Can you be "woke" and date white people?

MissK said:
I'm going to spin this in a different light. I will also admit to my boss because I'm probably older than a lot of you.
I am the child of interracial marriage. Shit was no walk in the park growing up- both sides had issues. Most of the hate in the family (Growing up) came from the black side. Most of the hate outside the family came from whites. Now the hate is pretty equal.
I really don't like when people start this you love who you love mess. While true, they aren't really thinking about the product of said love- the kids. I'm not speaking about being confused about who I am because I never was. I'm speaking about the bullshit that comes with it. Hell even my own kid lets me know. I asked him recently what he sees me as because they always have jokes about their light momma. He was like well I know who you are but if I saw you out from a distance, I'd think you were white. (I was married to a black man)
I say all this to say that yes, it matters who you date/marry because its foolish to think love is blind. Love conquers all. My mom was woke AF before woke was a thing and my dad is an I don't see color type man. Still didn't matter, all people saw was the white man with his black prize. All that hate and all those opinions from everyone landed right in our laps.

To complete my bias, I don't and never have dated a white man. I'm sure a therapist will tell you my attraction to dark men comes from my issues being light, acceptance, blah blah :)

It's 3 am so if this doesn't make sense screw you I'm tired. :)
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thank you for this

I never really thought about the lite brite struggle from that pov

I do worry tho because I never wanted that to become an issue in my household

I have a black daughter and two mixed daughters....they notice the difference between their skin and hair.....the two year old has said "daddy's like me, mommy's not like me" pointing at her skin which is completely innocent but I understand thats something we have to be transparent about with them and I am....the oldest is fully aware of what happened with her birth mother, and has accepted and called her new mother "mommy" for 3-4 years now (now in the process of intra-family adoption)

this woman had never touched black hair 4 years ago and now washes, deep conditions, braids, twists, etc on a weekly.....just through youtube and lots of nights of practice....to the point she's crazy about it now and is really strict with her (my daugher's) hairdressers when she's not doing it.....her hair is in the middle of her back right now....never seen a perm

even still, my wife understands and respects the fact that she simply cannot give this child everything she needs as a black woman growing up, and has no problem stepping aside when i want to send her to my sister's or my moms for some time with them

the two younger ones do spend more time w/ their "white side" which is only because my oldest was 3 when this started....they're too young to try to get into all that with now, but when it comes I think we'll handle it accordingly

its lots of mixed people where we live, also lots of racism....nothing as extreme as media makes it, but we all deal with it and I feel like there's struggles and disadvantages and also ups to anybody's relationships or situations, so thats no reason to say its wrong or we made a bad choice

i've already told the wife that the youngins will most likely identify more as black when they are older, epecially once they start spending summers and all that with my fam like the oldest does....they're only a little lighter than me and have light brown curly hair

havent really thought about any of this having an effect on the race of men they choose......but if im the "model man" im making it hard for em either way

SN: I've never been on any "we dont see color" shit.....i think thats backwards.....you have to embrace and understand the differences and be open about it.....I clown with her mom about their food....they laugh when my folks dont know shit about dogs or boats or nascar *shrugs*
 
Like_Water said:
He's essentially family. Maybe "irritate" wasn't necessarily the right word, however. "Disappointed" is prolly more appropriate.

Do you not want the best for your close friends and family? I certainly do. Whether it's my place or not, I feel she ain't the best. He knows he fucked up. He's expressed both embarrassment and disappointment in himself for getting caught up in such a situation.

He loves his daughter and he's trying to make it work. I'm supporting his decision, regardless of how I feel about it, because that's what you're supposed to do. Doesn't mean I hafta like it.

Your situation and your family are your cross to bear. There is no correlation.
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welp, yeah.....terribly different situation

and if that's really the case I agree the best thing to do would be to cut that off as soon as possible

with it being his "first", i can see where he probably got caught up in some type of colorstruck shit

I was never like that, so i guess its never been a thing to me

I remember I brought my uncle (just a couple years older but from deeeeep south) to some white chicks house one time....now he was a playa if I ever seen one, i wanted to be just like him....but that nigga completely froze that day...I had never seen him scared of women.....he could barely talk and even sat way on the other side of the room....he admitted later after I roasted him that he had never been around them and was indeed scared....that shit took me back a little lol
 
1/2 said:
welp, yeah.....terribly different situation

and if that's really the case I agree the best thing to do would be to cut that off as soon as possible

with it being his "first", i can see where he probably got caught up in some type of colorstruck shit

I was never like that, so i guess its never been a thing to me

I remember I brought my uncle (just a couple years older but from deeeeep south) to some white chicks house one time....now he was a playa if I ever seen one, i wanted to be just like him....but that nigga completely froze that day...I had never seen him scared of women.....he could barely talk and even sat way on the other side of the room....he admitted later after I roasted him that he had never been around them and was indeed scared....that shit took me back a little lol
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Yeah. This ain't shit like your situation. Lol. He did admit he was color-struck too.

