Living with Parents.

Grandfather bought this house in 1965

It went to his kids in his death. They wanted to sell it, my mom bought it from them in the mid 90's

I'm her only child and my name been on it for the past 10 years or so as well


So I'm the 3rd generation in this house. Hopefully I can pass it on in some capacity in the next 30 years to my kids... We'll see
 
LurkerSix said:
IDK about this, my theory is its from white lies about success. I mean look at white people and their kids now. Most of them act like their kid went out on their own and did everything and the kids act like that too. But when you really look into it, they left at 18 in the car their parents bought/pay for. Went to college that their parents or grandparents pay for, get a house or apartment their parents pay for and usually get a good paying job that their parents lined up for them & turn around telling people how they did it all on their own through hard work.

AA's really believed their lies, so now they think their 18 year olds are grown, should have it all figured out and be out on their own like they were or how they see other "successful" kids doing it. No other culture in the world has this mindset. They all stick together & move as a unit to ensure they're all secure and not struggling.

I've seen people try an justify it by saying they need to know the struggle and it makes them stronger years down the line, blah blah blah. Well congrats, your kid survived the struggled, built a bunch of character, and those "weaker" kids that had a bunch of family support are way further ahead in life/financially and are your kids bosses.

I mean, if we being real, you dont really start figuring life out till your mid 20's. So if you kid has no idea what to do in their late teens/ early 20's, my question is what have you been doing and what are you going to do to help? If you're solution is to throw them out, i see why they're lost.
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LOL @, "you dont really start figuring life out till your mid 20's"

I'm 46 and I'm still trying to figure it out.

I remember when I was in my teens and 20s and my parents were in their 50s. I thought they were old.

Now I'm in my 40s and my parents are in their 70s. They finally have life figured out but they can't get around like they used to.


You're 20s are the perfect time to chase your dreams and make mistakes.

By the time you're in your 30s you stop chasing dreams and get serious.

Your 40s is your second childhood.

I haven't turned 50 yet, but if you look around the world is run by people in their 50s and 60s. CEOs, Governers, Senators, Judges, Police Chiefs, those guys are all in their 50s and 60s.
 
Cain said:
At 20 if you don't have a plan you got to go.

You're either going to college, work, or military.
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Getting put out at 20 with no plan is a recipe for disaster.

I get what you saying tho. It depends on my kid, for the most part I wouldn’t put them out if I felt like they weren’t set up to succeed. If they was being overly disrespectful I’d want em out.
 
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5 Grand said:
LOL @, "you dont really start figuring life out till your mid 20's"

I'm 46 and I'm still trying to figure it out.

I remember when I was in my teens and 20s and my parents were in their 50s. I thought they were old.

Now I'm in my 40s and my parents are in their 70s. They finally have life figured out but they can't get around like they used to.


You're 20s are the perfect time to chase your dreams and make mistakes.

By the time you're in your 30s you stop chasing dreams and get serious.

Your 40s is your second childhood.

I haven't turned 50 yet, but if you look around the world is run by people in their 50s and 60s. CEOs, Governers, Senators, Judges, Police Chiefs, those guys are all in their 50s and 60s.
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I should of been a lil more clear. But I ment you start figuring stuff out, not that you have it figured out. By mid 20's most people start to peep the fuckery and start questioning why they hang with certain people.
But I dont think at any age you should stop chasing your dreams. Might have to change how you approach it depending on the situation tho.
 
I turned 23 just 5 days after I got married and moved into my wife and I first rental home. Prior to that, I stayed with either my dad or my maternal grandmother (who actually raised me from birth) whenever I was home from college.

I met my wife in the summer of 2002 while home from school. We got married in March of 2003. I stayed home and finished school up there. In the 17 years since then we moved from Wichita, KS to the Atlanta metro, had two daughters, bought our first home, fought cancer with the youngest one and buried her here in Georgia.

I've always said that my daughters will always have a place to live. I'm in no hurry for the one that I have remaining to leave. Ideally, my home will be her primary residence until she gets married or until she feels secure enough to get her own place.
 
How many people have houses that have been in the family for generations though?

How many have a house they acquired thru inheritance?

Do your parents own their home? What are the plans when they die? Does it stay in the family? It's it sold? Rented out?
 
