Golden
Administrator
lol im basic compared to that. i do want drums playin while I go down the aisle tho!
I just wanna elope somewhere tropical. already got the dresses n shit.
Weddings and Relationships
- Thread starter devlyn
- Start date
I just wanna elope somewhere tropical. already got the dresses n shit.
Weddings are awesome when done right.
Holy shit y'all gotta stop being cynics all the damn time.... Yea people tend to go over board... But you typically get that money right if its done right.
For my man who said it could be used as a down payment.... You not thinking....
Our wedding budget was like 5k
We got prolly like 15k back in money and gifts.....
That's a smart wedding flip...
If you have a 25k wedding.... You obviously in a 25k circle.... So you fuck around and get like 75-100k+ back in money and gifts....
And that's all from the Family and friends who support your union.
Cuz that's who the wedding is really for.
Its a fucking celebration b. A celebration of love. You do it up and nice for all your loved ones,, then you declare... In front of those you give the most fucks about.... How much you really care, love, and want to build a future with this person you been rocking with for a minute.
And typically, those people who really fuck with you is like bet. I support and fucks with y'all union. I love y'all. I wish y'all the best. And since we partying, let me break you off with some money and gifts cuz I fucks with y'all and wanna see y'all be great....
Now yea we got assholes who exploit the whole shit. But there's some real ones too....
And when two real ones get married.... Its the shit.... And they always flip their money invested if they got real ass peoples too
Holy shit y'all gotta stop being cynics all the damn time.... Yea people tend to go over board... But you typically get that money right if its done right.
For my man who said it could be used as a down payment.... You not thinking....
Our wedding budget was like 5k
We got prolly like 15k back in money and gifts.....
That's a smart wedding flip...
If you have a 25k wedding.... You obviously in a 25k circle.... So you fuck around and get like 75-100k+ back in money and gifts....
And that's all from the Family and friends who support your union.
Cuz that's who the wedding is really for.
Its a fucking celebration b. A celebration of love. You do it up and nice for all your loved ones,, then you declare... In front of those you give the most fucks about.... How much you really care, love, and want to build a future with this person you been rocking with for a minute.
And typically, those people who really fuck with you is like bet. I support and fucks with y'all union. I love y'all. I wish y'all the best. And since we partying, let me break you off with some money and gifts cuz I fucks with y'all and wanna see y'all be great....
Now yea we got assholes who exploit the whole shit. But there's some real ones too....
And when two real ones get married.... Its the shit.... And they always flip their money invested if they got real ass peoples too
Golden
Administrator
nosigning cuz I hate when ppl expect money from their wedding guests. speaking in terms of investment makes it less of a celebration and more of a transaction.
nothiing personal fam, otherwise beautiful post
My point is, the money you spend on a wedding should not be looked at as a waste.
And of course you expect gifts at a party. Its a party. Most people bring gifts to a party. If they don't, that's fine.... Everybody ain't got it.... But its not crazy to expect to make the money back you spent on a wedding.
I didn't have a lot of money for my wedding, but I wanted it to be nice, so we worked on a budget.
Most of the people in my social circles are in the same boat as me, and I know they wanted to look out for me,, so I did the best I could for them and they blessed me in return.
I don't see the harm in that. When I got it,, I bless my peoples too.... And it's a beautiful thing.
Gifts are part of a celebration. Stop trying to sully a beautiful thing.
And of course you expect gifts at a party. Its a party. Most people bring gifts to a party. If they don't, that's fine.... Everybody ain't got it.... But its not crazy to expect to make the money back you spent on a wedding.
I didn't have a lot of money for my wedding, but I wanted it to be nice, so we worked on a budget.
Most of the people in my social circles are in the same boat as me, and I know they wanted to look out for me,, so I did the best I could for them and they blessed me in return.
I don't see the harm in that. When I got it,, I bless my peoples too.... And it's a beautiful thing.
Gifts are part of a celebration. Stop trying to sully a beautiful thing.
Like I was in tears when we counted all that dough. Mind you the wife was like 3 weeks from delivery.
Our friends and family really blessed us.... And I knew they would.... But not like that...
There's nothing wrong with expecting love from those you love
Our friends and family really blessed us.... And I knew they would.... But not like that...
There's nothing wrong with expecting love from those you love
I think weddings are a waste because you are paying for others to come and celebrate you. I also a lot of women get married just for the ceremony.
A Happy union is definitely worth celebrating.
I agree there are some that are not worth celebrating.... But the good greatly outweigh the bad....
