"Let's just be friends"

[Golden]

But your scenario is extreme af, chicks aint out here saying "u wanna be together" to strangers lol

If it's someone you work with but don't really know and they make an advance at u, then saying let's slow down and be friends and see where it goes makes perfect sense.

This is a spinoff from a discussion about curving niggas. Strangers approaching happens more to women so that's prolly y u think its extreme lol.

offering every dude that hollers ur friendship sounded unrealistic, cuz niggas will holler at women they've never met before.

Tellin them you just wanna be friends only gives that person hope. A foot in the the door in hopes that you change their mind.

They may stick around, but all they're doing is waiting. Waiting for another opportunity to shoot their shot again.

If a guy I already consider a friend shoots his shot, I let him know that I aint offering that now or ever n they can take my friendship or leave it. @ that point, if they r waiting then that's on them. I try to cut em off if I think they have no interest in being friends any longer.

if it's a stranger, there's no indication we'd be compatible as friends so they can handle a direct no.

 

[AP2.5]

But we are though. So do you believe that to be a bad thing?

Added: and it actually works better in my experience when you are. No secrets and absolute comfort/security.

im not saying its a bad thing if you are, idk...and my pov is limited when it comes to this b/c there havent been many females that appreciate 100% honesty

i was just saying, i dont think its a requirement. If it happens naturally, then cool...i guess my point is that when you stop doing stuff with your friends outside the relationship and solely do things with your s/o all b/c you're "besties"...that seems strange to me

 

[Goldie]

im not saying its a bad thing if you are, idk...and my pov is limited when it comes to this b/c there havent been many females that appreciate 100% honesty

i was just saying, i dont think its a requirement. If it happens naturally, then cool...i guess my point is that when you stop doing stuff with your friends outside the relationship and solely do things with your s/o all b/c you're "besties"...that seems strange to me

But why would u have to cut everybody off cuz you and ur girl are "bestfriends"?

 

[AP2.5]

But why would u have to cut everybody off cuz you and ur girl are "bestfriends"?

thats why i said its weird b/c people do that shit

 

[Golden]

im not saying its a bad thing if you are, idk...and my pov is limited when it comes to this b/c there havent been many females that appreciate 100% honesty

i was just saying, i dont think its a requirement. If it happens naturally, then cool...i guess my point is that when you stop doing stuff with your friends outside the relationship and solely do things with your s/o all b/c you're "besties"...that seems strange to me

there r couples who distance from their friends when they aint even besties with their SO. I dont think they do it cuz their SO is their best friend.

 

[IP360]

So how would some of yall handle your best friend cuttin you off outta the blue for their s/o?

 

[SeaSnake]

I dont think too hard on it i understand the friend phase vs friend zone. If she feeling you like that but wants to know more about who you are before jumping into something thats cool.

 

[Golden]

I dont think too hard on it i understand the friend phase vs friend zone. If she feeling you like that but wants to know more about who you are before jumping into something thats cool.

The friend zone isn't real. Y'all need to stop seeing something positive as a punishment.

So how would some of yall handle your best friend cuttin you off outta the blue for their s/o?

I'd wonder if their SO is controlling, cuz demanding you cut off your friends and family is a usual sign. You can be head over heels for someone and not neglect your other friendships. Maintaining a social life doesn't have to be a sacrifice.

 

[AP2.5]

the friend zone is real trini

just b/c you and a select few females dont acknowledge it, or another way to put it, just b/c you are cognizant of that and make your intentions known from jump, dont deny that there are females who knowingly use guys they know are romantically interested in for their personal gain

 

[Golden]

the friend zone is real trini

just b/c you and a select few females dont acknowledge it, or another way to put it, just b/c you are cognizant of that and make your intentions known from jump, dont deny that there are females who knowingly use guys they know are romantically interested in for their personal gain

make that thread b.

 

[IP360]

The friend zone isn't real. Y'all need to stop seeing something positive as a punishment.

I'd wonder if their SO is controlling, cuz demanding you cut off your friends and family is a usual sign. You can be head over heels for someone and not neglect your other friendships. Maintaining a social life doesn't have to be a sacrifice.

