Is “because I said so” really a valid reason?

[Loquacious]

I was having this discussion with some folks I know and we got on the topic about children asking why and parents responding “because I said so.”

As a child, if an adult in the family told me to do something, we couldn’t ask why but at times we did and got the response because I said so.

I use it now as a parent but also now that I’m grown I understand why asking “why?” is important and how “because I said so” is and was truly some bullshit ass reason.

Should your children or any child be allowed to ask why and if not, why aren’t they?
Is just because the parent said so REALLY a good reason for a kid to do something.

One person said that’s how she was raised and she was to never question an adult in her family. Her uncle made her touch his private parts and she asked why and his answer was because he said so. She ended up telling her mom and they handled him.

 

[Mooney]

Because I said so is typically a cop out.

Taking the time to explain to your child, why is pivotal to their understanding.

Don’t get me wrong I say it to kid, but I should draw out why I say what I said and back up and reasoning.

 

[B_A]

I didnt use that phrase with my girls cuz when they said "that's not a valid reason" I couldn't argue. What I can argue tho is logic and if they could win with logic they won.

Made for kids that question everyone and everything doesn't matter. Very difficult in the school years, teachers do not like being out logic-ed by 12yr olds.

 

[Rubato]

I didnt use that phrase with my girls cuz when they said "that's not a valid reason" I couldn't argue. What I can argue tho is logic and if they could win with logic they won.

Made for kids that question everyone and everything doesn't matter. Very difficult in the school years, teachers do not like being out logic-ed by 12yr olds.

Good point, I do think “because I said so” is a crutch for people who are afraid a kid might outsmart them

 

[B_A]

Good point, I do think “because I said so” is a crutch for people who are afraid a kid might outsmart them

Sometimes kids dont need the exact whys they cant do, have or say something. Makes them too smart for their own good.

 

[Chicity]

Depends on the situation

I ain't always got time to spell out whats going on; when I say duck, duck!

When I say move, move.

And the other times I ain't got the patience so yeah, cuz I said so

 

[DOS_patos]

I said it ...
Because at that point they playing and another sentence from going thru the wall.

Why is a challenge depending on the child.
But a valid question from others.

You have to know the child.

First why ...I'll explain.
Second why, they getting tossed like a Nintendo remote without the strap

 

[WhiteFace]

Depends on the situation

I ain't always got time to spell out whats going on; when I say duck, duck!

When I say move, move.

And the other times I aont got the patience so yeah, cuz I said so

Ok Chicago posters should be outliers. Not everyone dodging shots and crazy people like y’all do

 

[The Mad Titan]

Absolutely is. Sometimes its a situation where they wouldn't understand or agree with your reasoning anyway, but also don't know you're right.

I don't argue with nor explain everything I say to kids. Thats a big part of whats wrong with society now. These kids think they grown

 

[CeLLar-DooR]

If you tell your kid to do some thing, that you are their parent and they are your child is enough of a reason. I don't see any benefit at all in explainin' why you ask them to do stuff, all they're gonna do is try to be slick to get out of it.

Personally I think parents who discuss things like that with their children are doin' them a disservice. Children are children, they aren't little adults

 

[CeLLar-DooR]

Lol wow just went thru the thread. Modern parents are different man. Please lord don't give me any kids

 

[BDP™️]

Yep.

Why?

Because I said so.

 

[Black_Samson]

Depends on the circumstances.

I feel the constant use of it deprives kids of critical thinking, and since kids can no longer be free range(which also helps problem solving and independent thinking)... I fear kids in the future will be severely hindered upon reaching adulthood.

 

[CeLLar-DooR]

What circumstances would because I said so be unsuitable for?
More time when kids are askin' why they have to do stuff it's coz they don't wanna do it, not because they're struggling with the dynamics of the parent/child relationship

 

[WhiteFace]

I wonder if this thread and stupid traditions are connected

 

[Black_Samson]

What circumstances would because I said so be unsuitable for?
More time when kids are askin' why they have to do stuff it's coz they don't wanna do it, not because they're struggling with the dynamics of the parent/child relationship

Time.

Mainly time.

Time don't always permit one to explain why things need to be the way we said it, sometimes you just need to whip out BISS. But many people misuse it to avoid proper parenting.

Live your life on a schedule and you will find you have time to say the things that need to be said.

Living your life disrespecting time and doing things when you are good and ready is why many parents will say it can't be done, which is neglect.

You do not deprive a constantly growing brain of it's sustenance, you help them understand your logic that way they know how to better understand you and can better understand how to take initiative, thereby negating any further need of BISS.

Takes consistency tho, can't half ass it.

 

[Hater Hearst Helmsley]

Depends on the situation

I ain't always got time to spell out whats going on; when I say duck, duck!

When I say move, move.

And the other times I ain't got the patience so yeah, cuz I said so

Pretty much this.

 

[Valentinez A. Kaiser]

Depends on the situation

I ain't always got time to spell out whats going on; when I say duck, duck!

When I say move, move.

And the other times I ain't got the patience so yeah, cuz I said so

Ok Chicago posters should be outliers. Not everyone dodging shots and crazy people like y’all do

LMAO I was just thinking, "Is this nigga raising his kids in the battlefield?"....then I saw it was Chicity that posted!

 

[Banginscrew901]

My mom did it to me dad would explain to me. Now that I have 2 lil ones I try to explain to my 4 year old cause she ask why and things go pretty smooth so far. My son only 2 and I see we gone butt heads cause he acts just like me. But explaining to them why things you do I feel like in the long run they'll come to you about more things and they'll think negot they do something stupid. Plus I feel like if you say cause I said so it's a cop out and you missing out on a teaching moment

 

[CeLLar-DooR]

Time.

Mainly time.

Time don't always permit one to explain why things need to be the way we said it, sometimes you just need to whip out BISS. But many people misuse it to avoid proper parenting.

Live your life on a schedule and you will find you have time to say the things that need to be said.

Living your life disrespecting time and doing things when you are good and ready is why many parents will say it can't be done, which is neglect.

You do not deprive a constantly growing brain of it's sustenance, you help them understand your logic that way they know how to better understand you and can better understand how to take initiative, thereby negating any further need of BISS.

Takes consistency tho, can't half ass it.

Most time you would say BISS to a child would be if they ask why they have to do chores. If your kid asks why they have to go to school then you can sit them explain the importance of education, but then that's only a convo you should have once or twice.