismissed. A court date is granted, she doesn't show, it gets dismissed and she files another one. Rinse and repeat.

You fought to get your parenting time and schedule into an order? Great! Now good luck getting that shit enforced if she doesn't comply. Oh you'll just call the police? Well they will tell you it's a civil issue (despite the fact that the police have the authority to enforce a court order) and you have to file a complaint. Hearing gets set, she either doesn't show and it gets adjourned, or she shows and gets the old "why aren't you complying with my order" speech and both of you leave. Rinse and repeat.

This ain't no one off or extreme case, I've sat in these family courts and watch many many men go through the same shit. It's a whole lot more to this shit than ppl want to admit

 

[The Mad Titan]

And I hate to say it, but I can understand (not condone) why some men give up and walk away. Everybody ain't built for this. I lost my house, my job, my car everything I worked hard for over this. I've paid over 100k in child support over the years. I've been arrested in front of my kids, spent weeks in the county, escorted out of schools just for showing up to bring my kids a birthday lunch.

I been treated like a deadbeat piece of shit after catching 3 buses to friend of the cunt, sorry court, to drop off my child support. I've put myself in debt paying support and still having to buy them clothes and food because she wasn't. Think anybody gave a shit? Nope.

I've had to sneak and spend time with my kids at the park. I've had them refuse to come out after showing up for scheduled parenting time. Had my two oldest refuse to talk to me for two years because of her manipulation. The list goes on and on. So much shit I went through that I couldn't even begin to type it all out.

All of that, fought for custody for years and the only way I "won" is the bitch decided to up and move in with her boyfriend at the time. Leaving the kids to fend for themselves. Even then, the judge gave her several chances. Even when she told the judge to her face that she didn't want custody anymore. Of course by that time, the kids were all teens and fucked up from her mental abuse.

Till this day the relationship with me and my two oldest is strained. She's filled their heads with so much bullshit we don't even talk. I look around and all I got is scorched earth to show for fighting the good fight.


So yeah, sometimes I ask myself, was it worth it?

 

[ChicagoFigure]

And I hate to say it, but I can understand (not condone) why some men give up and walk away. Everybody ain't built for this. I lost my house, my job, my car everything I worked hard for over this. I've paid over 100k in child support over the years. I've been arrested in front of my kids, spent weeks in the county, escorted out of schools just for showing up to bring my kids a birthday lunch.

I been treated like a deadbeat piece of shit after catching 3 buses to friend of the cunt, sorry court, to drop off my child support. I've put myself in debt paying support and still having to buy them clothes and food because she wasn't. Think anybody gave a shit? Nope.

I've had to sneak and spend time with my kids at the park. I've had them refuse to come out after showing up for scheduled parenting time. Had my two oldest refuse to talk to me for two years because of her manipulation. The list goes on and on. So much shit I went through that I couldn't even begin to type it all out.

All of that, fought for custody for years and the only way I "won" is the bitch decided to up and move in with her boyfriend at the time. Leaving the kids to fend for themselves. Even then, the judge gave her several chances. Even when she told the judge to her face that she didn't want custody anymore. Of course by that time, the kids were all teens and fucked up from her mental abuse.

Till this day the relationship with me and my two oldest is strained. She's filled their heads with so much bullshit we don't even talk. I look around and all I got is scorched earth to show for fighting the good fight.


So yeah, sometimes I ask myself, was it worth it?

Goated for ur persistence thru all that fucked up shit. Bc theres dead beats whos bm doesnt even pursue child support. Dude walks around with no accountability.

And theres single mothers who keep their child but always tryna throw em off on someone else first chance they get.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

Nah. That’s bullshit.

*shrugs* I'm not sure how you can call some people's reality bullshit, but whatever. If you really care, just go look up some of those men's rights advocacy groups and see what they actually stand for. A lot of them are fools that just couldn't get sex from the girls they liked. Those guys usually get dismissed because people act like they are the same as whites whining about reverse racism. Some are different though because there are scenarios in this country where men can be fucked over and they usually have to deal with familial rights.

 

[Duwop]

Statistics are always hilarious

 

[Loquacious]

*shrugs* I'm not sure how you can call some people's reality bullshit, but whatever. If you really care, just go look up some of those men's rights advocacy groups and see what they actually stand for. A lot of them are fools that just couldn't get sex from the girls they liked. Those guys usually get dismissed because people act like they are the same as whites whining about reverse racism. Some are different though because there are scenarios in this country where men can be fucked over and they usually have to deal with familial rights.

My mama a whole custody/child support lawyer. I ain’t tryna hear the bullshit.

If you ain’t fighting to see your kids. You a busta. PERIODT

 

[konceptjones]

Ppl don't understand that "fighting to see" your child as a man, especially a black man is not some just go down to the court and fill out some paperwork shit. You are literally fighting the government. The judges, the refs, the police, the clerks, you know the same system that never gives us justice any other time sure as hell don't care about our family problems. The trifle ass bitches that play keep away know that.

Protection orders are an effective weapon of choice. A woman can go down to the court, fill out a form, have the fee for the filing of said form waived and request an emergency hearing where she can go before the judge the same day. All without you having the least bit of an idea this is going on let alone being served and having your day in court. 9 times outta 10, the judge grants it because no judge wants to be the one to deny a protection order and something actually happens to the woman.