He's not gonna cut anything off though. He was raised in a 2 parent, stable, loving household. He wants the same for his seed.

And this shit happened all in the middle of his "woke" tirades too. He ain't said shit since he been wit ol' girl. Lmao. He knows it appears contradictory to be super militant with a white girl. It just doesn't mix.

As long as you ain't one of those people that downplays the plight of black people, because you have a white mate, then Idgaf. You can still recognize and voice your opinions on the issues that affect us. After all, you are still black in America.
 
definitely.....I cant downplay shit lol

Im as black as I ever was growing up and could never shake some of things that came along with that growing up in the south

Im not militant by any means tho and have never referred to my awareness as being "woke".....sometimes I voice my opinions with my white family and it rolls into a convo I dont wanna have anymore, but we get it out for the most part....other times I gotta just agree to disagree

after all I been through, I worry about myself and my family and im comfortable with that
 
MissK said:
I'm going to spin this in a different light. I will also admit to my boss because I'm probably older than a lot of you.
I am the child of interracial marriage. Shit was no walk in the park growing up- both sides had issues. Most of the hate in the family (Growing up) came from the black side. Most of the hate outside the family came from whites. Now the hate is pretty equal.
I really don't like when people start this you love who you love mess. While true, they aren't really thinking about the product of said love- the kids. I'm not speaking about being confused about who I am because I never was. I'm speaking about the bullshit that comes with it. Hell even my own kid lets me know. I asked him recently what he sees me as because they always have jokes about their light momma. He was like well I know who you are but if I saw you out from a distance, I'd think you were white. (I was married to a black man)
I say all this to say that yes, it matters who you date/marry because its foolish to think love is blind. Love conquers all. My mom was woke AF before woke was a thing and my dad is an I don't see color type man. Still didn't matter, all people saw was the white man with his black prize. All that hate and all those opinions from everyone landed right in our laps.

To complete my bias, I don't and never have dated a white man. I'm sure a therapist will tell you my attraction to dark men comes from my issues being light, acceptance, blah blah :)

It's 3 am so if this doesn't make sense screw you I'm tired. :)
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:come here:
 
I dont think everyone can be brushed with one stroke on this one.

Sometimes ppl mingle with other races and it makes them more conscientious when dealing with ppl different than them.

On the other hand i know ppl thats in an interracial marriage/relationship who are racist but dont see themselves as racist.

So to answer the question yes i believe its possible to be woke n date whatever race. It all comes down to your intentions with the relationship and not 'selling' yourself out
 
Race Jones said:
What are your thoughts on the media portraying strong and outspoken pro black women of color on shows/movies but their lovers end up being white men? And these relationships are portrayed as unhealthy because they're hidden initially by the black woman. (References to what I'm discussing include Sam from Dear White People, Nova from Queen Sugar and on a less overt scale, Olivia Pope from Scandal. I'll leave Annalise out of this one).
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No! Do you really understand what you say you believe?
Race Jones said:
What are your thoughts on the media portraying strong and outspoken pro black women of color on shows/movies but their lovers end up being white men? And these relationships are portrayed as unhealthy because they're hidden initially by the black woman. (References to what I'm discussing include Sam from Dear White People, Nova from Queen Sugar and on a less overt scale, Olivia Pope from Scandal. I'll leave Annalise out of this one).
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ChicagoFigure said:
Nah its more like saying i love cherry coke but ima have me a sprite instead
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It's more to it than that. I couldn't choose sprite knowing that the creators of it poisoned my cherry coke for centuries and still is just at smaller doses... It would mean that I really don't love cherry coke like I said I did.
 
thats tough man lol

as much as I want to, I have no recourse

I have affiliated my company with the company who's parent company helped sabotage my company's parent company

fuck....
 
Whispering Eye said:
It's more to it than that. I couldn't choose sprite knowing that the creators of it poisoned my cherry coke for centuries and still is just at smaller doses... It would mean that I really don't love cherry coke like I said I did.
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But see we're talking about a human being so being with a white doesnt mean u support white supremacy, especially if the white partner doesnt either.

Like someone holding stock in a company then pullin out when they conduct business in a way the stock holder dont agree with.

Cuz if were gonna take it that far, anyone who continues to buy from h&m, watches nfl, is a patriots fan, doesnt like black ppl.

Including the employees, the players, the black ppl from boston who simply grew up rooting for the "trump team" before trump was president

Its too many layers levels and pieces
 
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