So I quit watching porn and masturbating.

[Cosign Man]

Bruh... Growing up we had porn. In the 70's it was magazines unless someone had an 8mm projector and was willing to sneak their parents reels out and risk setting up those noisy ass cheap projectors. In the 80's we had Skinemax, late night HBO, and Showtime. Plus a lot of cats found their parent's secret VHS or Beta tape loaded with porn on it. All of that in addition to magazines that ranged from Playboy to straight up hardcore porn. By the time I hit the 7th grade I had a collection of over 20 skin magazines that I would regularly take to school and trade with the rest of the fellas. My prized possession back then was the Penthouse that Vanessa Williams lost her crown over. By the 10th grade I had two 3hr Beta tapes full of porn as well. Again, we used to pass 'em around all the time.

Nah b, porn itself ain't the issue. This IS a maturity issue. Like I said, I've regularly gone to a topless resort and nobody there acts like live, bare titties=time to rub one out. It ain't like that at all. Everybody there is pissy drunk but ain't nobody jackin off at the pool. If you grew up in parts of Europe where topless sunbathing is the norm you ain't acting like that either. There are place there where co-ed showers and locker rooms in gym facilities are the norm and nobody cares when a naked woman walks by or stands in the shower stall next to you. If you're ever in Berlin and are invited by locals to hang out at a spa, full nudity is required... And nobody gives a shit, and that's how it should be. There's places over there where public nudity is completely legal (again, Berlin is one such a place) and while some may raise an eyebrow to a chick shopping butt ass naked ain't nobody finna run to cover her up or call the cops.

This all comes back to you... The cats that feel this uncontrollable urge to fap whenever a naked woman or even the hint of a naked woman is presented to you in whatever form that takes have issues that are completely outside the scope of a healthy attitude towards nakedness. It's beyond even the totality of America's borderline puritanical attitude towards nakedness and sexuality, which is completely unhealthy but y'all are even worse than that.

I have to agree with this. The americans
Puritanical attributes have contributed to the downslope of sexual maturity. We all shall contain sexual maturity attributes like our pen pal @konceptjones .

 

[Lou Cypher]

Fact is you still have the urge when you see a naked woman. Fuck kinda shit is this? This shit is a foreign concept not just to me, but to a great deal of civilized adult humans. You could never spend time at a regular ass beach overseas in many countries in Europe as women over there have no issue being topless on the beach. It's pretty much the norm and nobody bats an eye at the shit.


It's called being a mature adult and not having the mentality of a 7th grader sneaking through Daddy's titty magazines.


The resort the wife and I used to go to in Cancun is the only legit topless resort over there; Temptations Spa Resort, formerly known as Blue Bay Getaway. Folks are always out at the pools or any of the outdoor bars, drinks in hand, choppin it up with chicks with their titties out like it ain't shit. Plenty of times we were sittin in the pool or laid out on the lounge chairs and the chick or chicks next to us or talking to us within a group were just there with titties hanging. And the entertainment crew could have us all butt ass naked doing shit like playing naked tequila volleyball, sex positions games, or anything like that and it's just fun for everyone there. Let y'all niggas tell it y'all would be out there sweatin bullets "resisting the urge" to whip it out and rub one out where you stand just being in a place like that. But if you were sexually mature it's nothing; it's a naked body and while a nice pair of tits or ass is great to look at its still not a reason to jack off.

Hey dude, All im saying is ill see a chick and think to myself "i would fuck the shit out of her". Thats all. Im not trying to hide a boner or anything. I think my thoughts are pretty common for other males as well.

 

[konceptjones]

Ok and I agree too. Maybe I'm not getting the tone he's coming from. But to assume my sexual maturity as well as anyone else's on here is an insult. I'm not here to make excuses about my issues or problems, but I'm also not here to prejudge on another's condition and take it for face value.

