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OPINION Thoughts on questioning your child after away from home visit.

Loquacious

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So, I had a good conversation with this guy I know.

The conversation was based around asking your child if anyone mistreated them in any way while they were away from home.

He was mad because his BM asked their daughter if anyone mistreated her or did anything inappropriate to her while she was visiting her grandparents (on his side of the family).

So before, I give my thoughts, what do you think? Should she not have asked that? Is she wrong for wanting to know? Is he tripping?

Do you ask these questions? Would you ask these questions?Why or why not?
 
Just got off the phone with the negro, I wanted to post the question while it was still fresh in my head.

See y’all tomorrow.
 
thats your child.....the father should understand....if he dont...then he is not a good father.

fuck that....i trust no one with my kids.

family are the ones the child may trust more than anyone and it more than likely to not say somthing.

with all these perverts out here....nah

both mother and father should ask this shit.
 
@Kandy i dont mean to get in your business...but you may need to cut the nigga. even as a freind.

hes making it about him.....its about the child.

protect the child first an foremost.

the child may not be able to speak to one parent and may tell the other....but the point is....protect the child.
 
It's normal to ask about how things went. My kids are down South with family for the summer and I want to know everything thats going on good or bad. They keep calling me every five minutes but that's another story. If the kids are very young you should be careful how you word the questions so you aren't putting negative suggestions into their heads. It's important to have family connections on all sides.
 
It's normal to ask about how things went. My kids are down South with family for the summer and I want to know everything thats going on good or bad. They keep calling me every five minutes but that's another story. If the kids are very young you should be careful how you word the questions so you aren't putting negative suggestions into their heads. It's important to have family connections on all sides.

This!!!

i wouldnt mind it as much if it didnt feel like it was a constant attempt to check to see what I'm doing. I don't question my daughter about her outings/stays with her mother.

I dont have any questionable family members around my daughter anyway.
 
This!!!

i wouldnt mind it as much if it didnt feel like it was a constant attempt to check to see what I'm doing. I don't question my daughter about her outings/stays with her mother.

I dont have any questionable family members around my daughter anyway.
that you know of.

nigga...a questionable person is questionable for a reason...

at some point they had to start or do something that can be seen as questionable.

dont allow you child to be the first of some dumb shit because you overlooked that they didnt do nothing until they do something
 
This!!!

i wouldnt mind it as much if it didnt feel like it was a constant attempt to check to see what I'm doing. I don't question my daughter about her outings/stays with her mother.

I dont have any questionable family members around my daughter anyway.
it isn't always self-evidently questionable ppl who violate kids tho. the stats on child abuse are so high because it's typically ppl u trust.

not being able to communicate with a parent bcuz they don't wanna keep an open mind to the possibility of someone they love harming their child doesn't help.

kids aren't always confident enough to just speak out in the moment. they might not even have the vocab to recognize something as not quite right. asking is good habit and not a reflection of how you view the person you're asking about, as long as it's done in an age appropriate way.
 
it isn't always self-evidently questionable ppl who violate kids tho. the stats on child abuse are so high because it's typically ppl u trust.

not being able to communicate with a parent bcuz they don't wanna keep an open mind to the possibility of someone they love harming their child doesn't help.

kids aren't always confident enough to just speak out in the moment. they might not even have the vocab to recognize something as not quite right. asking is good habit and not a reflection of how you view the person you're asking about, as long as it's done in an age appropriate way.
exactly....

no one knows someone is a murderer until they know they murdered someone
 
Quick story.

We had a crazy incident in my family with my little cousin. I got bunk beds at my house and we was playing in my room and I putting her up to the top bunk and taking her down a lot.

I had her in age by like 7 years. So if she was 4 I was like 11.

She goes home and tells her parents I touched her butt and her privates.

She got real fast as fuck. I knew got damn well I didn't do nuffin wrong, but that ain't stop my uncle and Aunt from tryna spin it until my mother did the reasonable thing and let my little cousin tell the whole story. She was clearly talking about me pushing her up on the top bunk. She had no idea the context her parents were suggesting.

The entire ordeal was very fucked up.

So from that I say, yes question your kids, but be reasonable
 
exactly....

no one knows someone is a murderer until they know they murdered someone
a murderer or a serial killer?

by definition, you kill someone, you are a murderer, but that doesnt mean you are Jason Voorhies either
 
So, I had a good conversation with this guy I know.

The conversation was based around asking your child if anyone mistreated them in any way while they were away from home.

He was mad because his BM asked their daughter if anyone mistreated her or did anything inappropriate to her while she was visiting her grandparents (on his side of the family).

So before, I give my thoughts, what do you think? Should she not have asked that? Is she wrong for wanting to know? Is he tripping?

