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Have/Would U Take Back Ur S/O After They Cheated?

AP21 said:
this is just one story. I have several

i have a REALLY good friend that is currently going through a divorce. I havent talked to him directly out of respect for his situation but i've heard bits and pieces from other close friends in our circle.

ITS A LOT of shit and not just black and white, but the gist of it is he and his wife got married about 5 years ago. He immediately wanted a family, but for some reason, she wanted to wait. He waited and when she decided she was ready, they found out she had some medical issues that would cause huge complications for them to have a child.

So, now he's mad b/c he felt had they tried earlier, they couldv'e been found out and could've done something about it. And she was one of those NOLA Catholics...they are a different breed, so a lot of stuff she was doing or wasnt doing, she used her religion as a scapegoat. The inability for them to have a child just compounded issues they were already having.

They decided to separate. During the separation, he smashed another chick, got her preggo. By the time he told his "wife", the baby was either born or a week or so from being born. Obviously, she feeling like she cant take him back now b/c he done went and had a baby with someone else. Now, w/o talking to him, i cant get an idea of what was going on through his head, but i know the dude, and i know he didnt just wake up and decided he was just gon fuck some chick just for the sake of having a baby, however, knowing his "wife", i could understand a lot of the other issues they were having throughout their marriage.

But on the outside, everyone is gonna think he is a pos b/c he got another woman pregnant while they were divorced. Well, i dont think his wife ever had any thoughts of them reconciling anyway, and im not sure why, but she would also run a lot of stuff through her mother/sister (who was also going through a divorce iirc). Just a side note, im not against people in relationships talking to friends about stuff, but what i am against is people who dont have your best interest at heart.

But, back to the story. I totally get it. People for the most part are consumed by what others think of them. She will probably forever be thinking in the back of her mind, what would people think if she decided to look past all of that and work on their marriage. But its going to also take her to do some self reflecting and see were there things she could've done better when they were going at it when he wanted to have children and other situations. He is gonna also be thinking, what are people going to say about him for not only fucking another chick while they were separated, but he got her pregnant too??
Click to expand...
[;'.your friend came out winning
 
AP21 said:
this is just one story. I have several

i have a REALLY good friend that is currently going through a divorce. I havent talked to him directly out of respect for his situation but i've heard bits and pieces from other close friends in our circle.

ITS A LOT of shit and not just black and white, but the gist of it is he and his wife got married about 5 years ago. He immediately wanted a family, but for some reason, she wanted to wait. He waited and when she decided she was ready, they found out she had some medical issues that would cause huge complications for them to have a child.

So, now he's mad b/c he felt had they tried earlier, they couldv'e been found out and could've done something about it. And she was one of those NOLA Catholics...they are a different breed, so a lot of stuff she was doing or wasnt doing, she used her religion as a scapegoat. The inability for them to have a child just compounded issues they were already having.

They decided to separate. During the separation, he smashed another chick, got her preggo. By the time he told his "wife", the baby was either born or a week or so from being born. Obviously, she feeling like she cant take him back now b/c he done went and had a baby with someone else. Now, w/o talking to him, i cant get an idea of what was going on through his head, but i know the dude, and i know he didnt just wake up and decided he was just gon fuck some chick just for the sake of having a baby, however, knowing his "wife", i could understand a lot of the other issues they were having throughout their marriage.

But on the outside, everyone is gonna think he is a pos b/c he got another woman pregnant while they were divorced. Well, i dont think his wife ever had any thoughts of them reconciling anyway, and im not sure why, but she would also run a lot of stuff through her mother/sister (who was also going through a divorce iirc). Just a side note, im not against people in relationships talking to friends about stuff, but what i am against is people who dont have your best interest at heart.

