Weddings and Relationships

King Du said:
I live in reality... the store gave me like 3k credit,, I said I'm not going over 1k... figured I could swing $100 a month payments.... And looked for the nicest shit under a G

When it came to wedding planning, i was like as long as we keep it under 5 k we should be good, cuz we getting at least that in gifts, and we can still throw one hell of a party which we did....

Only thing we got back way more....

Had I knew how much we was getting back... That budget prolly would have went up..... But I did think it would be entitled to think we was getting more than 5k back....
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Well, if it worked for you, can't tell you otherwise because your estimates were clearly on point for your circle. I'm glad you didn't raise your budget tho, cuz you loved your wedding right? so extra money you got back was there to go towards the future instead.
King Du said:
Again it depends...

Banks will be much more willing to work with you if you're expecting an inheritance....

People bank on incoming money all the time
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Not an inheritance unless it's in Trust. Money that's in Trust is different because it's expected, the money is already there, and it's terms exist in writing.

A regular inheritance in like a will isn't typically relied upon because living people can change their wills very easily along with circumstances. I've changed mine twice already lol.

Incoming money and potential or hopeful money are not one in the same.
 
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devlyn said:
Well I guess it all depends on how you look at it. It is a waste when you go overboard and spend thousands of dollars.
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i actually don't mind super expensive weddings. It's not too different to super expensive cars or clothes or whatever else luxury wanna spend their money on. They can be considered wasteful but to them it clearly isn't. To others, a 2k wedding might be gaudy because they either aint got that 2k or they're very frugal. It's an issue when they're either spending what they don't have or what is supposed to be a celebration ends up causing issues instead.

lavish weddings can be fun and seeing as they aren't for me, experiencing it as a guest is pretty much the only way.

went to a South Asian one that last for days n cost nearly as much as a home. wild and beautiful.
 
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Only because there were a few options that had to be made to stay on budget. I didn't want the costs to get out of hand, cuz again we weren't caking like that. It was still nice tho.. We made it work...

With a bigger budget,, there would have been a few cooler things here or there.... and while that money definitely helped while the wife was on maternity leave,, and all that jazz.... We could have did a bit more with a bigger budget,, and it wouldn't have hurt us as much as i thought it could had we not got back a as much
 
King Du said:
Only because there were a few options that had to be made to stay on budget. I didn't want the costs to get out of hand, cuz again we weren't caking like that. It was still nice tho.. We made it work...

With a bigger budget,, there would have been a few cooler things here or there.... and while that money definitely helped while the wife was on maternity leave,, and all that jazz.... We could have did a bit more with a bigger budget,, and it wouldn't have hurt us as much as i thought it could had we not got back a as much
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those r ur financial decisions and chances you were/are willing to take because increasing the budget is something u feel wld add to the experience.

all I'm saying is that telling ppl weddings are a literal financial investment is unwise advice from a financial standpoint.

the rest is arbitrary and subjective, like how much u feel u can handle or how much u r willing to gamble.
 
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BNE said:
those r ur financial decisions and chances you were/are willing to take because increasing the budget is something u feel wld add to the experience.

all I'm saying is that telling ppl weddings are a literal financial investment is unwise advice from a financial standpoint.

the rest is arbitrary and subjective, like how much u feel u can handle or how much u r willing to gamble.
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If some one were planning a wedding and they asked me about a budget, and their budget was on the smaller size...... I'd tell them to consider gift money into the equation.

I'd tell them don't short change their guests if they don't have to....

There's a strong chance that they'll receive more in gifts than a small limited budget...

I feel that would place their minds at ease if they were concerned about over spending
 
King Du said:
If some one were planning a wedding and they asked me about a budget, and their budget was on the smaller size...... I'd tell them to consider gift money into the equation.

I'd tell them don't short change their guests if they don't have to....

There's a strong chance that they'll receive more in gifts than a small limited budget...

I feel that would place their minds at ease if they were concerned about over spending
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People tend to determine gift amount (if it's cash and not things off of the registry) based on relationship proximity or their own pocket depth, not the wedding budget spent by the couple.

The link between wedding budget of the couple and the size of the gift definitely exists, however, it is more so because the couple has friends and family within the same socioeconomic class as them. As a general rule, that's the case.

So the correlation u r seeing (bigger budget, more gift money) is not the cause.

Advising someone to consider and estimate gifts while budgeting, when they're already uncertain of affordability, is reckless.

If that's a gamble u were comfortable taking, and one that fortunately worked out for u, that's honestly great news.

it's irresponsible to suggest others take similar risks.
 
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I disagree.

My personal observation on people in general is that they love to give money to a Happy couple.

And that should be taken into account when planning on a budget.

This is all in the response to the notion that wedding money is a waste that could be used for something else like a down payment on a house.

That's simply not a valid argument when many couples get a financial boost from the wedding


Enough couples that I call bs on that notion.
 
King Du said:
I disagree.

My personal observation on people in general is that they love to give money to a Happy couple.

And that should be taken into account when planning on a budget.

This is all in the response to the notion that wedding money is a waste that could be used for something else like a down payment on a house.

