OPINION Necessary Evils?

NeighborhoodNomad said:
Has anyone given an example of a necessary evil or a moment where doing evil is ever really necessary?
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What about a chick getting a side dude cuz her main no longer has any interest in sex...BUT...she doesn't tell him.

Side dude only for sex (and he knows that) since she's not gettin it from main. She knows main not down for open sexual relationship, but she got needs.
 
IP360 said:
What about a chick getting a side dude cuz her main no longer has any interest in sex...BUT...she doesn't tell him.

Side dude only for sex (and he knows that) since she's not gettin it from main. She knows main not down for open sexual relationship, but she got needs.
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It's not even necessary at that point. Like, her dude isn't interested in sex so her first thought is to get a side dude? Shit, they got deeper issues than that LOL
 
Meeks said:
It's not even necessary at that point. Like, her dude isn't interested in sex so her first thought is to get a side dude? Shit, they got deeper issues than that LOL
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Uhhh...yep. What else is she to do?

I mean what if there was no issue. Dude just no longer wants to do it. It happens b. Lol
 
IP360 said:
Uhhh...yep. What else is she to do?

I mean what if there was no issue. Dude just no longer wants to do it. It happens b. Lol
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So is that why some dudes step out? I find it to be quite sad and hilarious at the same time if a woman used that as a reason to have a side dude. That shows she lacks self control. If I have a man that I know for sure is faithful to me and he doesn't feel like having sex often, that's not a reason to fuck off on him. It's just seriously not. Spice that shit up, suck his dick or something. Let me try to fix whatever issue he is having, if all else fails he gotta go. It's only but so long my yoni can go without love when my man is laying beside me.

But hey, that's just me lol.
 
Meeks said:
So is that why some dudes step out? I find it to be quite sad and hilarious at the same time if a woman used that as a reason to have a side dude. That shows she lacks self control. If I have a man that I know for sure is faithful to me and he doesn't feel like having sex often, that's not a reason to fuck off on him. It's just seriously not. Spice that shit up, suck his dick or something. Let me try to fix whatever issue he is having, if all else fails he gotta go. It's only but so long my yoni can go without love when my man is laying beside me.

But hey, that's just me lol.
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Lol

Often and no longer wanting to do it all is two different things tho.

I'm talmbout the D-shop closed...outta business...no longer providing that product. Damn near flawless in all other areas of the relationship but sex no go.
 
IP360 said:
Lol

Often and no longer wanting to do it all is two different things tho.

I'm talmbout the D-shop closed...outta business...no longer providing that product. Damn near flawless in all other areas of the relationship but sex no go.
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Nah, homeboy getting pussy it just wouldn't be from her ROFL. That's where he'd then be canceled. I would then have to move on to my would've been side dude so he can worship the yoni.
 
Meeks said:
Nah, homeboy getting pussy it just wouldn't be from her ROFL. That's where he'd then be canceled. I would then have to move on to my would've been side dude so he can worship the yoni.
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What if he ain't? Lol
 
IP360 said:
What about a chick getting a side dude cuz her main no longer has any interest in sex...BUT...she doesn't tell him.

Side dude only for sex (and he knows that) since she's not gettin it from main. She knows main not down for open sexual relationship, but she got needs.
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Unless we're talking about literal warfare there's really no necessary reason for sneaking around. And now that I think about it warfare isn't even necessary. Retribution/justice is necessary but so is mercy. I digress....

But if either party is being deprived of their physical needs then it's gotta be expressed. Whatever they decide to do after that is on them.

If one person isn't willing to be more physically intimate with their partner and is also unwilling to be in an open relationship then maybe they're just not that compatible.

There's really no need to be sneaky. Otherwise it's just trying to hold on to something ie a relationship that's not good for you.
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
Unless we're talking about literal warfare there's really no necessary reason for sneaking around. And now that I think about it warfare isn't even necessary. Retribution/justice is necessary but so is mercy. I digress....

But if either party is being deprived of their physical needs then it's gotta be expressed. Whatever they decide to do after that is on them.

If one person isn't willing to be more physically intimate with their partner and is also unwilling to be in an open relationship then maybe they're just not that compatible.

There's really no need to be sneaky. Otherwise it's just trying to hold on to something ie a relationship that's not good for you.
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Do you tell your woman who you've been in a relationship with for 4 month- 12 years that the woman at work shows interest in the things that she doesn't.

Do you openly tell your woman that your heart has drifted towards the new woman?

Point I guess I'm asking, I think one may can be sneaky to protect the woman's heart. Fuck'd up, I know but this the world we are living in. I wouldn't want it to happen to me but reality is that it can happen.