A beautiful wedding of two people who really in love is about as awesome as awesome gets
I agree there are some that are not worth celebrating.... But the good greatly outweigh the bad....
A beautiful wedding of two people who really in love is about as awesome as awesome gets
Golden
Administrator
I don't view weddings as a way to accumulate money. Nothing wrong with spending money on your wedding, and it's cool if ppl give you some as a gift, but gifts are not to be expected. Don't spend money on a party if you have the expectation of recouping it. Parties are not investments and money isn't owed because you threw one. Gifts are beautiful but not transactional.
that mentality is how u get cases like this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/02/wedding-gift_n_3535780.html which unfortunately aint uncommon
Stop it Trini.
Money is a tool. And that tool has been, is,, and always will be used to show and spread love.
If you are throwing a celebration where people tend to show their love by giving you money it is pretty much almost stupid to not consider this almost fact in the planning stages.
Wedding planning conversation
"How much you think we should budget for this wedding?"
"We can't afford to go broke off of it,, but i want it to still be nice"
" well I mean you know people give you money at weddings... So I mean take that into count"
" well how much you really think people going to give us?"
" I unno....I mean.... How much would you give right about now?"
"Depends on who it is I guess"
" well say it's somebody you really fuck with"
" I unno I guess like $50? Is that good?"
" eh its realistic..... and we inviting like 200 people. So if half of them gave us $50 and the other half gave us nothing.... That's like 5k easy"
"You really think we getting that much?"
" I think so.... I mean I wouldn't feel too nervous if we budgeted like 5k for the wedding cuz even if we don't get it back.... It'll be close and we can still have as nice wedding with 5k"
That was legit how the convo went.... And I feel that's not a disingenuous conversation to have about a real ass outcome....
Sometimes you have to just accept certain truths to have a constructive conversation.
Would you have completely rolled out or not even think about gifts when your money is tight, but you still want to do something nice for your friends and family
Money is a tool. And that tool has been, is,, and always will be used to show and spread love.
If you are throwing a celebration where people tend to show their love by giving you money it is pretty much almost stupid to not consider this almost fact in the planning stages.
Wedding planning conversation
"How much you think we should budget for this wedding?"
"We can't afford to go broke off of it,, but i want it to still be nice"
" well I mean you know people give you money at weddings... So I mean take that into count"
" well how much you really think people going to give us?"
" I unno....I mean.... How much would you give right about now?"
"Depends on who it is I guess"
" well say it's somebody you really fuck with"
" I unno I guess like $50? Is that good?"
" eh its realistic..... and we inviting like 200 people. So if half of them gave us $50 and the other half gave us nothing.... That's like 5k easy"
"You really think we getting that much?"
" I think so.... I mean I wouldn't feel too nervous if we budgeted like 5k for the wedding cuz even if we don't get it back.... It'll be close and we can still have as nice wedding with 5k"
That was legit how the convo went.... And I feel that's not a disingenuous conversation to have about a real ass outcome....
Sometimes you have to just accept certain truths to have a constructive conversation.
Would you have completely rolled out or not even think about gifts when your money is tight, but you still want to do something nice for your friends and family
Golden
Administrator
I have no problem with expensive weddings. If u can comfortably afford a 75k wedding, do that shit. It isn't a waste if u got it.
the moment u expect the money back from ur guests, ur doing it wrong imo. appreciate it by all means but dont expect it.
n definitely don't have that expectation in the back of your mind when you're planning, on some "I can afford 7k but I'm sure most will give us at least $100 back, so lets stretch it to 10k on credit cards, we can get points!"
this is bad financial thinking any way you spin it. seriously, tell a financial planner of ANY kind that you expect to get back what you spent on a wedding, much less view it as an investment. never has that advice been given by an authority in the arena of finances.
that's on par with telling people it's a good idea to take out a loan for a wedding.
plus, this excerpt from the article pretty much sums up the consensus that most have reached:
“Weddings are a wonderful time to share with family and friends,” she wrote in an email to The Huffington Post. “The expense and the cost of the wedding is solely the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their families, and never the people who are attending. I think people give with their heart and do the best that they can. I would hope that any bride and groom would understand.“
Wedding etiquette expert and HuffPost blogger Xochitl Gonzalez also commented on the Facebook message, saying that it’s one of the most classless stories she’s ever heard.
