2023/2024 Football/Soccer Thread ⚽️
- Thread starter Infamous114
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Yet you still throw subs like a little fassy from the sideline...
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dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
It’s a madhouse
Ainsley Harriott's football riot
Quote of the day
“The first time I dropped acid, I was told you have to do it in a place you feel comfortable, so I went to Loftus Road. I saw the pitch rolling up like a wave." - QPR fan Pete Doherty.FOOTBALL
All the journalists are so friendly here
When Neymar’s family jetted out to Riyadh to inspect their son’s new digs, they were filled with wide-eyed wonder at the exotic gulf state.
Uncle João loved the home-baked mammoul, his mum cooed at the sedated tiger cubs, and his father innocently inquired whether people still have harems in the Middle East.
But Neymar’s sister Rafaella was drawn to another of the Kingdom’s eccentric customs: its unique cocktail of low taxes and bloodthirsty state repression.
And now, back in Brazil, she’s been blamed for an attempted coup which tried to reinstate strongman ex-president Jair Bolsonaro.
Investigators claim Rafaella wired money to the plotters behind the failed power grab, along with another famous footballing name: Rivaldo.
But you already knew he was a wrong’un…
FOOTBALL
Grab your knuckledusters lads, the green peppers are here
There are plenty of softly spoken Ottolenghi-lovers who slip on a Stone Island jacket, neck a couple of Stellas and adopt a geezer accent for a Saturday afternoon down the footy.
And it turns out beloved TV chef Ainsley Harriott is no different.
The former Ready Steady Cook host was caught up in a “football riot” after heading to the Istanbul derby between hated rivals Besiktas and Fenerbache in search of some Turkish street food.
“It’s a mad'ouse here, don’t get this down the Emirates,” Ainsley exclaimed, dropping his trademark teddy bear chuckle for the Silk Cut growl of a battleaxe pub landlady.
Although Ains couldn’t help slipping back into his camp BBC persona: “I can’t even see all the lovely food”.
SPONSORED BY NAKED WINES
Red devil
For a generation of managers, a visit from Man United raised a daunting prospect: choosing a bottle to impress wine-loving Sir Alex Ferguson at his traditional post-match drink.
And while Harry Redknapp got away with serving him Blue Nun, Fergie could be brutal.
When new Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho uncorked a bottle of plonk in 2004, Sir Alex chastised him for serving "paint stripper". The next week a horrified Roman Abramovich sent Sir Alex a case of Tignanello, a big name Tuscan red.
RUGBY
One hand on the trophy
Burglars broke into the South Africa rugby HQ this week, nicking a load of laptops, signed shirts and whiskey but leaving behind the World Cup trophy.
Although perhaps they were on to something - apparently the cup would only be worth a couple of grand melted down.
FOOTBALL
Salt Bae will see you now, Mr Kakuta
When you’re scraping a living as a non league footballer, mucking out the rancid bogs in the away end, it’s easy to fantasise about the high-flying life of a Premier League star.
And Corby Town midfielder Medi Abalimba lived that dream, posing as Chelsea bench warmer Gaël Kakuta to rack up £163,000 in credit card bills on luxury hotels, chauffeur driven Bentleys and helicopter flights over London.
He was eventually jailed, but already had his next scam lined up: he wooed Thierry Henry’s ex-wife Claire Merry, and phoned her every day from Wormwood Scrubs prison, telling her he was in Kuwait on military service.
Claire later told a court she could hear sounds “consistent with a military operation”, presumably some unfortunate inmate getting a sharpened toothbrush up the arris.
After his “return from duty”, Medi took Claire out to fancy restaurants, before she spotted a mysterious fifty grand transaction out of her bank account.
And if you’re wondering what Abalimba is up to now, he’s serving a four stretch in the slammer after convincing a chauffeur to pay off his £100,000 bills by telling him he was Diana Ross’ godson.
Still, beats East Thurrock away on a wet Tuesday night.
