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Poll Were you born out of wedlock?

Were your parents married?

  • Yes- my parents were married

    Votes: 21 75.0%

  • No- my parents were not married

    Votes: 6 21.4%

  • My parents were married, just not to each other

    Votes: 1 3.6%
  • Total voters
    28
If my shit went south, I'm positive I would never remarry. Growing up with a single,I didn't place much value on marriage to begin with. I saw the church force her to get married when I was like 9, and that shit didn't last but like a year.

I just didn't see the appeal of feeling like you had to be with someone unless you really wanted to be. I got married because I really wanted to be with my wife.. Not cuz of no lonely shit.

Lotta people just don't wanna be alone. And I don't really know if that comes from growing up watching their parents together, being raised by a single parent, or what. I know folks in unhappy marriages that won't leave cuz their parents never divorced.

I dunno shit just impacts people different ways... And I was just curious where the conversation would go.
 
Thanks for those who participated... And continue please if you wanna speak your piece.
 
Duwop said:
How bout as a parent? So you think you will discourage your children's marriage aspirations when that day comes?
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It effected more how I co-parent more so then the actual parenting of my sons. I want my kids to actually have healthy marriages before they have kids, I don't want them continue the cycle of out of wedlock/teenage parenting.
 
Tayboo said:
It effected more how I co-parent more so then the actual parenting of my sons. I want my kids to actually have healthy marriages before they have kids, I don't want them continue the cycle of out of wedlock/teenage parenting.
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I can rock with this.

I think two parents ideally should have a minimum of 2 years living together married or not before bringing children into the picture.

I mean I get it, shit happens..and a lotta us are the end result of said shit. And I know my shit wasn't ideal... But I would encourage my kids to enjoy and build confidence with their partner and their relationships first.
 
Duwop said:
I can rock with this.

I think two parents ideally should have a minimum of 2 years living together married or not before bringing children into the picture.

I mean I get it, shit happens..and a lotta us are the end result of said shit. And I know my shit wasn't ideal... But I would encourage my kids to enjoy and build confidence with their partner and their relationships first.
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With my oldest I've told him that it's totally ok to wait to have kids. I want my sons live their lives freely both as single men and when married, I'll never be the parent begging for grandkids.
 
Duwop said:
You still got hope, or is that shit dead in the water?

Do you even want to run it back with someone else?
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I didn't post what I did cause of the premise of the thread lol

But to answer your question, after my biological dad passed away my mom finally peeled back the curtain about him. I never thought that highly of him anyway but she made sure to never bad mouth him while he was alive, at least not to me and my sister

My opinion of him didn't change but I got much needed clarity about the demons he was dealing with which could probably be traced back to his parenting situation. I don't think the parents success or non success of a marriage should impact how one views marriage. Just too many variables at play.
 
My parents must have either just been fucking or broken up before I was born because they were never together when I was alive.

Didn’t meet my dad until I was about 5 but we got a good relationship now. And I barely talk to my mom because she gave me up to my grandma (dad’s mom) and we just lost touch over the years.

Made me take family very seriously because I wanted what I never had.
 
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