Yep..I've stated this before but my mother abandoned me at a young age because of drugs and demons she was facing. She sent me to live with my fathers family that had an attitude of not ever getting close to me because I wasnt anyones child. They gave me food and a place to stay but their weren't family.
When I was 14 my mothers sister ask me to come stay with her. I hadn't had a mother or a caring adult look after me since I was 7. She took in, she was religious, did a whole ceremony with anointing oils, and prayed to gawd for me growth.
I had never known of gawd before like that, to me he was just someone who made you life hell, not someone who blessed you. I was all in, she took me shopping and cared for me emotionally in a way no one ever had. Her children became jealous of that relationship and told her I was doing fucked up shit and saying fucked up shit.
She came to me one night, kneeled down to get eye to eye contact with me and told me that I'm not her son, she dont love and and she dont owe me shit. Then she sent me back to my fathers family, with them even more resentful of me for feeling like I bailed on them.
I grew up with no close emotional bonds and percieved everything as a threat. So yeah, the whole cant see, those that can wanna harm you, fear of attachment (boy ..girl) because of fear of pain of losing that attachment knowing how much if hurts..
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I know that feel bruh