“There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding,” she wrote in an email. “Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give AND finally, it’s certainly outrageous to question the amount, let alone the gift (i.e. the guy who gave the couple a gift basket and they freaked out).
the moment u expect the money back from ur guests, ur doing it wrong imo. appreciate it by all means but dont expect it.
n definitely don't have that expectation in the back of your mind when you're planning, on some "I can afford 7k but I'm sure most will give us at least $100 back, so lets stretch it to 10k on credit cards, we can get points!"
when you throw a housewarming party, do you expect to recoup your closing costs? or do you aim high and hope to get your downpayment back?
this is bad financial thinking any way you spin it. seriously, tell a financial planner of ANY kind that you expect to get back what you spent on a wedding, much less view it as an investment. never has that advice been given by an authority in the arena of finances.
that's on par with telling people it's a good idea to take out a loan for a wedding.
plus, this excerpt from the article pretty much sums up the consensus that most have reached:
“Weddings are a wonderful time to share with family and friends,” she wrote in an email to The Huffington Post. “The expense and the cost of the wedding is solely the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their families, and never the people who are attending. I think people give with their heart and do the best that they can. I would hope that any bride and groom would understand.“
Wedding etiquette expert and HuffPost blogger Xochitl Gonzalez also commented on the Facebook message, saying that it’s one of the most classless stories she’s ever heard.
“There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding,” she wrote in an email. “Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give AND finally, it’s certainly outrageous to question the amount, let alone the gift (i.e. the guy who gave the couple a gift basket and they freaked out).
Golden
Administrator
@King Du this conversation fr,fr,fr reminds me of this advice I read a few yrs back:
"Topic:
He said — I’ll buy you whatever diamond and setting you want .. Even if I have to finance some of it.
Reply:
What a sweetheart you have there!
He can tell this is important to you and he just wants you to be happy. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said that.
I think it’s nice that you’re offering to give up the idea of the Tacori setting for now. But if he’s willing to finance the whole thing, find out first what it would cost and what the monthly payments would be before you write off that idea. Depending on the terms of the loan, the interest, the length of of the payment period, etc., it might not be that much more per month to just finance the whole thing. Take into account also your expected earnings, possible tax refunds, bonuses/commissions, that may be coming your way, etc.
I think it’s easier and less stressful to get it right from the beginning rather than to raise the subject again in the future when you may have other financial obligations, which will make upgrading the ring seem like a wasteful luxury.
However, it’s your call and it depends on both of your comfort zones.
It sounds like you two will get this figured out one way or another. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!"
My opinion of it hasn't changed.
If you got it like that... Do you...
But if you don't,, I don't think it's bad at ask to consider what's coming back in for a wedding.
A house warming isn't the same type of celebration.
You not getting a venue on top of decorations and catering... Those things cost money.... Now again of you got it, that's one thing...
But if you really don't, I can't see the harm in taking into consideration what's life going to be like after we spend this money on this wedding.
Knowing you likely getting a couple thousand back greatly changes things when you working on a budget....
But if you don't,, I don't think it's bad at ask to consider what's coming back in for a wedding.
A house warming isn't the same type of celebration.
You not getting a venue on top of decorations and catering... Those things cost money.... Now again of you got it, that's one thing...
But if you really don't, I can't see the harm in taking into consideration what's life going to be like after we spend this money on this wedding.
Knowing you likely getting a couple thousand back greatly changes things when you working on a budget....
Golden
Administrator
the hope is fine but the expectation is not. expectation and entitlement are connected.
factoring in potential gifts while budgeting for a wedding is a dangerous path.
appreciate them but don't rely on it. if you'd be at a loss in the worst case where you got no cash gifts, however unlikely that may be, then don't overshoot your budget. it's simple.
Golden
Administrator
its cool if you could definitely afford it but that post was literally telling her to factor in bonuses and tax refunds, things which aren't guaranteed or foolproof.
which is cool if you can afford to lose that cash but foolish if not.
Golden
Administrator
that isn't thorough planning because it isn't based on reality, it's based on potentials and hopefully's. potentials and hopefully's are great for thoughts but terrible for actual planning.
There's a reason why banks and such don't give you mortgage approval based on your potential earnings but your current ones.
even if it's likely, it still isn't to be relied upon. that's being reasonable.
I live in reality... the store gave me like 3k credit,, I said I'm not going over 1k... figured I could swing $100 a month payments.... And looked for the nicest shit under a G
When it came to wedding planning, i was like as long as we keep it under 5 k we should be good, cuz we getting at least that in gifts, and we can still throw one hell of a party which we did....
Only thing we got back way more....
Had I knew how much we was getting back... That budget prolly would have went up..... But I did think it would be entitled to think we was getting more than 5k back....