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Admit to a minor transgression

I had a small job as a customer service clerk & cashier at a convenience store two years ago.

One of the female coworkers, a Haitian girl, was hitting on me hard and sollicitated me into "smoking some weed" with her just a couple of minutes in the W.C.s, with the least subtle suggestive body language and stare ever made by a eighteen-years old girl. She was apparently thirsty AF because she asked me out twice: the first while posing a hand on my thigh just after asking me silly questions about whether I had some kinks or not and my favourite Netflix shows... and Heaven knows how far that little daunty hand of hers would've gone if our schizoid-sociopathic boss haven't abruptly stormed the store off-shift that evening with a nervous, defiant grin on her face, just at the moment I was on the way to say "yes" . Fortunately, she didn't caught us but still... that mas bitch had cameras.

The second time, I thought about coming with my contraceptive protection. Something about this girl started tipping me off she has her regular roll of men laiding on her (even while working) . But at the moment we were going to the W.C.s I expressedly cleaned out esrlt thay day just in case, a crowd of customers stormed the store.

Since then, I started half-superstitiously to almost presume the ancestors won't me getting laid with no one.

Otherwise damn nigga... it's crazy how you can easily get laid just because you are watching out 'Riverdale' and staying aloof. Although she stopped hitting this far after she assumed I was "kind" ... till the day I wasn't with a customer who tried to rob us. Literally waltzed mid-air through the store and outdoors like a rag doll. Then a beef with the boss. She was turned on while learning all of these. Started asking my phone number and PlayStation pseudo.
 
I also nearly broke two couples at that same convenience store.

An atttactive, mature white woman in chic scanty dress and some average-looking middle aged white guy (was she his girlfriend, wife or escort girl, I don't know) came back from their trip at the casino. Maybe drunken or on some drug. She saw me and started by immediatly flirting and giggling amorously, almost turned on. The man was just there, at her right: he was pissed off.

Later, a gingerhead I tried to hit on by mere sight early during my first workday nights but seemed unfazed (or actually stunned??) came back overnight from a professional Christmas party with her boyfriend. She was so heavily drunk. They brought some products but she was the one whonasked to pay but her wallet was not there: they presumed she forgot it into the car or at the place they quit. The boyfriend leave and her "oops! I forgot my wallet" behavior fortright faded: it took me a few seconds of her starting to invite me to talk with me and her filtratious demeanor to get that none only my brievely attempted flirt from months ago has left an unforgettable mark on her (nigga, I just threw a damn interested stare) but that she did forgot her wallet on purpose, so that she had a free space to hit on me back...

... nigga, when her boyfriend returned baxk into the store, we were chuckling while our faces were approaching to each other, way past what professional distance requires... he was pissed off.

The next time we fell on each other, he threw at me murderous glances while her girlfriend was all shy and embarrassed but still with that "hmstillIwanttomakelovewithyou" vibe about her. Weirdly, I spoke my way out of a walking bomb and we bonded since then: the guy was treating me then like a friend in mere seconds. ?
 
And oh, I had a married pregnant Romanian customer who was hitting on me at another job, early this year. Almost converted her into a feedee: she went from barely snacking at dinnertine to naturally eating like two (as she was pregnant) to down two calorie-rich meals and half of a pint of soup in one treat, on a regular basis.

I wasn't really flirting, but... well, you know when female saleswomen uses some semi-filtratious mannerisms and cues as well as their charms to sell their crap?? This is basically what I winded up to do at any job who requiered I appeal a female clientele to something. And ti be honest, if that was not the pregnancy at the moment her flirts would've stepped into another level, I would've smashed her without any hesitation.
 
I stole an aux cord from a Walmart in Florida. What happened was I put the cord in a mobile scooter cart but forgot to take the item out before passing through the security scanner at the exit. The alarm didn't go off. So I was like "hell yeah, free shit" and walked off with my friend.

This good 'ol nice Canadian just jacked ur shit America. Smuggled back into the great white north.
 
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I pissed in the back of an empty streetcar the other day.

I wasn't gonna make it to my friends apartment without pissing myself at that point.

Leaked right out the backdoor. No mess. No regrets.

??‍♂️
 
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