Chi-town B said:
Is there a difference between sons and daughters in how long each can stay?
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I think parents push the sons out so they can toughen em up, and learn how to survive and grind. They say best life lessons come from your own experience.

Girls on the other hand are coddled and parents want them to stay till they grey and old. I've been guilty of saying it I'll say in a heart beat baby girl can stay here with me forever. But nah I'll went her to get out and experience life away from me and her mom. Same goes for my son
 
Duwop said:
How many people have houses that have been in the family for generations though?

How many have a house they acquired thru inheritance?

Do your parents own their home? What are the plans when they die? Does it stay in the family? It's it sold? Rented out?
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True shit
 
when I moved out at 22 I was ready but not ready was scared to take that 1st step my mom jokingly said when you leave dont come back. My dad on the other hand was more concerned and asked was I sure if I wanted to leave and was like you can stay a little while longer. I was like nah time to go and do my thing. But boy once I got out ohhhhhh weeeeee freeeeeeeeedom. I had it at home but ain't nothing like yo motherfucking own shit
 
Duwop said:
How many people have houses that have been in the family for generations though?

How many have a house they acquired thru inheritance?

Do your parents own their home? What are the plans when they die? Does it stay in the family? It's it sold? Rented out?
Click to expand...


I just recently took a course about racism.

The instructor (and the book) basically said that that's the #1 discrepancy between Blacks and Whites in America. It goes all the way back to our grandparents and great grandparents.

Back in the 50s and 60s things were easier for White people. That's indisputable. I doubt there's a White person in America that would dispute that.

So what was happening was after WWII the government created a G.I. Bill. Basically the automobile was perfected, they built all of the roads and highways, and had unlimited resources. They could go to Africa or South America or wherever and get whatever they wanted; lumber, rubber, gas, etc.

Prior to WWII people either lived in cities or on farms. The suburbs hadn't been built yet. So after WWII they built the suburbs. If you were a White veteran they'd set you up in the suburbs with a job so you could afford to pay your mortgage.

Things were different for Black people. Rather than building suburbs for Black people to live in, they created the projects. A building, or set of buildings for people with low income. And the beauty of it was that it was affordable for anybody. They just wanted 1/3 of whatever you're making. So if you were a janitor or a cashier at McDonalds they'd take 1/3 of what you make and you can live in an apartment in the projects. But that leads to complacency. There's no reason to get out because the cost of living in the projects is so low/affordable.

That was in the 50s. Our grandparents and great grandparents generation. Those white grandparents passed their homes down to their children, who passed it down to their children.

But Black people in the projects had nothing to pass down because they didn't own the projects. They just lived there.


Now in 2020 the biggest discrepancies between Whites and Blacks isn't income, it's inheritance. On average, Black people inherit nothing when their parents die. Nada.

When White people die they usually pass down their home to their children.


And that's one of the biggest disparities between Whites and Blacks in America.

And it was planned out from the start.
 
Duwop said:
How many people have houses that have been in the family for generations though?

How many have a house they acquired thru inheritance?

Do your parents own their home? What are the plans when they die? Does it stay in the family? It's it sold? Rented out?
Click to expand...
When my grandmother passed they was trying to keep the house in the family it was gone go to me but I was 16 when she passed so that was a no go. Got rented out to my cousin for a while then was vacant then other cousin purchased it stayed in it a good bit then sold it.

Thing is if you got a family house and it's s big family everybody sees money instead of keeping the house in the family. In the case of my grandmother is 8 of em lot of conflict was going on some didn't care some did. I do wish I could've been in it though. But some of the stuff I heard I'd have to line out some of my aunts and uncle's. Especially if they sold the house to me
 
5 Grand said:
I just recently took a course about racism.

The instructor (and the book) basically said that that's the #1 discrepancy between Blacks and Whites in America. It goes all the way back to our grandparents and great grandparents.

Back in the 50s and 60s things were easier for White people. That's indisputable. I doubt there's a White person in America that would dispute that.

So what was happening was after WWII the government created a G.I. Bill. Basically the automobile was perfected, they built all of the roads and highways, and had unlimited resources. They could go to Africa or South America or wherever and get whatever they wanted; lumber, rubber, gas, etc.