If one cannot see a naked woman without feeling the urge to rub one out, then that is a sexual maturity issue. You have equated nakedness to masturbation in an unhealthy way and something like that had to have happened long ago and you haven't moved past that point. The key to breaking this isn't abstaining from porn or masturbation, it's seeking help to understand why you have connected the two in that manner. Only then can you break this habit. Abstinence only creates the conditions for a god-awful relapse into this behavior through deprivation. If you starve the body of food you will gorge yourself. If you have been thirsty for too long you will likely drown yourself and overconsume water or whatever liquid you come across. Likewise if you starve your body of it's natural need for sexual release you'll likely get to a point where you end up binging on porn and KY and feel like shit afterwards OR it'll manifest itself in your dreams (ergo, the "wet dreams thread").

You can't continue like this. The shit ain't healthy and only serves to further cement your already unhealthy towards nakedness and sexuality.

 

[Traestar]

I agree. Prejudgement is not an attribute we shall contain nor nor continue.

Okay great. To wherever this topic of uncontrollable fapping came from, I hope to bring home that I CAN control myself and I know what a grown woman looks like. We are dealing with a powerful energy within each other that we all differentiate as to how we control that energy. That reproductive energy we generate is our drive for everyday life, it's more than just for reproduction.

The system that we live in thrives on keeping us unmotivated and undriven so that we do their daily deeds. Maturity is experience and is about living life to way you know how learning from your environment. So the lack of experience sexually should not just be one particular thing. There could many reasons for the lack of experience (career, religion, marital status, beliefs etc.)

 

[Traestar]

If one cannot see a naked woman without feeling the urge to rub one out, then that is a sexual maturity issue. You have equated nakedness to masturbation in an unhealthy way and something like that had to have happened long ago and you haven't moved past that point. The key to breaking this isn't abstaining from porn or masturbation, it's seeking help to understand why you have connected the two in that manner. Only then can you break this habit. Abstinence only creates the conditions for a god-awful relapse into this behavior through deprivation. If you starve the body of food you will gorge yourself. If you have been thirsty for too long you will likely drown yourself and overconsume water or whatever liquid you come across. Likewise if you starve your body of it's natural need for sexual release you'll likely get to a point where you end up binging on porn and KY and feel like shit afterwards OR it'll manifest itself in your dreams (ergo, the "wet dreams thread").

You can't continue like this. The shit ain't healthy and only serves to further cement your already unhealthy towards nakedness and sexuality.

Now I get where you're coming from. That's true. But remember, it is a normalized social behavior. So yea going to a sex therapist would be an option. And like any addictions, getting help is valuable. But if you are NOT aware of your issues and know that there is a movement/group of people helping everyone cope and rebuild themselves in all phases, your issue could go undiagnosed for as long as possible. The NoFap community uses other people's experience to inspire others on tips and techniques to reversing the mental state. You are going to go through wet dreams, relapsing, spiritual and mental imbalances, but through that it is an experience of bettering yourself and people around you.

 

[konceptjones]

Hey dude, All im saying is ill see a chick and think to myself "i would fuck the shit out of her". Thats all. Im not trying to hide a boner or anything. I think my thoughts are pretty common for other males as well.

Dawg, what heterosexual male wouldn't?

 

[konceptjones]

Now I get where you're coming from. That's true. But remember, it is a normalized social behavior. So yea going to a sex therapist would be an option. And like any addictions, getting help is valuable. But if you are NOT aware of your issues and know that there is a movement/group of people helping everyone cope and rebuild themselves in all phases, your issue could go undiagnosed for as long as possible. The NoFap community uses other people's experience to inspire others on tips and techniques to reversing the mental state. You are going to go through wet dreams, relapsing, spiritual and mental imbalances, but through that it is an experience of bettering yourself and people around you.

