2023/2024 Football/Soccer Thread ⚽️

[Blue_London]

Smh

 

[toheeb27]

Oh u start Lauren James and good things happen, I AM SHOCKED!!!!!!

Dumb ass coach.

 

[Blue_London]

I hope that's not her ACL

 

[Blue_London]

 

[Blue_London]

I have seen enough England need to play one good team and they will be going home

 

[toheeb27]

I have seen enough England need to play one good team and they will be going home

6 points….

#comingHOME

 

[Infamous114]

 

[Big_Ev]

 

[dontdiedontkillanyone]

I have seen enough England need to play one good team and they will be going home

With everyone fit I'd say England would be pretty much favourites, but no Mead, Williamson and now Walsh... Grinding out these 1-0 wins doesn't give much confidence

 

[Blue_London]

6 points….

#comingHOME

Lol i believe they will play Germany or Spain and unlike the euros they have their best players fit. They will be landing at Heathrow shortly

 

[Northside7]

England are one step closer to bringing it home.

 

[Infamous114]

 

[Valentinez A. Kaiser]

That's a "duh winning" smile!

 

[dontdiedontkillanyone]

Quote of the day​ ​

"I wish it could be like my wife and Amazon, where we get a delivery every day" - Tottenham boss Ange Postecoglou on his club’s lack of new signings.​

 

[dontdiedontkillanyone]

FOOTBALL​ ​

Oh you boys, what are you like​ ​

The Man City dressing room used to be a quiet, solemn place, where silence was only broken by Pep barking about overlapping centre backs or Kevin de Bruyne celebrating a Fortnite victory.​

But last season it turned full frat house, as Kyle Walker waved his willy round Wythenshawe and Jack Grealish fired up his boombox.​

And their antics are geeing up the quieter players too. Like defender Ruben Dias, who was teetotal until the end of last season.​

After promising to “neck a couple of shots” if City pulled off the treble, Ruben was strapped into the dentist’s chair and waterboarded with tequila by his teammates.​

Eyes streaming, Dias staggered around the party wretching, before disappearing behind a curtain for a tactical chunder.​

Unfortunately, he hadn’t spotted a Gucci handbag belonging to Jack Grealish’s mum behind the curtain, and he filled it to the brim with sick.​

Lucky it wasn’t Claire Foden’s handbag…​

 

[dontdiedontkillanyone]

FOOTBALL​ ​

Urine trouble​ ​

Following Sunday’s story about Kolo Toure’s secret double life as a used car salesman, we had plenty of emails asking why a Premier League star would embark on such an elaborate caper.​

But boredom can drive footballers to do strange things.​

Take former Chelsea and Liverpool right back Glen Johnson, who was earning £30k a week when he was arrested for nicking a toilet seat at B&Q in 2007.​

Glen and Milwall striker Ben May were caught sneaking the seat and a set of taps underneath the checkout to avoid paying.​

"We all recognised Johnson," said one worker at the store. "No one could quite believe a bloke like him, with all that money, would be moronic enough to nick a toilet seat. But that's what him and May were doing.”​

 

[dontdiedontkillanyone]

FOOTBALL​ ​

McMafia​ ​

Among the biggest surprises in this transfer window: Jonny Evans’ return to Man United.​

Gaffer Erik Ten Hag is hoping the 35-year-old will set an example for the club’s younger stars, but he might want to do a few reference checks first.​

While captain of West Brom in 2018, Evans led an ill-advised grand theft auto during a training camp in Barcelona.​

After a late night sangria sesh in the team hotel, Evans, Gareth Barry, Jake Livermore and Boaz Myhill snuck out looking for a nightclub.​

Finding everywhere shut, they took a taxi to McDonald’s and sent the driver in to load up on nuggets and Filets o’ Fish.​

But while their chauffeur was in McDonald’s, the quartet commandeered his car and sped off into the Catalan night.​

Evans and co eventually returned to the team’s five star hotel at 5.30am and left the taxi dumped outside, the original owner nowhere to be found.​

The police were called, Evans was stripped of the armband and a run of six straight defeats followed, before West Brom were relegated.

 

[dontdiedontkillanyone]

Quick hits​ ​

Man United fans booed Harry Maguire during a pre-season friendly in America.​

Before Prince Harry, Meghan Markle tried to date Ashley Cole.​

Wrexham’s 40-year-old keeper Ben Foster was turned away from a bar in San Diego because he didn’t have ID.​

Attendances in the Saudi league last season…​

 

[Blue_London]

Haiti have no discipline

 

[dontdiedontkillanyone]