i wouldn't even be in the relationship if something like that bothered me.....
this why imma stay single if this marriage thing don't work out..
Is there a wrong here or just a difference of opinion?
- Thread starter Lea
- Start date
this why imma stay single if this marriage thing don't work out..
If u let any and everybody watch your kid cuz their "family" then that's on you bruh. Sounds like you want help fathering your kid to me tho...
how is a man who gets the kids who live in your house regularly considered any and everybody?
U think u know a nigga cuz he picks up his kid every other Saturday? That's all it takes to trust a mf with your kid?
i don't want or need help raising my kids.
but i'm not gonna place barriers on who can interact with them out of spite and ego.
if i'm with a women who has children. i need to be willing to love and treat her children as if they're mines as well...
if that's not possible, then i don't see the need to live with this woman or move any further in the relationship.
so if we are living together, and the children are living with us, and the father comes to get them regularly...
me and this dud ha to have a working relationship.
his children live in a house with me and certain discussions and understandings have to take place...
if they can't....then i see no need for the relationship to go any further....
now i got kids with this women too, and homie wants to take my kids for the weekend as well...
even more reason for me and this man to havw a very strong and trusting relationship,
at the end of the day, if u dealing with a mother who has a active father int he child's lives... all three of yall gotta come to some serious understandings.....
shit lik this is nt to be played with or assumed.....
i just don't understand how people can be in a relationship with a parent and be completely separate and hands off with the kids..
if you dedicated to them kids like u are the mother, then maybe this relationship thing ain't for yall..
no one should ever feel slighted, disrespected or anything negative because parents want to work together...
yall making something positive negative, and all i'm seeing is insecurity and ego.....
but i'm not gonna place barriers on who can interact with them out of spite and ego.
if i'm with a women who has children. i need to be willing to love and treat her children as if they're mines as well...
if that's not possible, then i don't see the need to live with this woman or move any further in the relationship.
so if we are living together, and the children are living with us, and the father comes to get them regularly...
me and this dud ha to have a working relationship.
his children live in a house with me and certain discussions and understandings have to take place...
if they can't....then i see no need for the relationship to go any further....
now i got kids with this women too, and homie wants to take my kids for the weekend as well...
even more reason for me and this man to havw a very strong and trusting relationship,
at the end of the day, if u dealing with a mother who has a active father int he child's lives... all three of yall gotta come to some serious understandings.....
shit lik this is nt to be played with or assumed.....
i just don't understand how people can be in a relationship with a parent and be completely separate and hands off with the kids..
if you dedicated to them kids like u are the mother, then maybe this relationship thing ain't for yall..
no one should ever feel slighted, disrespected or anything negative because parents want to work together...
yall making something positive negative, and all i'm seeing is insecurity and ego.....
if a dude is coming to pick up kids from a house you live in every saturday and that's the only interaction yall have is a whassup and that's it... break up....you ain't that committed to her or her life. you wasting their time and your time. you ain't tryna build a family.....you just hanging outU think u know a nigga cuz he picks up his kid every other Saturday? That's all it takes to trust a mf with your kid?
once we live together, they all our kids. so we all gotta work together
That's the dumbest shit i heard all week. Cuz i don't wanna be buddies with my girl's ex i'm not taking her serious?
If your girl is telling you how great her ex is and how she wants you to let him be your kids daddy, you share that girl.
They gonna have to flip a coin on the next baby b
It dont matter tho, they all one 'family'
1rst it's clearly not the dumbest shit you've read... cuz you post on the same forum i do.. so you're exaggerating....
but yes.. if you're not willing to actively participate in the co-parenting situation with the women and children you live with......you're not fully committed to the relationship...
i don't see how that's not clear....
she's not asking you to let the nigga be your kids daddy....that's another exaggeration....she's saying he wanted to know if your child could come with his/her siblings on a fun day out....shouldn't be an issue.
she clearly trusts this man with her children, so if you still have your reservations, not only are you not placing any faith in her as a parent, you're actively treating someone who is 100% family like a stranger just cuz...
the shit is petty....if it's not okay for your kid to go, then it shouldn't be okay for her kids to go either....
niggaz be they own worst enemies and dont even see it...
You keep saying "it's for the kids" , which leads me back to you feeling like there's a void in your kid's life that you need another man to fill. There's nothing that my kid will get by staying with another man for the weekend that he's not already getting at home.
As much as you're fighting for another nigga to be with your kid, you might as well move the nigga in.
Me and dude don't have to be buddies to co-parent, that's an exaggeration. Of course we'll talk and figure out what we're all comfortable with as parents and that's where it stops. If you feel you and dude need to be best buddies and go to baseball games together, then that's on you. Goes back to that void you want filled...
Nah. It just ain't as black and white and you tryna paint it.
I see you doing more harm than good tryna force ya ideas on that man. Maybe its ya ego........
see that's the insecurity i was talking about......
that sounds like projection at it's finest.....why would it even be interpreted that way?
i don't even understand how this is considered filling a void....what void is being filled??
the dad is doing nothing but hanging out wit the kids and showing them a good time...he's not filing any voids.
when children are in a loving environment, all that "filling voids" shit is frivolous...it's a fun day with their siblings...
when we do fun days for the kids, we get as many kids as possible to make sure all the kids have a good time...so if someone is asking for my kid whent hey already got their siblings how is it interpreted as anything but that???
lol, you act like he trying to replace you or something....the dude just might have some cool shit planned for the kids that's a kid activity.. maybe they going to the zoo, the movies, Disney on ice, a birthday party, he could have multiple cousins n shit already that weekend..... it's literally a question/conversation.
"oh what they doing this weekend? oh word.. that sounds fun.. sure"
communication is key...i don't understand being so naturally standoffish with another dude unless you're insecure about something
it's not about a void being filled, it's about communicating and working together...
shit bothers me when adults act like they can't work together for the kids benefit...put that ego shit aside and just talk to eachother
What are you talkin about nigga? lol It's about the kids spending time together? They live with eachother 95% of the fuckin month.
"he might be taking em to the zoo" .......... U need another nigga to take your kids to the zoo? U can't do that yourself?
So it aint about quality time with their siblings cuz they're always with the siblings. It aint about getting to go places cuz you can take em yourself. So why do you want another man with your child soooo bad?
What's really going on fam? Make sense of this shit.
i ain't forcing nothing on nobody.....
i just think it's foolish to not want to opened minded and work together in those situations.
i said from the jump she was mad aggy for pushing it...she should respect his stance on it.....even if his stance is imo is based in insecurity and immaturiy
For all you know he tried to foster that relationship and the ex shit it down
The ex ready to to live that life, cool but he should go talk to that man b4 asking about taking his kid for the weekend