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Texas Man Murdered GF Over Abortion

SneakDZA said:
WTF?

Y'all ever notice a lack of women participating in these types of threads and wonder why? Shit like this is probably why.
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What's controversial? There some shit about how men behave that women don't know anything about because they aren't men. The same way there are aspects of the women's experiences that we as men can't speak on because we don't understand it.

BlackRain said:
It's also funny because niggas sure have no issue telling women about women's issues
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Like what?
 
The Lonious Monk said:
The bold is the crux of the matter.

Women act like there is just some culture among men that celebrates sexual assault and other deviant behavior. There really isn't. I'm not going to say that bad behavior hasn't existed amongst males and been accepted. For instance, niggas used to grab ass all the time back in the day, but back then, dudes really didn't think it was wrong. As stupid as that might sound to women, a lot of dudes just thought that was part of the mating ritual After women became more vocal about how much they hate that shit, decent dudes stopped doing it and started checking others who did it. Women expect that same shit to be done when it comes to actual rape, sexual assault, and domestic abuse, but those are different situations. The dudes doing that shit know it's wrong, but they do it anyway because they are "bad guys." Decent dudes don't kick it with guys like that. The best any of us can do is tell chicks to stay from those guys or tell them how those guys think and go about targeting their victims. For whatever reason, women don't appreciate that. Like I've had a couple instances where I tried to tell chicks I knew to stay away from certain cats because I knew what type of shit those dudes were on, only to have to chicks tell me I was jealous or other silly shit. So I learned to just let them be.
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Yeah there is some deviant shit that is celebrated. The whole "let me get her drunk/high so she can be more open" shit is celebrated and accepted by some as normal. And even if you wanna make a distinction between something being celebrated vs being accepted neither is really a good thing. And decent men don't just accept shit they know is wrong. It's not that women don't appreciate being told what warning signs to look out for. It's that for one you can avoid the warning signs and still get caught up and also some of those warning signs are the very behaviors that as you say has been accepted as normal behavior when it really shouldn't be. That's why I said sometimes the forced self examination leads to some guilty feelings because it forces some to realize they've done some shit that may fall under that umbrella of making someone feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

I also think you're grossly overestimating what people will accept in terms of behavior as long as it's not being done in front of them. It's not specific to men but since this is the topic then that's the framework im using. While I do think most men wouldn't accept literally watching their homeboy beat a woman in front of them, there's also far too many who wouldn't ostracize or cut off someone who they knew was being abusive either if it's not being done in front of them. Or would even argue that if it's not physical and you can't physically see the damage then it can't be abusive. And I also revert back to what I said initially about the shit women say that happens to them that makes them often feel unsafe or uncomfortable and how many "decent" men will argue for their right and ability to do those things regardless. Alot of times the things some men think is ok really isn't but they won't listen because then they'd realize they're apart of the group they don't wanna be in.
 
Quick question,
So about this thread topic….so if dude putting hands on her while pregnant ….it had to be something he thought was ok to do what he did…..which really doesn’t matter because hitting is foul….. but shorty didn’t think an abortion would create another dv situation?
I don’t think anytime deserves hands but what should she have done if dude shown he’s free with his hands?
How can we protect her if she didn’t leave?

I’m kinda indirectly dealing with this now.
 
BlackRain said:
Yeah there is some deviant shit that is celebrated. The whole "let me get her drunk/high so she can be more open" shit is celebrated and accepted by some as normal. And even if you wanna make a distinction between something being celebrated vs being accepted neither is really a good thing. And decent men don't just accept shit they know is wrong. It's not that women don't appreciate being told what warning signs to look out for. It's that for one you can avoid the warning signs and still get caught up and also some of those warning signs are the very behaviors that as you say has been accepted as normal behavior when it really shouldn't be. That's why I said sometimes the forced self examination leads to some guilty feelings because it forces some to realize they've done some shit that may fall under that umbrella of making someone feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

I also think you're grossly overestimating what people will accept in terms of behavior as long as it's not being done in front of them. It's not specific to men but since this is the topic then that's the framework im using. While I do think most men wouldn't accept literally watching their homeboy beat a woman in front of them, there's also far too many who wouldn't ostracize or cut off someone who they knew was being abusive either if it's not being done in front of them. Or would even argue that if it's not physical and you can't physically see the damage then it can't be abusive. And I also revert back to what I said initially about the shit women say that happens to them that makes them often feel unsafe or uncomfortable and how many "decent" men will argue for their right and ability to do those things regardless. Alot of times the things some men think is ok really isn't but they won't listen because then they'd realize they're apart of the group they don't wanna be in.
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lol @ the bold. You're treating women like children. Women know what alcohol and drugs do to them. How can you argue that dudes using alcohol to loosen women up is deviant behavior if women willingly and knowingly engage in that? Now if you're talking about slipping drugs unknowingly into drinks or lying about spiking drinks to get women drunk without their knowledge, I'd agree that's deviant shit. But who really celebrates that? Everybody is forced to accept wrong shit that they can't change. That's part of life. Rapists exist. If I could snap my finger and erase them all, I would, but I can't and neither can any other decent dude.

A lot of the stuff you're saying in your second paragraph is true, but who's really calling those dudes decent? We've all made mistakes and been on the wrong side of shit, so I'm not saying you can't be decent and still sometimes be wrong. That said, part of being decent means changing your ways when you're confronted with your own wrong doing. If you're out there doing fucked up shit, and you cling to doing that because you don't want to give it up, you're not really decent. If you actually know and believe someone you associate with is abusive, but you don't cut them off because you have plausible deniability, you're probably not a decent dude.
 
