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This Ain’t Random Enough

Just got a text from my wife. She said that the school counselor called her saying that our oldest daughter was talking about wanting to die. And said it’s not the first time stating this. We had her with a therapist about her anxiety but had to stop because her therapist went out of network. It’s one of the things that a parent fears and with everything that is happening with us, our family’s mental can’t take too much more of this.

It is depression. Sadly, her mom and me both deal with depression.


Come to find out it’s her so-called friends who is picking on her and fat shaming her. The thing is that she is not even fat, she is really tall for her age. But these so called friends of hers has caused her so many problems. We want her to whoop their ass but we know that she is not that type of kid.

Our middle daughter had a "friend" when she was in 5th or 6th grade. They were really close it seemed, the girl introduced her to Buddhism, some Panamanian culture (her moms from from Panama) and a bunch of other shit. Come to find out the girl would be cool with her in private but amongst the other kids in school she would talk shit about her. We found out when my wife waked in on her crying like crazy one day while she was on the phone with ole girl. That was the last time we ever allowed her to be around her outside of school. We sat her down and had a long ass talk with her about how she was worth so much more than this, that the girl was never really her friend despite her being nice to her when she was over her crib and whatnot. Took a lot of long talks with her to move past it, and that was also helped along with our relocating to Vegas. She said that before we moved the girl came to her and apologized, and it seemed sincere, but she didn't accept it and just walked away from her. Years later the girl reached out on Facebook, again trying to apologize but our daughter blocked her without responding. Even with that, there was a deep seated issue with idealizing suicide that we found out about when she was 17-18 years old that was brought on by that whole ordeal. I've had many long, deep convos with her about it, but eventually she started therapy and is now on meds for her anxiety and depression. She's now 26, living in the northeast, living and loving life and enjoying it.

I said all of that to say: Talk to her, try to get her to see that this friend ain't a friend. Therapy is a must, but there's a lot of power to be had in having conversations with mom, you, or both of y'all. Moms can take the caring, nurturing role and you can to, but I would always sprinkle my talks with a bit of humor to put her at ease. Maybe it'll work for you too.
 
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