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"Emotional" Cheating

Dupacalypse said:
This is why serious flirting is even wrong......

Cuz it's not just the emotional cheating, it's everything that lead up to it as well.

Every single time that person made a decision that they had to think up a bull shit reason to justify, they was dead ass wrong...

I totally get it,, sometimes people be unhappy and neglected.


But they gotta be totally honest with themselves from the jump. The second you make the conscious decision to entertain fuckery of any level,, regardless of the magnificent excuse they made up to justify it..

Yo ass dead ass wrong
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you coming off pretty preachy with this

but i get it, you've said multiple times that you just arent that kinda guy that would cheat, in any form, on his lady

but i think the biggest misconception is that people, both male and female, just wake up and decide that day was the day they were going to "entertain" someone else. Its not that black and white.
 
AP21 said:
you coming off pretty preachy with this

but i get it, you've said multiple times that you just arent that kinda guy that would cheat, in any form, on his lady

but i think the biggest misconception is that people, both male and female, just wake up and decide that day was the day they were going to "entertain" someone else. Its not that black and white.
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you and this "its not that black and white" ish is why people get caught up in random unnecessary crap situations. in other word stop being so indecisive.

anyway on to my opinion... emotional cheating is very much a real thing. Real talk If I found out my husband got drunk as shit and fucked some random chick walking down the street I'd be real hurt, there'd be some therapy, testing etc but I would be willing to TRY to work through that as hard as it may be and to be completely honest it still might not work. But if he came at me with some shit like I like her we've been talking for a while etc there is no coming back from that. In my mind the later of the two situations; you though about the consequences and still went through with it. there was a whole thought process behind this. I lost you when you considered it...
 
Again, nothing is black and white when it comes to matters of the heart

I commend you all for being do gooders and shit but y'all are the exception and not the rule

Sometimes shit happens. No one plans it. I'm not saying emotional cheating isn't a real thing but y'all killing me with this "because I don't do it, it's not hard for everyone else to not do it" attitude
 
Emotional cheating is very real and is on the road to physically doing something. My previous relationship ended because she started connecting with someone else and our feelings for eachother were compromised because of a third party. You can have people you vent to but your significant other should be the first person that you open up to about a problem. If they aren't trying to lend an ear just so you can at least express it then there's an issue in that relationship.
 
AP21 said:
Again, nothing is black and white when it comes to matters of the heart

I commend you all for being do gooders and shit but y'all are the exception and not the rule

Sometimes shit happens. No one plans it. I'm not saying emotional cheating isn't a real thing but y'all killing me with this "because I don't do it, it's not hard for everyone else to not do it" attitude
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Gotta admit, AP is right.
 
LadyDu said:
anyway on to my opinion... emotional cheating is very much a real thing. Real talk If I found out my husband got drunk as shit and fucked some random chick walking down the street I'd be real hurt, there'd be some therapy, testing etc but I would be willing to TRY to work through that as hard as it may be and to be completely honest it still might not work. But if he came at me with some shit like I like her we've been talking for a while etc there is no coming back from that. In my mind the later of the two situations; you though about the consequences and still went through with it. there was a whole thought process behind this. I lost you when you considered it...
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Thanks for saving me the keystrokes sis. Ima buy you a round when babydu ain't gettin nutrients off you.
 
MissK said:
AP just likes to play devils advocate
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@MissK,

don-t-tell-nobody-o.gif
 
Cuz ap still trying to justify something he knows is wrong...

Look my idea of write and wrong may seem black and white, because my bigger issue is with honesty...

And it's not honesty with another person....

It's honesty with ones self.... People lie to themselves way before they lie to their s/o

If you truly believe that it doesn't come down to a matter of choice, and it's never that simple.... You're still in a habit of lying to yourself.... And it's never going to seem avoidable until that is fully addressed....
 
MissK said:
AP just likes to play devils advocate
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It's a natural defense mechanism.

When people display behavior they themselves don't approve of, they desperately search for justification, then pass it off as truth so that they're no longer completely hard on themselves..

They're only a victim of circumstance, not their own choices....

Self accountability in a disaster is tough. People can't handle guilt.... Denial is much more appealing
 
The thing is AP hasn't explained nothing to0 my knowledge, he drops everything isn't black and white and then leaves the thread
 
Chi-Town B said:
The thing is AP hasn't explained nothing to0 my knowledge, he drops everything isn't black and white and then leaves the thread
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Prolly told himself the same thing over and over again until it became an automatic response...

And to that the choice to walk away instead of argue....
 
Dupacalypse said:
Cuz ap still trying to justify something he knows is wrong...

Look my idea of write and wrong may seem black and white, because my bigger issue is with honesty...

And it's not honesty with another person....

It's honesty with ones self.... People lie to themselves way before they lie to their s/o

If you truly believe that it doesn't come down to a matter of choice, and it's never that simple.... You're still in a habit of lying to yourself.... And it's never going to seem avoidable until that is fully addressed....
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then say your issue is with honesty or lack of honesty

honesty takes on several forms in a relationship

to me, not being able to take someone back due to a moment of indiscretion boils down to ego. You are going to be thinking about what people think about you. You are going to be thinking about certain inadequacies you may be feeling, etc...

instead of me continuing to say "its not black and white", would you all prefer if i said there are levels? I think the misconception is that im saying its ok to let someone habitually abuse your trust. Im not saying that at all, but how long do you have to be with someone for them to earn at least one "get out jail free" card if you will? Like how long do you have to be with them for you to even remotely entertain the idea of taking them back after a moment of infidelity, whether it be physical or emotional?

Ya'll keep saying that its unforgivable! HOW? So just one time and thats it? Then for those of you who have spiritual connections to higher powers or believe in the teachings of Jesus/ and or the bible, it clearly states if you confess your sins to your father, he has forgiven you. If you truly believe ANY of that is true, how then can you say, but but...you cheated...there's no coming back from that. Goes back to ego and pride.

I get it, you feel betrayed, hurt, upset, etc...but when does a person get some grace from you? I've said it multiple times, but forgiveness is more about you releasing the hurt vs you actually forgiving the person that may have wronged you. It allows YOU to let go and stop holding on to all the emotions you were feeling.

If it were to happen to me, yes, i would more likely than not experience all the things i just mentioned, but idk man, i'm just different. I would be more pissed if she took all the money out the account or did some shit to fuck up my credit. I can bounce back from emotional scars, but fucking with my money and credit is another beast b/c that shit can really play a role in stuff you try to do in the future either by yourself or should you decide to get with someone else.

Again, this notion that "well people lie to themselves to convince themselves" stuff is just silly to me, b/c it assumes everything is an absolute and its just not. I dont hold this view that i need to paint every situation in my life with some huge broad brush. Every situation is different. Kudos to you all who appear to have found someone that doesnt make you question things in life. I really mean that, but stop trying to make it seem like all they gotta do is what you do in your relationship, then everything will be fine.
 
ya'll kill me with that shit tho

like for real

i get it, you dont believe in jesus...some people do

if thats the only thing you took from my post, then maybe this aint the convo for you
 
ugh, ya'll got me out of my element

basically, WHATEVER you believe in...whether it be just karma, a higher power, rivers, trees, spirit animals, there is a principle of finding inner peace with situations

why do ya'll do this?

nigs know wrestling is fake and still watch it

nigs know their favorite rappers aint outchea getting rich or die trying

but mention jesus, then its

nah-man.gif
 
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