But, back to the story. I totally get it. People for the most part are consumed by what others think of them. She will probably forever be thinking in the back of her mind, what would people think if she decided to look past all of that and work on their marriage. But its going to also take her to do some self reflecting and see were there things she could've done better when they were going at it when he wanted to have children and other situations. He is gonna also be thinking, what are people going to say about him for not only fucking another chick while they were separated, but he got her pregnant too??
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But in this situation, that's not cheating, they already separated. Once we separate, we're free to do w.e df we want, idc if we were married, have kids, w.e, we're no longer together at that point.
 
DesiignersHypeMan said:
But in this situation, that's not cheating, they already separated. Once we separate, we're free to do w.e df we want, idc if we were married, have kids, w.e, we're no longer together at that point.
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separated doesnt equal divorced b/c you can separate with the intent to reconcile

BUT, him doing what he did im sure made it easier for her to just end it all at that point.

My point for using them as an example was, they were on the brink of divorce for something not related to cheating initially. Things happen b/t people. Doesnt make them bad, but again, based on the things i posted, there were things that both of them were unhappy with, and i honestly dont know if they had even discussed them, but i know he expressed things to her that bothered him and the feeling that i got was that she felt she wasnt that bad.

I'ma have to reach out to him to get the scoop at some point
 
That might be thread in itself. To me once we're "separated" we're no longer together, we're free to do what we want. I don't do "breaks", but I know others do and look at "breaks" differently. I'm too grown for breaks b.
 
DesiignersHypeMan said:
That might be thread in itself. To me once we're "separated" we're no longer together, we're free to do what we want. I don't do "breaks", but I know others do and look at "breaks" differently. I'm too grown for breaks b.
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its not that simple b/c of the legalities involved

if you are separated, and also depending on your situation, if you step out on your estranged spouse, they can still bring that up in a hearing if the shit is bad b/t ya'll
 
I have never took a guy back after he cheated. Once you mess up the purity of the relationship...you need to bounce. Nobody wants that community dick.

plus who has time to be checking your phone and social media accounts...driving myself crazy!! trying to figure out what you're up to because you decided to choke n stroke someone else.

I rather cancel the relationship and save myself the headache.

:saywutt: (plus do you want me looking at you like this 24/7 because I know longer trust you ? Even while you sleep??)

:nikka: (Do you want to be fighting at cheesecake ? ...I know you love to go there !!!)
 
in AP21 situation, that's not even cheating in my book, simply because the relationship was over the second they got separated...

even without him having a kid with another chick, they weren't' gonna get past that shit.....dude wanted a family, and the emphasis you placed on 'her" religious views to me just make it more likely that they weren't going to reconcile......

anything that's strong enough to push them that far apart, was only justification for the child

and she didn't take him back regardless......
 
Another crazy scenario is a comma or terminally ill S/O.....

like they're still alive, and justifiably expect you by their side......


i mean there's always gray areas..... but unless you address the gray area specifically, responses are always going deter to the general understanding of the topic
 
Dupacalypse said:
in AP21 situation, that's not even cheating in my book, simply because the relationship was over the second they got separated...

even without him having a kid with another chick, they weren't' gonna get past that shit.....dude wanted a family, and the emphasis you placed on 'her" religious views to me just make it more likely that they weren't going to reconcile......

anything that's strong enough to push them that far apart, was only justification for the child

and she didn't take him back regardless......
Click to expand...

just texted him a while ago

we gon chop it up in a few. But whats odd is that he moved to another state. idk how thats gon work when he just brought a child in the world, but im sure he'll explain everything when we talk

but the kid wasnt the issue, it was a biproduct from other things that had been happening in the relationship. Let not lose site of that
 
Dupacalypse said:
Another crazy scenario is a comma or terminally ill S/O.....

like they're still alive, and justifiably expect you by their side......
Click to expand...


That's worse than regular cheating, u asking to go to hell doing some coldblooded shit like that.
 
AP21 said:
this is just one story. I have several

i have a REALLY good friend that is currently going through a divorce. I havent talked to him directly out of respect for his situation but i've heard bits and pieces from other close friends in our circle.