Had this happen to me more times than I can count. Can you imagine what it feels like to show up to just to exercise your parenting time only to be arrested for some shit you didn't even know about? And yes, the police can legally arrest you on a ppo that you haven't even been served on. You go to jail, get out, file to have it dismissed. A court date is granted, she doesn't show, it gets dismissed and she files another one. Rinse and repeat.

You fought to get your parenting time and schedule into an order? Great! Now good luck getting that shit enforced if she doesn't comply. Oh you'll just call the police? Well they will tell you it's a civil issue (despite the fact that the police have the authority to enforce a court order) and you have to file a complaint. Hearing gets set, she either doesn't show and it gets adjourned, or she shows and gets the old "why aren't you complying with my order" speech and both of you leave. Rinse and repeat.

This ain't no one off or extreme case, I've sat in these family courts and watch many many men go through the same shit. It's a whole lot more to this shit than ppl want to admit

I had a homie that went through some similar shit with Wayne County FOTC. Dude had been arrested so many fuckin times it was ridiculous. And the broad would intentionally push his buttons to get him to fly off the handle just so she could call the cops and have him thrown in jail which would make her claims when she went to file a ppo seem more legit. Dude couldn't really keep a job very long 'cause he kept getting arrested while trying to go see his kids. Last time we spoke he basically gave up on trying to see them and just sent child support. Dude was broken completely because of it all. If he wasn't at one of his jobs he was at home doing nothing.

 

[2max]

This is why i keep single moms at a minimum

 

[konceptjones]

My mama a whole custody/child support lawyer. I ain’t tryna hear the bullshit.

If you ain’t fighting to see your kids. You a busta. PERIODT

The problem is having to fight in the first place. It should just happen, no need to fight for it. Custody should be a matter of giving the non-custodial parent ample time to spend with his/her child without interference from the custodial parent and if said parent DOES interfere then there SHOULD be an automatic charge of contempt of court against them and subsequent jail time and/or fines.

PERIODT.

 

[IP360]

Ppl don't understand that "fighting to see" your child as a man, especially a black man is not some just go down to the court and fill out some paperwork shit. You are literally fighting the government. The judges, the refs, the police, the clerks, you know the same system that never gives us justice any other time sure as hell don't care about our family problems. The trifle ass bitches that play keep away know that.

Protection orders are an effective weapon of choice. A woman can go down to the court, fill out a form, have the fee for the filing of said form waived and request an emergency hearing where she can go before the judge the same day. All without you having the least bit of an idea this is going on let alone being served and having your day in court. 9 times outta 10, the judge grants it because no judge wants to be the one to deny a protection order and something actually happens to the woman.

Had this happen to me more times than I can count. Can you imagine what it feels like to show up to just to exercise your parenting time only to be arrested for some shit you didn't even know about? And yes, the police can legally arrest you on a ppo that you haven't even been served on. You go to jail, get out, file to have it dismissed. A court date is granted, she doesn't show, it gets dismissed and she files another one. Rinse and repeat.

You fought to get your parenting time and schedule into an order? Great! Now good luck getting that shit enforced if she doesn't comply. Oh you'll just call the police? Well they will tell you it's a civil issue (despite the fact that the police have the authority to enforce a court order) and you have to file a complaint. Hearing gets set, she either doesn't show and it gets adjourned, or she shows and gets the old "why aren't you complying with my order" speech and both of you leave. Rinse and repeat.

This ain't no one off or extreme case, I've sat in these family courts and watch many many men go through the same shit. It's a whole lot more to this shit than ppl want to admit

And I hate to say it, but I can understand (not condone) why some men give up and walk away. Everybody ain't built for this. I lost my house, my job, my car everything I worked hard for over this. I've paid over 100k in child support over the years. I've been arrested in front of my kids, spent weeks in the county, escorted out of schools just for showing up to bring my kids a birthday lunch.

I been treated like a deadbeat piece of shit after catching 3 buses to friend of the cunt, sorry court, to drop off my child support. I've put myself in debt paying support and still having to buy them clothes and food because she wasn't. Think anybody gave a shit? Nope.

I've had to sneak and spend time with my kids at the park. I've had them refuse to come out after showing up for scheduled parenting time. Had my two oldest refuse to talk to me for two years because of her manipulation. The list goes on and on. So much shit I went through that I couldn't even begin to type it all out.

All of that, fought for custody for years and the only way I "won" is the bitch decided to up and move in with her boyfriend at the time. Leaving the kids to fend for themselves. Even then, the judge gave her several chances. Even when she told the judge to her face that she didn't want custody anymore. Of course by that time, the kids were all teens and fucked up from her mental abuse.

Till this day the relationship with me and my two oldest is strained. She's filled their heads with so much bullshit we don't even talk. I look around and all I got is scorched earth to show for fighting the good fight.


So yeah, sometimes I ask myself, was it worth it?

This is beyond fucc'd up. Man I hope your kids break that mental shackle she has on them. Maybe as they get older, they'll see and understand what you've sacrificed.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

My mama a whole custody/child support lawyer. I ain’t tryna hear the bullshit.

If you ain’t fighting to see your kids. You a busta. PERIODT

I think you're misunderstanding my point. I'm saying there are a lot of dudes out there who do fight to see their kids and lose.

 

[DOS_patos]

Seems to me niggas rather sit back and say fuck it and make excuses than fight to see their children.

Same ones that swear they will do anything for their seed but won’t fight to be in their kids lives.

you are right.
alot of dudes are like this......