BlackRain said:
Yeah there is some deviant shit that is celebrated. The whole "let me get her drunk/high so she can be more open" shit is celebrated and accepted by some as normal. And even if you wanna make a distinction between something being celebrated vs being accepted neither is really a good thing. And decent men don't just accept shit they know is wrong. It's not that women don't appreciate being told what warning signs to look out for. It's that for one you can avoid the warning signs and still get caught up and also some of those warning signs are the very behaviors that as you say has been accepted as normal behavior when it really shouldn't be. That's why I said sometimes the forced self examination leads to some guilty feelings because it forces some to realize they've done some shit that may fall under that umbrella of making someone feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

I also think you're grossly overestimating what people will accept in terms of behavior as long as it's not being done in front of them. It's not specific to men but since this is the topic then that's the framework im using. While I do think most men wouldn't accept literally watching their homeboy beat a woman in front of them, there's also far too many who wouldn't ostracize or cut off someone who they knew was being abusive either if it's not being done in front of them. Or would even argue that if it's not physical and you can't physically see the damage then it can't be abusive. And I also revert back to what I said initially about the shit women say that happens to them that makes them often feel unsafe or uncomfortable and how many "decent" men will argue for their right and ability to do those things regardless. Alot of times the things some men think is ok really isn't but they won't listen because then they'd realize they're apart of the group they don't wanna be in.
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You’d be surprised at what some dudes allow in their presence too.

So what’s the solution?
 
DOS_patos said:
Quick question,
So about this thread topic….so if dude putting hands on her while pregnant ….it had to be something he thought was ok to do what he did…..which really doesn’t matter because hitting is foul….. but shorty didn’t think an abortion would create another dv situation?
I don’t think anytime deserves hands but what should she have done if dude shown he’s free with his hands?
How can we protect her if she didn’t leave?

I’m kinda indirectly dealing with this now.
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Depends on if you're asking legally or morally as a society
 
@Sony Montana

druski.gif

[/QUOTE]

I get why he did it lol

That’s it

Whoops fucked up the quote @silverfoxx
 
The Lonious Monk said:
lol @ the bold. You're treating women like children. Women know what alcohol and drugs do to them. How can you argue that dudes using alcohol to loosen women up is deviant behavior if women willingly and knowingly engage in that? Now if you're talking about slipping drugs unknowingly into drinks or lying about spiking drinks to get women drunk without their knowledge, I'd agree that's deviant shit. But who really celebrates that? Everybody is forced to accept wrong shit that they can't change. That's part of life. Rapists exist. If I could snap my finger and erase them all, I would, but I can't and neither can any other decent dude.

A lot of the stuff you're saying in your second paragraph is true, but who's really calling those dudes decent? We've all made mistakes and been on the wrong side of shit, so I'm not saying you can't be decent and still sometimes be wrong. That said, part of being decent means changing your ways when you're confronted with your own wrong doing. If you're out there doing fucked up shit, and you cling to doing that because you don't want to give it up, you're not really decent. If you actually know and believe someone you associate with is abusive, but you don't cut them off because you have plausible deniability, you're probably not a decent dude.
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I'm not treating anyone like a child. Adults make their own decisions but to pretend as if decisions are made without any influence by situations and life experiences is disingenuous. And you did exactly what's been mentioned before which is injecting a group not being discussed out of some phantom feeling of being pointed out. Clearly given the topic I'm referring to people doing that without consent or pressuring somebody into doing some shit. Your wording is a give away too. You said "dudes using alcohol" as opposed to "a woman who chooses to." And that right there is the key difference.

As for the 2nd part that's exactly my point. Alot of people who view themselves as decent really aren't. And they shut down discussions that could lead to certain things being called out to avoid having to deal with that reality.
 
SneakDZA said:
WTF?

Y'all ever notice a lack of women participating in these types of threads and wonder why? Shit like this is probably why.
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Oh lol but when I say I’m coming at all the straight men. His post is saying “it’s not everybody so don’t talk about like it’s everybody but im a man and don’t really know where the gripe comes from”
 
SneakDZA said:
WTF?

Y'all ever notice a lack of women participating in these types of threads and wonder why? Shit like this is probably why.
Click to expand...


Literally said women don’t be knowing but let them say it about us and these niggas got an agenda handbook ready
 
BlackRain said:
I'm not treating anyone like a child. Adults make their own decisions but to pretend as if decisions are made without any influence by situations and life experiences is disingenuous. And you did exactly what's been mentioned before which is injecting a group not being discussed out of some phantom feeling of being pointed out. Clearly given the topic I'm referring to people doing that without consent or pressuring somebody into doing some shit. Your wording is a give away too. You said "dudes using alcohol" as opposed to "a woman who chooses to." And that right there is the key difference.

As for the 2nd part that's exactly my point. Alot of people who view themselves as decent really aren't. And they shut down discussions that could lead to certain things being called out to avoid having to deal with that reality.
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I don't know what you mean by injecting a group not being discussed. What group did I inject? You listed the use of alcohol/weed to get sex as something that is celebrated. I suppose you can say that guys celebrate the usefulness of alcohol for that purpose, though that's not really a word I would use for it. However, I haven't seen many guys celebrating getting girls drunk forcefully or without their consent. And yes, I said "dudes using alcohol" because I was responding to your framing. You're the one that made it seem like pushing alcohol is something that men do rather than being fair and acknowledging that drinking and smoking are things that men and women both freely engage in when interacting. Yes, there are dudes that misuse drugs and alcohol to get what they want from women, and those dudes are snakes. Who is celebrating them?

Fair enough, indecent people never want their bad acts to come to light. My issue you with you and a couple others is that sometimes you make bad faith arguments, and when others shut those down you try to make it seem like we are just trying to stomp out healthy discussions. I'm 100% fine with having tough discussions, but if you're starting those discussion of disingenuous talking points, those conversations will never be productive.
 
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