The problem is using abstinence as a replacement for therapy. There's a reason there are numerous posts here and back on the IC about y'all dudes relapsing and that's because you'll never get to the root of the problem with "No Fap". You can't treat something like this with a band-aid... And in this case "No Fap" is like a dollar store bandage that keeps coming off. You have to get help from a qualified, licensed therapist to get to the bottom of your issues surrounding sex. No Fap is a crutch; they mean well, and that's cool, but their approach to solving the problem is terribly misguided. It's kinda like AA, they replace one addiction with another but never really address and solve the underlying issues that caused the addiction in the first place.

 

[Traestar]

The problem is using abstinence as a replacement for therapy. There's a reason there are numerous posts here and back on the IC about y'all dudes relapsing and that's because you'll never get to the root of the problem with "No Fap". You can't treat something like this with a band-aid... And in this case "No Fap" is like a dollar store bandage that keeps coming off. You have to get help from a qualified, licensed therapist to get to the bottom of your issues surrounding sex. No Fap is a crutch; they mean well, and that's cool, but their approach to solving the problem is terribly misguided. It's kinda like AA, they replace one addiction with another but never really address and solve the underlying issues that caused the addiction in the first place.

NoFap is not saying to NOT have sex tho. You are replacing a stimulated activity with actual activity, so you are rewiring the brain. It is encouraged in Nofap. Abstinence is more of an individual choice, I mean to get alittle deeper there could be other reasons that deal with childhood, abuse, etc.

And honestly who is to say someone is not planning to talk to a therapist (They ain't cheap, nigga.) . It's not a crutch if your perception of the movement is NOT having sex at all. Those are personal choices that not everybody wants to take it that far, not everybody wants to go Monk Mode (Not having sex at all to maintain jing levels to highest degree).

 

[ChicagoFigure]

Damm the homie koncept jus wont let dudes not jerk off in peace smhnh

 

[Traestar]

Here's a video that explains this @konceptjones

 

[konceptjones]

NoFap is not saying to NOT have sex tho. You are replacing a stimulated activity with actual activity, so you are rewiring the brain. It is encouraged in Nofap. Abstinence is more of an individual choice, I mean to get alittle deeper there could be other reasons that deal with childhood, abuse, etc.

And honestly who is to say someone is not planning to talk to a therapist (They ain't cheap, nigga.) . It's not a crutch if your perception of the movement is NOT having sex at all. Those are personal choices that not everybody wants to take it that far, not everybody wants to go Monk Mode (Not having sex at all to maintain jing levels to highest degree).

When I talk of "abstaining", I mean from masturbation, not from sex all together using the broad definition of the word "restrain oneself from doing or enjoying something". I kept my response within that context, that you're looking to abstain from fapping.

Therapy costs money, this much is true, however if could be covered by your health insurance; you just gotta check.

 

[Traestar]

When I talk of "abstaining", I mean from masturbation, not from sex all together using the broad definition of the word "restrain oneself from doing or enjoying something". I kept my response within that context, that you're looking to abstain from fapping.

Therapy costs money, this much is true, however if could be covered by your health insurance; you just gotta check.

So you're basically saying abstaining from masturbation is only going to make the issue worse than better?

 

[konceptjones]

So you're basically saying abstaining from masturbation is only going to make the issue worse than better?

Yes. It's not a replacement for therapy. Like I said, AA only seeks to replace one addiction (alcohol addiction) with another instead of getting to the root of the issue. Every one of you in this thread that's been doing "no fap" has already relapsed multiple times; a sign that this really isn't helping you and only gives you the illusion of being in control.

Besides that, it's healthy. The medical community encourages it in as it appears to help reduce the risk of prostate cancer in the event you're not able to get some ass on a regular basis.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed...jaculation-may-decrease-prostate-cancer-risk/

And the peer-reviewed study that the NIH article is based on:

https://www.europeanurology.com/article/S0302-2838(16)00377-8/fulltext

 

[Traestar]

Yes. It's not a replacement for therapy. Like I said, AA only seeks to replace one addiction (alcohol addiction) with another instead of getting to the root of the issue. Every one of you in this thread that's been doing "no fap" has already relapsed multiple times; a sign that this really isn't helping you and only gives you the illusion of being in control.