What if it wasn't idea of the s/o for them to do it. What if that friend decided on their own accord you cut you off?

 

[Golden]

What if it wasn't idea of the s/o for them to do it. What if that friend decided on their own accord you cut you off?

then they did me a favor? Ion need birds in my life.

 

[Judge Dread]

I think when you get into a relationship there will be positive and negative reactions to it. The people f the opposite sex that you are friends with will either respect your situation and move to a more platonic friendship of they will stop being your friend. Now if a friend that was just a friend has a problem with you not being as accessible as you once were when you were single then that is their problem. I also only think the friend zone applies when when person wants to pursue and the other doesn't. But if you know you want something and the other person doesn't and it is causing problems for you why be their friend at all?

 

[Judge Dread]

Also I didn't realize that I used the opposite sex. I apologize to anyone in a same sex situation. Just understand that I am not familiar so it doesn't enter my thought process.

 

[Golden]

if you know you want something and the other person doesn't and it is causing problems for you why be their friend at all?

this is y i don't believe the friendzone exists. it's so simple. if ppl wanna screw themselves over, call a spade a spade.

 

[Black 🖤]

What r your thoughts on using an offer of friendship to blow someone off?

You mean tellin every guy you're not interested in, who's interested in you, that he can only get a friendship out of you?

If so, Id say very seldom to naw. I don't have or want to build friendships wit everybody that I cross paths with.

 

[AP2.5]

make that thread b.

i dont think a thread is needed but lets see after this

im not too tough to admit for the internet that i have been interested in a couple of ladies that didnt feel the same way. Throughout it, the thought was still in the back of my mind that maybe one day, she would reconsider, but i never pressed the issue once it became clear that she preferred me as a friend and in a non sexual way.

I had to accept that doesnt mean i am a bad person or its some stain on my character as a person, but just, not everyone you like, is going to like you back with that same energy. I however began to embrace this zone as it was a gateway to her friends. I mean, if im such a nice guy, but you dont like me, for whatever reason, then you have no issue putting me on your friends. Now when they talk about how immaculate the pipe game is, then thats when the big bucks start rolling in.

 

[Judge Dread]

this is y i don't believe the friendzone exists. it's so simple. if ppl wanna screw themselves over, call a spade a spade.

I think some people stick around hoping the other persons feelings will change. But then they spend all that time upset. I had females friends that were just friends and we could hang out and I would talk to women with no thoughts. I can't imagine any of them coming and telling me there was a problem with it because they had feelings. As a matter of fact me and my female friends would do the bait and switch because nothing attracts people more than seeing you with someone else.

 

[Golden]

i dont think a thread is needed but lets see after this

im not too tough to admit for the internet that i have been interested in a couple of ladies that didnt feel the same way. Throughout it, the thought was still in the back of my mind that maybe one day, she would reconsider, but i never pressed the issue once it became clear that she preferred me as a friend and in a non sexual way.

I had to accept that doesnt mean i am a bad person or its some stain on my character as a person, but just, not everyone you like, is going to like you back with that same energy. I however began to embrace this zone as it was a gateway to her friends. I mean, if im such a nice guy, but you dont like me, for whatever reason, then you have no issue putting me on your friends. Now when they talk about how immaculate the pipe game is, then thats when the big bucks start rolling in.

I thought the friend zone meant that one party was still hoping they'd have a shot or planning on shooting their shot again, despite knowing where the other party stands. unless u were waiting around or convinced yourself that the friendship was a gateway to that persons romantic/sexual affections, were u really in the friend zone?

the scenario u described sounds like u accepted that all they wanted was friendship, n u became a friend accordingly, n u looked @ other prospects.

 

[IP360]

Also I didn't realize that I used the opposite sex. I apologize to anyone in a same sex situation. Just understand that I am not familiar so it doesn't enter my thought process.

I seriously doubt the LGBT community noticed that.

So I don't think you'll be getting any nasty emails or them protesting ABW. Lol.