What would you do if you were the son in this situation?

Would you pay the school loans?

  • Yes

    Votes: 3 50.0%

  • No

    Votes: 1 16.7%

  • Maybe, depending on whether or not we built relationships

    Votes: 2 33.3%
  • Total voters
    6
Freeman said:
This implies he was wrong in what he was doing tho. From what im surmising he was cheated on, got divorced and tried to take his kids with him, the girls chose to stay with the mother and her new man, he tried to foster a relationship with the girls but they denied him, when they found out he was up they came ran to him to be bailed out financially but he refused, he dies and leaves an inheritance to his son.

So giving them the money would make his son a better man? I didn't read anything that made it seem like he wasn't an exemplary one.
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Getting cheated on, divorced, and losing the girls was pops villain origin story, and he was cool with that. He left then out the will, have the money to the soon, and said fuck them girls.

Despite being hurt, he felt justified in his actions. And while he was alive was perfectly ok with being the person that said no to them.

Most people ask themselves, am I the asshole? An I wrong here? By leaving the money to his son, he places his son in the position to make a decision he would not make because of his hurt. Which could lead to his son making a more compassionate decision than he was able to make.. Essentially being a better man than he could..

Basically, while I'm here... Imma say no.. But when I'm gone, it's outta my hands, y'all just better hope your brother has a warmer heart than I do.....

No where does it say the father told him not to give his sister's shit.... He left it up to him. Possibly hoping that he may have it in his heart whether the father didn't.

That's my take on it
 
I watched the whole video. Not sure if anyone else did. There are important parts that are missing from Monk's summary. The brother mentioned that the sisters only really came to him when they needed something. When the sisters were in college, they came to the dad and brother for money and things. He saw his dad refuse them.

They cut the father off first, said the brother. The father was on a downward spiral after the divorce. He started drinking heavy. He then started to pick his self up. The son wants to get rid of the grudges and forgive. Because of what he saw his dad go through, he said he is not ready to forgive his sisters and mother. One day, he wants to forgive but that is not today. He is currently estranged from his sisters.

He wants to dead the grudge but at the same time, respect his father's wishes. He also said that his father was a devoted Christian. He mentions forgiveness in the bible and that is what he wants to do.

My opinion: When he is ready to forgive, he eventually wants to, they need to go to group therapy. Hash everything out. Once he sees action and not just talk from the sister's, he can then decide if he wants to help them. They have to rebuild their relationship first.
 
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loud-ninja said:
I watched the whole video. Not sure if anyone else did. There are important parts that are missing from Monk's summary. The brother mentioned that the sisters only really came to him when they needed something. When the sisters were in college, they came to the dad and brother for money and things. He saw his dad refuse them.

They cut the father off first, said the brother. The father was on a downward spiral after the split. He started drinking heavy. He then started to pick his self up. The son wants to get rid of the grudges and forgive. Because of what he saw his dad go through, he said he is not ready to forgive his sisters and mother. One day, he wants to forgive but that is not today. He is currently estranged from his sisters.

He wants to dead the grudge but at the same time, respect his father's wishes. He also said that his father was a devoted Christian. He mentions forgiveness in the bible and that is what he wants to do.

My opinion: When he is ready to forgive, he eventually wants to, they need to go to group therapy. Hash everything out. Once he sees action and not just talk from the sister's, he can then decide if he wants to help them. They have to rebuild their relationship first.
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Him wanting to forgive is a big part that was missing. My next question would be are the sisters aware of that and possibly using this to manipulate the money out of him? Or do they have no clue about their brother's desires and he is torn because he knows the money can be used as a tool to either open that door he wants or to possibly be manipulated by them
 
Maybe I read the story wrong, but if they didn't wanna have anything to do with him. Then why should they feel obligated for him to pay their loans off? They should have the mindset to pay it off themselves to prove that they can do it without him.

They are in the business of using their father. I'll tell them to keep it pushing.
 
I wouldn't make a decision based off of my dad's relationship with his daughter's, he's gone so his money is my money now. Like I said earlier if me and the sister's have a good relationship then I have no problem paying their loan.
 
BlackRain said:
Him wanting to forgive is a big part that was missing. My next question would be are the sisters aware of that and possibly using this to manipulate the money out of him? Or do they have no clue about their brother's desires and he is torn because he knows the money can be used as a tool to either open that door he wants or to possibly be manipulated by them
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Yeah, tough call. That's why I think they need to rebuild with action first. Go to group therapy. Then start doing get togethers. Family bonding.
 
Chi-Town B said:
I wouldn't make a decision based off of my dad's relationship with his daughter's, he's gone so his money is my money now. Like I said earlier if me and the sister's have a good relationship then I have no problem paying their loand.
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They dont have a good relationship. The brother is estranged from the sisters
 
Duwop said:
Getting cheated on, divorced, and losing the girls was pops villain origin story, and he was cool with that. He left then out the will, have the money to the soon, and said fuck them girls.

Despite being hurt, he felt justified in his actions. And while he was alive was perfectly ok with being the person that said no to them.

Most people ask themselves, am I the asshole? An I wrong here? By leaving the money to his son, he places his son in the position to make a decision he would not make because of his hurt. Which could lead to his son making a more compassionate decision than he was able to make.. Essentially being a better man than he could..

Basically, while I'm here... Imma say no.. But when I'm gone, it's outta my hands, y'all just better hope your brother has a warmer heart than I do.....

No where does it say the father told him not to give his sister's shit.... He left it up to him. Possibly hoping that he may have it in his heart whether the father didn't.

That's my take on it
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You said a whole lot to not answer the question.

I understand what's happening tho. Don't even worry about it man.
 