That's simply not a valid argument when many couples get a financial boost from the wedding
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How many couples have you spoken to that recouped wedding money? Is there a study you're citing or do you genuinely know 20+ individual couples that this was based on?

Tryna find a study but the closest I could find were a few wedding site polls, all of which said the same thing: most aren't getting their weddings fully funded, much less making money off them. the majority appear to be getting less than 50% back in gift money.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-much-did-you-recoup/

Financially, a house is a better investment than a wedding. This is an objective economic fact, one that even people who work in the wedding industry will openly admit this.

For people who can afford both a house and a wedding, the question doesn't really matter because they aren't compromising one by choosing the other. When it's a question of affordability, erring on the side of caution is always best.

Unless it isn't for sentimental reasons, in which case they'd reach the conclusion of "yup, it's worth the gamble" on their own.

It's reckless advice to give.
 
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The only time I've ever heard of a married couple not starting off on a come up is when they had a crazy wedding that was way above their means...


Or it was a 2nd or 3rd marriage....

Everybody else who had a modest budget and it was their first marriage caked heavily. Like everybody talks about what they did with the money.

I just remembered that's what kept is afloat while my wife was on Maternity leave.... Cuz we both were trying to remember how it wasn't this tight for the first kid when we both made like 10k less.

I was like we were in a very good place cuz of the money from the wedding. Our stress level was nonexistent during that period. Bills weren't even an issue for almost the first full year.
 
King Du said:
The only time I've ever heard of a married couple not starting off on a come up is when they had a crazy wedding that was way above their means...


Or it was a 2nd or 3rd marriage....

Everybody else who had a modest budget and it was their first marriage caked heavily. Like everybody talks about what they did with the money.

I just remembered that's what kept is afloat while my wife was on Maternity leave.... Cuz we both were trying to remember how it wasn't this tight for the first kid when we both made like 10k less.

I was like we were in a very good place cuz of the money from the wedding. Our stress level was nonexistent during that period. Bills weren't even an issue for almost the first full year.
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That's you. That's not the norm, and you didn't mention how many couples you know who have had a similar experience.

The poll I just linked has over a 100 voters and less than 5% said they made back more than 100% of what they paid. Few even got back what they paid. Most got less than half.

You're letting your personal experience and the fortunate outcome cloud the reality.

Financially, in every market on earth, a house is a better financial investment than a wedding. Sentimentally, that can easily not be the case. A few people get back what they paid, a rarer few get back more. You were one of them and that is a beautiful thing.

Your good luck and opportune circumstances is not a general rule.
 
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Them numbers are like that cuz you gotta take people who be on some bull into count....

But most smart economical couples have benifitted greatly from the generosity and gracious blessings of their loved ones....

The ones who didn't were doing it wrong.
 
Interesting topic

I'll be back with my thoughts
 
King Du said:
Them numbers are like that cuz you gotta take people who be on some bull into count....

But most smart economical couples have benifitted greatly from the generosity and gracious blessings of their loved ones....

The ones who didn't were doing it wrong.
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hold up. so 129 out of 134 people (since only 5 people in that poll got back more money than they spent) are on some bull shit? that right there says it. you're making your experience a baseline to measure others from and giving advice solely based on it, even if it's at odds with the rest.

sounds more like "most smart, economic couples" r specifically ppl who did it identical to you and experienced a similar outcome, which is statistically abysmal. smart economics are not encouraged based on highly situational guesswork.

your anecdotes are not aligned with broader reality. for the vast majority of people, they're extremely lucky if they get back half and should count their blessings.

who "be on some bull" is subjective. to me, spending more than you can afford is some bull - whether that's 2k or 200k. telling people to stretch their budget beyond what they can actually afford in order to account for gifts is some bull to me and up there in my vault of WOAT wedding advice, along with that post telling people to take out engagement ring loans based on hopeful bonuses and tax returns.
 
Kandy said:
I think weddings are a waste because you are paying for others to come and celebrate you. I also a lot of women get married just for the ceremony.
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Bolded deserves this many...
goats2.jpg
 
Too each it's own.

I definitely wouldn't spend a ridiculous amount of movie for a wedding. Just so folks can eat & drink for free on our dime...naw.

I got family who can cook decorate, and take pics.
 
Are people arguing about the money spent on or the premise? Wedding ceremonies are a part of almost every culture. Some deeper than others. I Am/was not a fan of the ceremony regardless of amount spent. With that said I am about to have the second ceremony with the same woman. My mother in law was dying of cancer and I knew it was important to my wife and to her to be able to see her daughter get married so we had a a small ceremony in my apartment in Brooklyn and it was perfect to me. But it was also selfish. My wife deserved to have the formality of walking down an aisle and being introduced to the word as such. Our families should witness our union and have a nice time so we are doing it again. In Trinidad in a couple of months. Like two months. I am excited about it and tho it is costing money I don't care if we don't get a penny back because it is us hosting an event. People shouldn't concern themselves about how much someone else spends on something for themselves.if a couple or a family want to do something lavish let them and hope you get an invite. As we know how much you spend won't gaurantee happiness or a good time but it is an individual thing.
 
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