Completely understandable fear.
I think you spoke on it before, but you and the father of your daughter aren't together. Ofc share whatever you're comfortable with sharing, but why did yall break up? If you could, would you have done things differently to make things work?
Well, yeah that's a pretty touchy subject for me and I hid it for a long time but i'm not afraid to speak up about it now.
Her father was abusive towards me. He's the same age as me i'm just a few months older.
He was abusive before I even got pregnant with our daughter and we would break up and get right back together. I could give a million excuses as to why I didn't or couldn't really leave him alone but the bottom line was that I loved him for some reason and it truly may have been the wrong reasons (who knows). He broke me down so bad mentally and emotionally that I truly became dependent on him though. He controlled the money, he controlled everything and my dumb ass let him smh. I worked my ass off when we met, I was working for FedEx and that's where I met him.
The beatings got so bad when I was pregnant though. He would beat in my head like a rag doll, literally. Dragging me, punching me.. He actually backhanded me in the mouth on a ride home from work one night because I tried to talk and defend myself. So yeah, I ended up with my teeth pushed so far back I couldn't close my mouth or eat. I had stitches in my mouth, I had to have emergency work done to pull my teeth back in place. I have scars on my face. I think he really was out to fuck my face up so bad that no one would want me. I knew that I had to leave when I was pregnant, I kept thinking of ways out. I felt like it would probably be impossible now that I had a baby because I was on maternity leave and he took care of everything.
He didn't stop though, he didn't care if I was holding her or anything. He would come at me full force just swinging. It got to the point that I had to stall him just to put my daughter down so that he could fight me. Every time I would threaten to leave he would tell me I could leave but she couldn't. Now, as I said already I LOVE my daughter and I should've left sooner but I didn't so hey.
Final straw was him punching me in the eye while I was holding our daughter, he had been mad at me and I heard her crying while I went to take a shower. When I came out he was just sitting there with her crying with this attitude and he got upset because I asked him why would he let her cry like that. Ultimately, that led to me getting punched in the face and my eye was swollen shut the next day. I basically got beat that whole weekend so that Monday night when he went to work, I called my mother and she talked my ass up out of my home. I had finally left her dad June of 2016.