Do you ask these questions? Would you ask these questions?Why or why not?



LMAOOO fucked up

But yeah it's within her right to ask and it's different times today you don't know what's going on with people anymore as far as what they got going on with their closeted perverted/abusive ways.

I could see why the guy would get mad though he'll get over it though once he stops being offended and actually uses logic.
 
it isn't always self-evidently questionable ppl who violate kids tho. the stats on child abuse are so high because it's typically ppl u trust.

not being able to communicate with a parent bcuz they don't wanna keep an open mind to the possibility of someone they love harming their child doesn't help.

kids aren't always confident enough to just speak out in the moment. they might not even have the vocab to recognize something as not quite right. asking is good habit and not a reflection of how you view the person you're asking about, as long as it's done in an age appropriate way.

What i meant is, i dont leave my child alone with any adult outside of my parents...her mother knows this, but still does things like Babelipss mentioned by putting suggestive thoughts in her head by continuing to ask her questions about what she's been doing...
 
exactly....

no one knows someone is a murderer until they know they murdered someone
plus, how many adults do we talk to (assuming trust is built) and learn of childhood abuse or molestation? as a woman, I noticed a really high number of women from all sorts of walks of life, class levels, family setups, have been violated as kids. it's common af.

by establishing a habit where you check on them after they're unsupervised with others, u are more likely to be the person the child confides in.

a lot of familiar abusers don't go straight to 100 out the gate either, they build up. so by questionig your child, you might catch something in it's early stages.
What i meant is, i dont leave my child alone with any adult outside of my parents...her mother knows this, but still does things like Babelipss mentioned by putting suggestive thoughts in her head by continuing to ask her questions about what she's been doing...

unfortunately there are a lot of people who were abused by their grandparents, so her questioning isn't completely unreasonable altho I can understand how it would seem that way to you since those are your parents.

when you say putting suggestive thoughts, can you give examples? doesn't have to be specific or pulling from something actually said.

ultimately as long as you're asking in the best interest of your child and not to poison ties, asking about anyone is fine. even the other parent. the trick is to do it in a way that doesn't insinuate they already did something.
 
Quick story.

We had a crazy incident in my family with my little cousin. I got bunk beds at my house and we was playing in my room and I putting her up to the top bunk and taking her down a lot.

I had her in age by like 7 years. So if she was 4 I was like 11.

She goes home and tells her parents I touched her butt and her privates.

She got real fast as fuck. I knew got damn well I didn't do nuffin wrong, but that ain't stop my uncle and Aunt from tryna spin it until my mother did the reasonable thing and let my little cousin tell the whole story. She was clearly talking about me pushing her up on the top bunk. She had no idea the context her parents were suggesting.

The entire ordeal was very fucked up.

So from that I say, yes question your kids, but be reasonable
alot of people havent dealt with their own demons so they hear shit that wasnt said and react.

i once was with family and someones kid said they was sleepy so they laid on the carpet...another kid start rubbin the kids butt.
everyone breaks out in a panic. they question the kid....parents was about to fight...all types of shit.

turns out the kid only knows that his mother rocks him to sleep. she puts her hand on his butt and rocks him to sleep in her bed. so thats what the kid was doing to help the other kid get to sleep.

shit was real innocent but got outta hand real fast.
 
a murderer or a serial killer?

by definition, you kill someone, you are a murderer, but that doesnt mean you are Jason Voorhies either
you missed the point.

you dont know someone will kill someone. but you know they are a murderer when they have killed someone.

so murderer or serial killer...is just a title.

but both had to start somewhere
 
plus, how many adults do we talk to (assuming trust is built) and learn of childhood abuse or molestation? as a woman, I noticed a really high number of women from all sorts of walks of life, class levels, family setups, have been violated as kids. it's common af.

by establishing a habit where you check on them after they're unsupervised with others, u are more likely to be the person the child confides in.

a lot of familiar abusers don't go straight to 100 out the gate either, they build up. so by questionig your child, you might catch something in it's early stages.


unfortunately there are a lot of people who were abused by their grandparents, so her questioning isn't completely unreasonable altho I can understand how it would seem that way to you since those are your parents.

when you say putting suggestive thoughts, can you give examples? doesn't have to be specific or pulling from something actually said.

ultimately as long as you're asking in the best interest of your child and not to poison ties, asking about anyone is fine. even the other parent. the trick is to do it in a way that doesn't insinuate they already did something.

she wasnt abused by her grandparents, and if there was ANY questionable behavior, I myself wouldnt allow my daughter to be around that

her thing is mainly with my cousins who she thinks dont like her. She'll ask stuff like who was there and what did she do, who did she play with, etc...

she'll take something my daughter said as a response, and twist it into something else.
 
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