ITS A LOT of shit and not just black and white, but the gist of it is he and his wife got married about 5 years ago. He immediately wanted a family, but for some reason, she wanted to wait. He waited and when she decided she was ready, they found out she had some medical issues that would cause huge complications for them to have a child.

So, now he's mad b/c he felt had they tried earlier, they couldv'e been found out and could've done something about it. And she was one of those NOLA Catholics...they are a different breed, so a lot of stuff she was doing or wasnt doing, she used her religion as a scapegoat. The inability for them to have a child just compounded issues they were already having.

They decided to separate. During the separation, he smashed another chick, got her preggo. By the time he told his "wife", the baby was either born or a week or so from being born. Obviously, she feeling like she cant take him back now b/c he done went and had a baby with someone else. Now, w/o talking to him, i cant get an idea of what was going on through his head, but i know the dude, and i know he didnt just wake up and decided he was just gon fuck some chick just for the sake of having a baby, however, knowing his "wife", i could understand a lot of the other issues they were having throughout their marriage.

But on the outside, everyone is gonna think he is a pos b/c he got another woman pregnant while they were divorced. Well, i dont think his wife ever had any thoughts of them reconciling anyway, and im not sure why, but she would also run a lot of stuff through her mother/sister (who was also going through a divorce iirc). Just a side note, im not against people in relationships talking to friends about stuff, but what i am against is people who dont have your best interest at heart.

But, back to the story. I totally get it. People for the most part are consumed by what others think of them. She will probably forever be thinking in the back of her mind, what would people think if she decided to look past all of that and work on their marriage. But its going to also take her to do some self reflecting and see were there things she could've done better when they were going at it when he wanted to have children and other situations. He is gonna also be thinking, what are people going to say about him for not only fucking another chick while they were separated, but he got her pregnant too??
Click to expand...


I think if she didn't care about what the outside thought if she took him back, she would've
 
You gotta be a sucka or someone with low self esteem to take a cheating partner back

AP that story you told was a break up, d
Dupacalypse said:
Another crazy scenario is a comma or terminally ill S/O.....

like they're still alive, and justifiably expect you by their side......


i mean there's always gray areas..... but unless you address the gray area specifically, responses are always going deter to the general understanding of the topic
Click to expand...
I honestly can't say what to do if your S/O is in a coma, those things can last years and at some point you gotta live your life. With the terminally ill S/O you can't be out there fucking someone else, you gotta wait a few months after their passing at the least
 
Dupacalypse said:
Another crazy scenario is a comma or terminally ill S/O.....

like they're still alive, and justifiably expect you by their side......


i mean there's always gray areas..... but unless you address the gray area specifically, responses are always going deter to the general understanding of the topic
Click to expand...



Emotionally I can see why someone would do this.

That kinda thing could weigh heavy on a person's mind. Especially if it's terminal situation. So for them, they've made peace with the situation and already mentally moved on.
 
how are you a sucka if you take someone back?

well in the situation i mentioned, thats not a sucka move

now if you are being physically abused, then yea...peace out...
 
AP21 said:
how are you a sucka if you take someone back?

well in the situation i mentioned, thats not a sucka move

now if you are being physically abused, then yea...peace out...
Click to expand...
because a lotta people go back in fear of not being able to find another to love them as they are....

being accepted is a major reason why a otta people stay in the relationship they're in......



"Look at you, don't nobody want you but me........You ain't shit without me, you......without me....equal shit. You understand that you ugly fat bitch"




tat shit real as fuck B.....once a person believes that kinda shit.......it's a wrap
 
Dupacalypse said:
because a lotta people go back in fear of not being able to find another to love them as they are....

being accepted is a major reason why a otta people stay in the relationship they're in......



"Look at you, don't nobody want you but me........You ain't shit without me, you......without me....equal shit. You understand that you ugly fat bitch"




tat shit real as fuck B.....once a person believes that kinda shit.......it's a wrap
Click to expand...



That episode was funny as hell.
 
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