Prior to WWII people either lived in cities or on farms. The suburbs hadn't been built yet. So after WWII they built the suburbs. If you were a White veteran they'd set you up in the suburbs with a job so you could afford to pay your mortgage.

Things were different for Black people. Rather than building suburbs for Black people to live in, they created the projects. A building, or set of buildings for people with low income. And the beauty of it was that it was affordable for anybody. They just wanted 1/3 of whatever you're making. So if you were a janitor or a cashier at McDonalds they'd take 1/3 of what you make and you can live in an apartment in the projects. But that leads to complacency. There's no reason to get out because the cost of living in the projects is so low/affordable.

That was in the 50s. Our grandparents and great grandparents generation. Those white grandparents passed their homes down to their children, who passed it down to their children.

But Black people in the projects had nothing to pass down because they didn't own the projects. They just lived there.


Now in 2020 the biggest discrepancies between Whites and Blacks isn't income, it's inheritance. On average, Black people inherit nothing when their parents die. Nada.

When White people die they usually pass down their home to their children.


And that's one of the biggest disparities between Whites and Blacks in America.

And it was planned out from the start.
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This falls in line with leaving money for your kids or spouse once you pass, that's a good way to leave and start generational wealth. Don't just get one life insurance policy get 2. Some people i know got 3,4 of em. But you'll always here us saying I ain't leaving them nothing, Whites in the other hand leave them with a couple million or so. It's like this with me in worth more dead than alive, but my family will be well taken care if I do go
 
Yeah that's exactly what happened when my grandfather died. Everybody saw the money. My mother saw the house.

I moved out at 19/20.... But when I was fucking up financially my mother told me to come back home and helped me get my credit n shit together.... From then she taught me how to maintain the house without her, cuz she was definitely planning on retiring... But she knew she wasn't trying to maintain this house by herself in her 60's and up...

It came down to me staying here or letting her sell it and moving into a senior community. Letting the only thing to be past down in our family just didn't make sense.

I might have been tight, but I never been so pressed for money that I would refinance or let a house go...

I just took out credit with home depot and been fixing this shit up
 
Duwop said:
Grandfather bought this house in 1965

It went to his kids in his death. They wanted to sell it, my mom bought it from them in the mid 90's

I'm her only child and my name been on it for the past 10 years or so as well


So I'm the 3rd generation in this house. Hopefully I can pass it on in some capacity in the next 30 years to my kids... We'll see
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The older I get the more I wish I had that. Something entrusted to the family that can get passed down generations. Being able to be in the same house and show your kids basically your childhood and your parents childhood and so on is cool to me. I'd have to go to multiple states and cities for that shit
 
Duwop said:
How many people have houses that have been in the family for generations though?

How many have a house they acquired thru inheritance?

Do your parents own their home? What are the plans when they die? Does it stay in the family? It's it sold? Rented out?
Click to expand...

My grandmother died in January at 92. The house she lived in had been hers since the late 60s. She raised seven kids and me in that house. Right now one of my uncle's is living there. If he goes, I'll make sure that house stays in the family by any means necessary.

My maternal ancestors were different. My Big Momma (great-grandmother) owned 10 houses around Northeast Wichita when she died in 88. At least 3 of those went to family who still live in them.
 
Loquacious said:
@OhMars stated:


One thing I notice is that other races outside of Blacks, tend to let their children stay at home until they are on their feet. I never understood the rush to push a child out of the door at 18. Growing up, my mom was never the type to push me out, I actually decided to leave at 19.

How long are you willing to let your child stay at home with you after high school?
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My kids can stay as long as they want, as long as they are productive and working towards something...even if it's something I don't agree with. Mer personally, my mom ain't kick me or my sister out. But she also ain't get a chance. We both decided that we were leaving at 18. College or not. Just so happened that we both went off to school at 18.

But either way, I was outta that bitch.
 
mryounggun said:
My kids can stay as long as they want, as long as they are productive and working towards something...even if it's something I don't agree with. Mer personally, my mom ain't kick me or my sister out. But she also ain't get a chance. We both decided that we were leaving at 18. College or not. Just so happened that we both went off to school at 18.

But either way, I was outta that bitch.
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Yea. I hope my son is motivated to wanna be independent. As long as he’s doing something productive, he can stay home.
 
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