Is emotional abuse a real thing?

BNE said:
I get that but do u wanna catch a case when they wld be able to say to the cops that they really didn't lay a finger on u? i stay thinkin in terms of what cld be put on the report if push came to shove.
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That's where my son comes into play. I'd rather cause damage don't mean it would absolutely have to be physical. Since I had my son, I've realized a lot of wanting to hurt a mf ain't worth it. I'm not willing to catch a case unless it's behind my son. You spit on me, oh mf I will get you. I'm gon fuck with your mental. I'm gonna wanna kill you but I know better.
 
BNE said:
see, that i get. when u said u're gonna get them I assumed physical. if u avoid physical, that's already showin self control.
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Growing up with boys is the reason why I was always ready to beat somebody up. They solved all their issues through fighting. Whether it be a punch or a full blown fight. Took that with me as I grew up. You disrespect me, we fighting. I had my son, all that changed. I can't sit in jail over fighting somebody unless it's behind my child. My baby needs me.
 
Race Jones said:
nice avi. you look so pretty @Kandy Pants
ol mean ass.
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Kandy Pants said:
Thanks honey bunches. You are pretty also. Love the lips. No homo.
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**Late post, just got to the dang office. lol

LMBO @ all the "no-signs" I received from ONE thread. lol

I can't hate on you all though. I GOAT your responses based on the fact that you responded and I appreciate your views.

However, I thoroughly disagree and loathe those who use children as an excuse to do anything that doesn't benefit themselves AND the children they are using as excuses.

Children should never be a reason to stay in a negative environment. If anything, they should be one of the MAIN reasons to leave.

You don't think the same negativity effects them as well?

So...in your minds;
It's OK for you to "choose" to stay in an abusive relationship and "force" your children to endure it as well? Yes, you are forcing them. You are stripping them of their right to peace as stated in early posts on this thread. Children can't help it because they have no choice. You are only feeding that cycle.

I understand in some cases where money is an issue and you are in a house, you are stable, kids are in a great school etc etc and to leave you ruin all of this and may very well end up in a homeless shelter for a spell and on welfare until you can get on your feet.

But what if you stuck around for those same reasons and things escalate from emotional to physical (both) and the guy/gal snaps, kills your children and tries to kill you but does not succeed? Would you then blame them SOLELY for the loss of your children or would you feel responsible for not leaving beforehand?

This story is heard too often from women and men who wish they could have that opportunity again and there would be nothing in this world that would make them stay.

Homelessness or death? a little struggle or mental/physical abuse?

I have read all responses and still feel the same. The decision may be difficult. We never denied such.. BUT... It is still a decision that can be made and there is no excuse to endure misery. In whatever form or fashion it is delivered.

Being unhappy in any facet translates to your children/family. You may think you hide it well. But you do not. Trust me.
 
Reesey said:
**Late post, just got to the dang office. lol

LMBO @ all the "no-signs" I received from ONE thread. lol

I can't hate on you all though. I GOAT your responses based on the fact that you responded and I appreciate your views.

However, I thoroughly disagree and loathe those who use children as an excuse to do anything that doesn't benefit themselves AND the children they are using as excuses.

Children should never be a reason to stay in a negative environment. If anything, they should be one of the MAIN reasons to leave.

You don't think the same negativity effects them as well?

So...in your minds;
It's OK for you to "choose" to stay in an abusive relationship and "force" your children to endure it as well? Yes, you are forcing them. You are stripping them of their right to peace as stated in early posts on this thread. Children can't help it because they have no choice. You are only feeding that cycle.

I understand in some cases where money is an issue and you are in a house, you are stable, kids are in a great school etc etc and to leave you ruin all of this and may very well end up in a homeless shelter for a spell and on welfare until you can get on your feet.

But what if you stuck around for those same reasons and things escalate from emotional to physical (both) and the guy/gal snaps, kills your children and tries to kill you but does not succeed? Would you then blame them SOLELY for the loss of your children or would you feel responsible for not leaving beforehand?

This story is heard too often from women and men who wish they could have that opportunity again and there would be nothing in this world that would make them stay.

Homelessness or death? a little struggle or mental/physical abuse?

I have read all responses and still feel the same. The decision may be difficult. We never denied such.. BUT... It is still a decision that can be made and there is no excuse to endure misery. In whatever form or fashion it is delivered.

Being unhappy in any facet translates to your children/family. You may think you hide it well. But you do not. Trust me.
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And that's all I'm trying to say. I'm not bashing nobody who endures or endured any abuse and chose to stay. I'm just simply saying, you have a choice to leave or stay. I thought that was the debate. Not whether one is stupid for staying or not.
 
Kandy said:
I work with someone who was abused as a child by her mom and she landed in a relationship with abusive man for 17 years. She said she was weak minded because that is all she knew. So, I understood why her mind was where it was. When she finally opened up about it and people were there to help her, she CHOSE to stay. She then said she went to church and met a group of ladies like her and that's when she CHOSE to leave him.

I'm not insensitive but hell if that's what you wanna label me, honestly I'm gonna still sleep well at night. I know me and that's all that matters. Was I sad about her situation. Hell yes. I almost shed a tear listening to it. I ain't bash her for staying. Didn't call her stupid. Nothing. That's her choice. I cant judge her for the decisions she made. However, she made a choice to stay and a choice to leave and that's all Im saying. Take from that what you will. Ain't no swaying me. It's a choice, regardless. Point, blank.
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Now this lady is happily married. He has taken in her kids and everything. They just came from some island for her sons 16th birthday. I’m glad she CHOSE to leave that abusive nigga.
 
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