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Step Parent Pt.3 (Should The Kid Call The Step Parent Mom/Dad?)

BNE said:
these r some of my earlier posts in this thread.



a child of mine calling someone other than me "mom/mother/ma/mommy" would not work. it would not be functional. there would be discord.



it would cause contention in my household.

if it causes tension or leaves sum1 feelin severely disrespected, it isn't gonna fly. that was an exemption I repeatedly made.
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Ok. I see your point. So because Future is mad he should call Russell something acceptable to Future?
 
Lurker10 said:
Ok. I see your point. So because Future is mad he should call Russell something acceptable to Future?
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here's what isn't clear: is that kid even calling Russell pops or dad or some similar term? or is Russell referring to himself as that in social media dedications? that kid looks like he's 3 or something. for real, we might just be talking about Russell referring to himself in third person.

if the kid did initiate it, and Future has a srs issue with that, Future shld have a conversation with the kid during his visitation days explaining y it isn't respectful to his bio dad. and he needs to have a convo with Ciara and Russell about not enabling in their time.

example:

kid: did dad's game go well?
ciara: Russell had a good game honey

See? The kid will eventually correct their behavior if the adults don't play along. u can do that without pressurizing.

If the kid didn't initiate it n its the adults who conditioned him to say that (example: "say good morning to papa Russ!" said in phone calls), Future can confront them about boundaries.
 
If my son was younger(1-3) and a fatherly figure came in his life and I married the man. If my son called him daddy and his real father was okay with it, I wouldn't force a change. Knowing my sons father he wouldn't be okay with it, so it would've been Mr. ??? I only see it this way because I was in this situation. My mom and step dad were married for over 10 years.

My step dad remarried and his new wife, we call Ms. ???


My son is 8. If my new man came in being super step dad, my son will call him Mr. ????


My family is not like many others.
 
Kandy Pants said:
If my son was younger(1-3) and a fatherly figure came in his life and I married the man. If my son called him daddy and his real father was okay with it, I wouldn't force a change. Knowing my sons father he wouldn't be okay with it, so it would've been Mr. ??? I only see it this way because I was in this situation. My mom and step dad were married for over 10 years.

My step dad remarried and his new wife, we call Ms. ???


My son is 8. If my new man came in being super step dad, my son will call him Mr. ????
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y the question marks? only u know what wld work for ur blended family. aint gotta explain to us.
 
BNE said:
y the question marks? only u know what wld work for ur blended family. aint gotta explain to us.
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Question mark meant fill in the blank maybe I should've used Mr. such and such or Mr. ****

I wasn't explaining anything.
 
A nick-name should be used for Russ IMO..."Russ Russ", "Bam Bam" since the kid is 3 or so, or "bighead" <---- a name that some/most of my cousins and my brother and sisters used to call their step-dads. "Ducky" is another name used. If it wasn't their mom they'll call her "Pie or Bee" or create a nick-name, something cool and respectful that they could call them instead of saying Mr. and Mrs all the time. My grandparents never wanted any of their kids and grand kids to use the word Dad or Mom to someone who wasn't their real biological parent. Respect the real ones who created you even if they wasn't shit or if they are still in yo life, give them that. So the grandparents, more so my Madea would tell the parent to make the kid create a nickname for your current bf/gf/husband/wife.

First thing she'll ask, "What you got dat baby calling him/her"
 
I don't think I care either way

We talking about a child with a limited vocabulary? Who cares

Once they get old enough, they can choose what name they wanna call them

As an adult I wouldn't care, I guess is my point
 
Kandy Pants said:
If my son was younger(1-3) and a fatherly figure came in his life and I married the man. If my son called him daddy and his real father was okay with it, I wouldn't force a change. Knowing my sons father he wouldn't be okay with it, so it would've been Mr. ??? I only see it this way because I was in this situation. My mom and step dad were married for over 10 years.

My step dad remarried and his new wife, we call Ms. ???


My son is 8. If my new man came in being super step dad, my son will call him Mr. ????


My family is not like many others.
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u stayed in touch with ur step dad after he n ur mom divorced? that shows the depth of the bond.
 
I never put much thought into this. I always figure if you're known to your kid and they see you enough they know you as mom and dad. But depending on when that other person comes in a childs life i can see how a kid can use the title with someone else. For my comfort id prefer my kid address the step parent by name. But 15 to 20 years from now if she calls him pops or something wouldnt stress. If im there im there.
 
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