Hide And Seek
New Member
For context, I am the only Black man in my music class and I only have one other Black classmate who is a woman. The rest of the people in my class are white.
Despite growing up in a multicultural city, the only time I had a white friend was in school and he was Polish. The rest of my friends were either Black, Biracial or South Asian.
Now being in university/college, I’m slightly taken aback because I don’t really know how to properly fit in with these people. I was having this convo with my friend (the other Black classmate) yesterday and she said that I need to put myself out there more and engage with the white people in our class although most of them don’t go out of their way to speak to me.
It’s not to say that I don’t speak to them because I have been doing group work with some of them. There is just no friendship or relationship outside of that.
My friend has established a rapport with most of the whites in our class and is able to chill with them, have lengthy convos with them etc.
She is right about engaging more with them but the thing is as a Black man, I feel like I have to go out of my way to appear “non-threatening” or do/say things that will make them comfortable.
I feel like in most cases, cacs will feel more comfortable around certain Black women than a Black man, especially one who isn’t going to coon for them. I am not trying to do that.
Any tips or advice you can give? Thanks in advance.
TL;DR:
- I’m the only Black man alongside a Black woman in an all-white class
- Not used to being in all-white spaces as I had Black, biracial and South Asian friends growing up
- Struggling to fit in with the cacs in my class. Friend tells me to make an effort in engaging with them.
- I have talked to some of the cacs in my class as part of our group work but there is no other relationship between us outside of that meanwhile my friend has managed to build a rapport or relationship with most of them
- Feel like I have to appear as “non-threatening” or go out of my way to make them feel comfortable in order to get to know them more. Definitely not interested in cooning either.
Despite growing up in a multicultural city, the only time I had a white friend was in school and he was Polish. The rest of my friends were either Black, Biracial or South Asian.
Now being in university/college, I’m slightly taken aback because I don’t really know how to properly fit in with these people. I was having this convo with my friend (the other Black classmate) yesterday and she said that I need to put myself out there more and engage with the white people in our class although most of them don’t go out of their way to speak to me.
It’s not to say that I don’t speak to them because I have been doing group work with some of them. There is just no friendship or relationship outside of that.
My friend has established a rapport with most of the whites in our class and is able to chill with them, have lengthy convos with them etc.
She is right about engaging more with them but the thing is as a Black man, I feel like I have to go out of my way to appear “non-threatening” or do/say things that will make them comfortable.
I feel like in most cases, cacs will feel more comfortable around certain Black women than a Black man, especially one who isn’t going to coon for them. I am not trying to do that.
Any tips or advice you can give? Thanks in advance.
TL;DR:
- I’m the only Black man alongside a Black woman in an all-white class
- Not used to being in all-white spaces as I had Black, biracial and South Asian friends growing up
- Struggling to fit in with the cacs in my class. Friend tells me to make an effort in engaging with them.
- I have talked to some of the cacs in my class as part of our group work but there is no other relationship between us outside of that meanwhile my friend has managed to build a rapport or relationship with most of them
- Feel like I have to appear as “non-threatening” or go out of my way to make them feel comfortable in order to get to know them more. Definitely not interested in cooning either.