FOOTBALL
Cam on you Hammers
As David Cameron gets his trotters under the desk at the Foreign Office, he’ll be longing for the simpler times of the early 2010s, when his toughest diplomatic assignment was convincing Xi Jinping to pose for a selfie with Sergio Aguero.
But before Dave drags Zelensky and Putin to Soho Farmhouse, he might want a quick refresher on which side he supports.
While Prime Minister, Cameron always claimed to be a “lifelong” Aston Villa fan.
Until he gave a speech on multiculturalism and praised Britain as a country "where you can support Man Utd, the Windies and Team GB at the same time. Of course, I’d rather you supported West Ham.”
He later confirmed he was a Villa fan and blamed his mistake on a "brain fade".
Quick hits
After the David Beckham Netflix documentary, there was an 6.4% increase in long shots in the Premier League.
AS Pirae are making a 31,690km round-trip from Tahiti to play in the French Cup tomorrow.
The Scottish FA are trying to convince Anthony Gordon to switch his international allegiance from England.
Boxer Carl Froch took his wife to a strip club on their first date.AND FINALLY
Caught behind
(Full clip)
That's it for today.
Stop crying about Bloom and Barber putting the ballys on taking your £100's of millions... Get oooooover it, you turned them into mid players...
toheeb27
OG
Yea, I remember I blocked @dontdiedontkillanyone for awhile bcos of this shit. Unfortunately dude is one of the few people that posts about Women’s football on here. Will be blind without him, lol.It’s a madhouse
Ainsley Harriott's football riot
“The first time I dropped acid, I was told you have to do it in a place you feel comfortable, so I went to Loftus Road. I saw the pitch rolling up like a wave." - QPR fan Pete Doherty.
FOOTBALL
When Neymar’s family jetted out to Riyadh to inspect their son’s new digs, they were filled with wide-eyed wonder at the exotic gulf state.
Uncle João loved the home-baked mammoul, his mum cooed at the sedated tiger cubs, and his father innocently inquired whether people still have harems in the Middle East.
But Neymar’s sister Rafaella was drawn to another of the Kingdom’s eccentric customs: its unique cocktail of low taxes and bloodthirsty state repression.
And now, back in Brazil, she’s been blamed for an attempted coup which tried to reinstate strongman ex-president Jair Bolsonaro.
Investigators claim Rafaella wired money to the plotters behind the failed power grab, along with another famous footballing name: Rivaldo.
But you already knew he was a wrong’un…
FOOTBALL
There are plenty of softly spoken Ottolenghi-lovers who slip on a Stone Island jacket, neck a couple of Stellas and adopt a geezer accent for a Saturday afternoon down the footy.
And it turns out beloved TV chef Ainsley Harriott is no different.
The former Ready Steady Cook host was caught up in a “football riot” after heading to the Istanbul derby between hated rivals Besiktas and Fenerbache in search of some Turkish street food.
“It’s a mad'ouse here, don’t get this down the Emirates,” Ainsley exclaimed, dropping his trademark teddy bear chuckle for the Silk Cut growl of a battleaxe pub landlady.
Although Ains couldn’t help slipping back into his camp BBC persona: “I can’t even see all the lovely food”.
SPONSORED BY NAKED WINES
For a generation of managers, a visit from Man United raised a daunting prospect: choosing a bottle to impress wine-loving Sir Alex Ferguson at his traditional post-match drink.
And while Harry Redknapp got away with serving him Blue Nun, Fergie could be brutal.
When new Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho uncorked a bottle of plonk in 2004, Sir Alex chastised him for serving "paint stripper". The next week a horrified Roman Abramovich sent Sir Alex a case of Tignanello, a big name Tuscan red.
RUGBY
Burglars broke into the South Africa rugby HQ this week, nicking a load of laptops, signed shirts and whiskey but leaving behind the World Cup trophy.
Although perhaps they were on to something - apparently the cup would only be worth a couple of grand melted down.
FOOTBALL
When you’re scraping a living as a non league footballer, mucking out the rancid bogs in the away end, it’s easy to fantasise about the high-flying life of a Premier League star.