You can't deny having a genuine relationship with someone, then call them when you need money from them. I don't care who it is. Relationships are a 2 way street. Therefore, his daughters can go along about their day.

When you don't wanna have a relationship with said person. You can't still try to use their resources because they are your father/mother/brother/sister etc. That's bs to me. Quit straddling the fence. Either you rock with that man or not
 
loud-ninja said:
I watched the whole video. Not sure if anyone else did. There are important parts that are missing from Monk's summary. The brother mentioned that the sisters only really came to him when they needed something. When the sisters were in college, they came to the dad and brother for money and things. He saw his dad refuse them.

They cut the father off first, said the brother. The father was on a downward spiral after the split. He started drinking heavy. He then started to pick his self up. The son wants to get rid of the grudges and forgive. Because of what he saw his dad go through, he said he is not ready to forgive his sisters and mother. One day, he wants to forgive but that is not today. He is currently estranged from his sisters.

He wants to dead the grudge but at the same time, respect his father's wishes. He also said that his father was a devoted Christian. He mentions forgiveness in the bible and that is what he wants to do.

My opinion: When he is ready to forgive, he eventually wants to, they need to go to group therapy. Hash everything out. Once he sees action and not just talk from the sister's, he can then decide if he wants to help them. They have to rebuild their relationship first.
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Excellent summary.


Thing about forgiveness is, from my perspective, you should only forgive someone if they genuinely ask for forgiveness.........if they acknowledge what they did wrong.......if they show genuine remorse for what they did.........and if they make a sincere attempt to make amends for what they did.


If the brother is looking for all of those signs......and if all the sisters are doing is asking for money........and not showing any remorse or regret for how they treated their father...........then the brother shouldn't give them any money at all.
 
If it was me, I would test them by telling them that I forgive them, but then tell them that I'm not comfortable helping them financially because I'd feel like I wasn't honoring my father's wishes.


Then I'd see how they'd react, and their reaction would tell me everything I need to know about how they really feel.


Basically, set them up to tell on themselves.
 
Duwop said:
Getting cheated on, divorced, and losing the girls was pops villain origin story, and he was cool with that. He left then out the will, have the money to the soon, and said fuck them girls.

Despite being hurt, he felt justified in his actions. And while he was alive was perfectly ok with being the person that said no to them.

Most people ask themselves, am I the asshole? An I wrong here? By leaving the money to his son, he places his son in the position to make a decision he would not make because of his hurt. Which could lead to his son making a more compassionate decision than he was able to make.. Essentially being a better man than he could..

Basically, while I'm here... Imma say no.. But when I'm gone, it's outta my hands, y'all just better hope your brother has a warmer heart than I do.....

No where does it say the father told him not to give his sister's shit.... He left it up to him. Possibly hoping that he may have it in his heart whether the father didn't.

That's my take on it
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Brotha, that's literally what happened.

What married men is cool with losing their family?
 
loud-ninja said:
I watched the whole video. Not sure if anyone else did. There are important parts that are missing from Monk's summary. The brother mentioned that the sisters only really came to him when they needed something. When the sisters were in college, they came to the dad and brother for money and things. He saw his dad refuse them.

They cut the father off first, said the brother. The father was on a downward spiral after the split. He started drinking heavy. He then started to pick his self up. The son wants to get rid of the grudges and forgive. Because of what he saw his dad go through, he said he is not ready to forgive his sisters and mother. One day, he wants to forgive but that is not today. He is currently estranged from his sisters.

He wants to dead the grudge but at the same time, respect his father's wishes. He also said that his father was a devoted Christian. He mentions forgiveness in the bible and that is what he wants to do.

My opinion: When he is ready to forgive, he eventually wants to, they need to go to group therapy. Hash everything out. Once he sees action and not just talk from the sister's, he can then decide if he wants to help them. They have to rebuild their relationship first.
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Agreed,

My first act wouldn't be to hand over a shit pile of money to them either, I'll make them show gratitude to me 1st or a few times.

We aint paying off the big bills yet, let's exchange a few Christmas gifts and see how these days/months/years go out. Then we can maybe sit down and pay off "some" 15% or so at 1st.

You racked up those bills, you will eat most of it.

I bet them sister aint send a dollar in Chinese money to put on their dad's funeral. I really wanna know if they even appeared there.
 
deadeye said:
Good point.


They probably didn't even give their father a second thought until they found out how much money he gave to their brother.
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Ah yea,

Curious though, I wonder how they found out, if I'm the sole beneficiary on the insurance policy or trust, fucked up as it may be, I'm not telling anybody the amount that was left to me.

So now, I'm wondering, how is it that they know the amount.

Man, I've seen the shit on my front door, I'm sure you have been in it or around to see how folks act when money, property is involved with the dead.

Did the sister send any birthday wishes, Happy Fathers Day cards the year before the dad's death, Did they reach out to the Dad while he was in his last hour, go up to the hospital and sit with him during those last days, hours, minutes.

I'm the son, I'm looking at all that. Plus if I know my sister, just knowing them, are they the selfish type, the type to come around and play nice until they get what they want, we all know our family and know pretty much how they move.

Nigga just being nice cuz he want big mama TV or whatever. We all or most should know folks moves lol.

As you said or someone said, see how they react when you tell them "No" see if they call the next day or weekend to check on how I"m doing etc.

See if they talk about shit other than money, how bout them Saints or we need to do a cookout, BBQ, come over, and let's catch up as siblings, I wanna see if they are going to do this about 2 to 3 times, and I aint bringing shit either but maybe a pie or some cokes.

10 million or 10k, folks know you got it, they move in ways to get what they want.
 
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