I wouldn't say it falls on you. You are probably the most visible site owner I've ever seen
I think the issue falls on the community and people need to just admit they may not want certain parts of their lives to intersect
I can name maybe 5 people total that have actually invited people to this site. Did those people stick around? No, but efforts were made.
Everyone else "ate" off their efforts. Same few people make threads, everyone else eats off the efforts. There are a ton of threads I avoid mainly cause I'm not the target member but when I remember to make threads, they are centered around things that interest me and I think from reading other people's posts over the years, I can predict who may or may not participate