And Corby Town midfielder Medi Abalimba lived that dream, posing as Chelsea bench warmer Gaël Kakuta to rack up £163,000 in credit card bills on luxury hotels, chauffeur driven Bentleys and helicopter flights over London.
He was eventually jailed, but already had his next scam lined up: he wooed Thierry Henry’s ex-wife Claire Merry, and phoned her every day from Wormwood Scrubs prison, telling her he was in Kuwait on military service.
Claire later told a court she could hear sounds “consistent with a military operation”, presumably some unfortunate inmate getting a sharpened toothbrush up the arris.
After his “return from duty”, Medi took Claire out to fancy restaurants, before she spotted a mysterious fifty grand transaction out of her bank account.
And if you’re wondering what Abalimba is up to now, he’s serving a four stretch in the slammer after convincing a chauffeur to pay off his £100,000 bills by telling him he was Diana Ross’ godson.
Still, beats East Thurrock away on a wet Tuesday night.
FOOTBALL
As David Cameron gets his trotters under the desk at the Foreign Office, he’ll be longing for the simpler times of the early 2010s, when his toughest diplomatic assignment was convincing Xi Jinping to pose for a selfie with Sergio Aguero.
But before Dave drags Zelensky and Putin to Soho Farmhouse, he might want a quick refresher on which side he supports.
While Prime Minister, Cameron always claimed to be a “lifelong” Aston Villa fan.
Until he gave a speech on multiculturalism and praised Britain as a country "where you can support Man Utd, the Windies and Team GB at the same time. Of course, I’d rather you supported West Ham.”
He later confirmed he was a Villa fan and blamed his mistake on a "brain fade".
AND FINALLY
(Full clip)
That's it for today.
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Fergie just won $1mil with his horse 'Spirit Dancer'... Not a bad days work...
www.skysports.com
Sir Alex Ferguson hails 'best-ever' win after Spirit Dancer wins Bahrain International Trophy
Former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson wins valuable Bahrain International Trophy with Spirit Dancer; That is the best ever, without doubt. Against all the pedigrees and form of all the other horses - thats fantastic, I couldnt believe it
Northside7
OG
Those refs were lucky that game wasn't at the emirates.
Bullshit statement from the FA. Nothing but cheaters.
Mknight
Active Member
Good thing y'all have been banking those points.
Elzo69Renaissance
I dare one of you niggas to scream No Diddy!
Soon as City gets hit w the points deduction it’s lit lol
GNS
OG
Didn't know y'all chelsea mans got annoyed to the point of blocking people.
Thought y'all only did the annoyings and that's it
This makes me happy to hear
Keep it up @Water Ur Seeds and @dontdiedontkillanyone
Thought y'all only did the annoyings and that's it
This makes me happy to hear
Keep it up @Water Ur Seeds and @dontdiedontkillanyone
What makes it worse for Everton is the report said they didnt breach FFP to 'gain a sporting advantage'...
What took them over the threshold was the costs of upgrading facilities etc which cost more than expected due to COVID etc and them losing Russian sponsors because of the war in Ukraine...
What took them over the threshold was the costs of upgrading facilities etc which cost more than expected due to COVID etc and them losing Russian sponsors because of the war in Ukraine...
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Looking at it objectively, with the 10 points deduction:
- everton are now 19th in the table of 4 points. That's joint bottom with Burnley
- to get out of relegation to 17th requires only 2 points. Luton currently occupy this position on 6 points
- relegation battle looks to be a 5 horse race from 16th to 20th. The points difference between Bournemouth, Luton, Sheffield United, Everton and Burnley is only 5 points
- of the 5 teams mentioned, only Everton were single digits goals conceded on minus 3. Next to them is Luton Town which is on minus 12 points. So if it came down to goal difference, chances are Everton will survive
Changing my previous stance, I think Everton could actually survive the drop. Form needs to good come now to Xmas to not get into a slump following the news
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