Besides that, it's healthy. The medical community encourages it in as it appears to help reduce the risk of prostate cancer in the event you're not able to get some ass on a regular basis.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed...jaculation-may-decrease-prostate-cancer-risk/

And the peer-reviewed study that the NIH article is based on:

https://www.europeanurology.com/article/S0302-2838(16)00377-8/fulltext

I've seen the results of the things I've done with NoFap, that's the only results that matter to me and everyone is different. And it is besides withholding from releasing jing from ejaculation, it is the circulation of that jing energy that I'm most interested in which comes in meditative exercises like kundalini yoga, Qigong, etc.

That said, I have no interest in eurocentric research that can't even solve their own cancer research but want people to donate for lung, breast, and brain cancer for research.

Just because I've been relapsing multiple times, doesn't mean I'm failing. Jing energy is very powerful and once you learn how to hold for longer periods, it helps build your creative and intellectual drive as well as recirculate the vital nutrients in your body. There is a balance however, meaning you can't be addicted to ejaculation or sex but you can balance it out to get your fix of all so that it satisfies your dopamine. So in terms of "healthy", too much of anything is not healthy, too little of anything is not healthy.

Sex therapy would only be called upon for personal issues that deal with relationships with your significant other or partner and the interactions that follow. And I understand that the existence of porn has helped bridge the gap between actual intercourse, but it is what it is: a simulated activity that you are tricking the brain into thinking that you are having an actual interaction.

That said, it's not the actual ejaculation/masturbation that is the problem, it's what you doing to get to that dopamine rush. Because the porn today is so disruptive and dehumanizing, getting that dopamine rush of watching it is causing us to look at people especially our women differently. Not trying to sway you off from watching it, but peep the big picture with it.

It's an entire science that deals with your body's interaction with the opposite sex, that's why we even have to be careful of the women that we have sex with as well, because we are transferring their energies to ours and vice versa. And that could affect us negatively. So that's why when you are saying sexual maturity, I was trying to get where you are coming from. Because in my opinion, NO MAN determines another man's sexual maturity. I'm not for homosexuality at all for myself but I'm not going to judge another person's orientation or determine their orientation based on what they have or haven't done in their lives.

We learn from each other and could influence each other, but I'm not going to tell this mofo "Ayo if you don't do this shit, you gay". Fuck that, we supposed to be about our purpose, not fall into peer pressure that isn't healthy or beneficial. I'm for natural sexuality and stand by it but if you do not agree or understand it, it's not my place to change your mind.

 

[OGDirtyD]

I agree about lesbian porn being trash, I can't get off that shit at all I guess cus as a man you can put your self in that situation mentally. Def some fetish shit.

 

[Traestar]

I agree about lesbian porn being trash, I can't get off that shit at all I guess cus as a man you can put your self in that situation mentally. Def some fetish shit.

That's essentially what these pornos are creating, false fetishes that try to hook us.

 

[Preach2Teach]

I have been fucking up lately and I am now on day 2 again, I have had about 5 wanks within one week and now I'm feeling weak, at first I thought it was cool and didn't really feel any negatives but now I can feel it, my motivation is at an all time low so I will be getting back on track with this shit.

 

[OriginalMan!]

Maybe separate the porn from the yanking

 

[Traestar]

I have been fucking up lately and I am now on day 2 again, I have had about 5 wanks within one week and now I'm feeling weak, at first I thought it was cool and didn't really feel any negatives but now I can feel it, my motivation is at an all time low so I will be getting back on track with this shit.

I'm telling you man, start looking into some of those adaptogen herbs. Because for each time I relapse, those herbs help with recovery + other benefits.

 

[Traestar]

I've stopped counting my days, which has released the pressure that came with continuing with the days.