The bold makes no sense. The two things are not mutually exclusive. She can be hurting and selfish at the same time. I don't understand how people are ignoring the obvious. What's happening is obvious and father himself said it. The mother thought that when the daughter came back, it was going to be some kind of fairytale reunion and they were all going to be one big happy family. When she was faced with the reality that it wasn't going to be that easy, she basically gave up on the girl. How is that not selfish? Yes, the mother is hurt. Yes, she has the right to be hurt. But she's completely refusing to acknowledge what the girl has been through and is writing the girl off because she's not instantly falling in line.
Again, everyone's putting so much emphasis on the mother. I get it. Mothers carry children they have a special bond. But we can look at the father too, you know. He lost his first child too. He's hurt by the fact that the girl still has a relationship with the kidnapper too. He's got his own new family and people that need him too. Yet, he's still trying and he seems to sincerely want a relationship with the girl. Why is the mother given a pass for basically doing the opposite. Maybe we can say that mothers feel the pain of loss more acutely, but not to the point where they can't just wild out without criticism.