Love Doctor Lol
 
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Knock_Twice said:
Do you tell your woman who you've been in a relationship with for 4 month- 12 years that the woman at work shows interest in the things that she doesn't.

Do you openly tell your woman that your heart has drifted towards the new woman?

Point I guess I'm asking, I think one may can be sneaky to protect the woman's heart. Fuck'd up, I know but this the world we are living in. I wouldn't want it to happen to me but reality is that it can happen.

Love Doctor Lol
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It's really fear, selfishness, and insecurity if I tell myself that I have to lie to her or anyone for that matter to protect em.

In the situation you just mentioned I don't see why that would ever come up unless I was being petty. If the love between me and my girl has faded or feelings change and my heart has drifted towards another woman I would definitely tell her that my feelings for her have changed. I would be holding both of us back if I didn't. I would want her to tell me if her feelings towards me change and her heart has drifted towards another man (or woman). Imo it doesn't protect or help either one of us to be in a relationship that's run its course.
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
It's really fear, selfishness, and insecurity if I tell myself that I have to lie to her or anyone for that matter to protect em.

In the situation you just mentioned I don't see why that would ever come up unless I was being petty. If the love between me and my girl has faded or feelings change and my heart has drifted towards another woman I would definitely tell her that my feelings for her have changed. I would be holding both of us back if I didn't. I would want her to tell me if her feelings towards me change and her heart has drifted towards another man (or woman). Imo it doesn't protect or help either one of us to be in a relationship that's run its course.
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That's what's up.

What if her feelings remains the same but she is still not showing interest, in other words, her actions isn't matching up with what your woman is saying. Do you still stay in the relationship with her. She's crying saying she loves you, but the past 3 or 4 months, she's been showing a different side of her, yet she doesn't wants you to leave you.

Do you break up with her on the spot while she's telling you that she still loves you, telling you this and that, woppity woo, woppity woo. Do you leave?

Or Do you stay? And if you do decide to stay, the woman at the job that pays attention to you, laugh at your jokes, talks sports with you, bring you food that she cooked the night before or some "I wanted you to try this", do you pull back your feelings that you may have gotten during the time your woman for 4 months- 13 years been on her wack shit.

Again, this isn't about you, it just an example I'm throwing out there.
 
Knock_Twice said:
That's what's up.

What if her feelings remains the same but she is still not showing interest, in other words, her actions isn't matching up with what your woman is saying. Do you still stay in the relationship with her. She's crying saying she loves you, but the past 3 or 4 months, she's been showing a different side of her, yet she doesn't wants you to leave you.

Do you break up with her on the spot while she's telling you that she still loves you, telling you this and that, woppity woo, woppity woo. Do you leave?

Or Do you stay? And if you do decide to stay, the woman at the job that pays attention to you, laugh at your jokes, talks sports with you, bring you food that she cooked the night before or some "I wanted you to try this", do you pull back your feelings that you may have gotten during the time your woman for 4 months- 13 years been on her wack shit.

Again, this isn't about you, it just an example I'm throwing out there.
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Very realistic scenario but ultimately I'm a man of action and I judge things by actions. The words are just the icing but I really want the cake which is the action, the substance. As difficult as it may be I'll leave being that my feelings for her have changed as well. As I get older I'm learning that things run their course and also to appreciate the moments. I heard someone say the other day that people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime (might not be verbatim but it was something like that). So whether it's 13 days or 13 years appreciate the moments and hopefully we learned some valuable lessons along the way. It's most definitely easier said than done but if I stayed it would be a one sided relationship and I wouldn't want to do that to her or myself.

So regardless of what happens between me and the woman in the office feelings is some shit I don't really understand in the sense that the heart wants what it wants so I don't know how to pull back feelings that have already developed or are developing. I can act like it but that's all it would be at the end of the day, an act. A relationship may develop but it would have to be something mutual. If it's not mutual I lose interest.

I might not even rebound with the woman at the office either. I might just want/need some time to be single but I would leave my current relationship if the feelings between us were no longer mutual.
 
Im at a point in my life where I truly dont need a side nigga. If my main man isnt up to par I just rather be single.


now as someone who once was a side chick, I truly do understand why some men step out of their relationship in search of something new, refreshing, and fun.

Im not condoning the behavior as I am now a reformed side piece



...Im just saying I understand it.
 
Race Jones said:
Im at a point in my life where I truly dont need a side nigga. If my main man isnt up to par I just rather be single.


now as someone who once was a side chick, I truly do understand why some men step out of their relationship in search of something new, refreshing, and fun.

Im not condoning the behavior as I am now a reformed side piece



...Im just saying I understand it.
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Tell me something Race...how did this come about? Was this something you chose to do at that time? Or did it happen by circumstance?
 
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